


Monsters

by cipherine



Series: Monsters [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Dark Dipper Pines, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Human Bill Cipher, M/M, Mabel is a sweetheart as usual - Dipper not so much, Mental Health Issues, Not your regular dark billdip I promise, Older Dipper Pines, PLEASE take the warnings seriously. All of them!, Smut, pro tip: don't let me write fanfiction. I'll fuck everyone up. even the villains. no one is safe, this plays 8 years after Weirdmageddon, this turned out much darker than planned ahaha. sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 11:06:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 49,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6236227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cipherine/pseuds/cipherine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Stanleys recovered memories weren't enough to bring me back."<br/>Of course this wasn't the reason.<br/>"It was you, Pine Tree. You and your strange obsession with me."<br/>No need to tell him. Dipper knew. It was his fault entirely.<br/>"Dipper Pines, you are truly messed up."<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Obsession

**Author's Note:**

> Hi and welcome to "Monsters"!   
> You might have read this before, but I completely edited the entire fanfic to get rid of mistakes and even add a few more scenes. Also, here is the updated PLAYLIST (one song for every chapter!)   
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYC037A5lIqUO7o8SfTNN-dSzHwvQwTHy
> 
> WARNINGS:  
> Violence? Yes.  
> Explicit sex scenes? Yes.  
> Gore? No. I don't like to describe injuries and bloody stuff explicitly. Leaving that to your imagination.  
> Major Character Death? Yes, at the end of the story.
> 
> Rape/NonCon? Everything actually happens with consent, in a messed up way, but you could interpret it differently, that's why I put the warning there. Also, I can not guarantee what's gonna happen past chapter 5.  
> EDIT: Yep that's definitely noncon after chapter 5.  
> I'm so sorry for this, but I have really bad ideas sometimes and need to let them out in some form.  
> Dipper in this story is 21 years old. He's also absolutely nothing like the child he used to be.  
> So, what you get here is a very very dark and twisted Dipper, even more so in later chapters.  
> (Which one of them was the demon, again?)

_Tick, Tock._

Dipper had wanted to live alone. 

To focus on his studies, he chose to live alone in a small flat. It was really not much, he had a room and a kitchen and could afford the rent with his part-time job in the bookstore. Mabel didn’t live far from here, together with her boyfriend. Dipper had forgotten his name again. He forgot about everything that wasn’t important. Makes more room for new information.   
They visited him sometimes to watch movies, or to go to a bar together, and every time Mabel would ask if it really was okay for him. 

“You’re not feeling like a third wheel or something, Dips?” she would ask.   
  
He would tell her that it was okay, that he never really felt that way. Then Mabel would sigh and tell him to find some new friends or a girlfriend for a change, a boyfriend for all she cared. He had told her once that he was unsure whether he’s interested in both or nothing.   
It was a lie.   
Dipper knew exactly what he wanted.   
  
Not much here after all.   
Just a room, a kitchen, and a clock. _Tick Tock_. 

These days didn’t happen all that often. Days clouded by dark thoughts, not necessarily sad thoughts, but dark ones. Days when everything suddenly felt wrong, a very familiar kind of wrong. The feeling of being watched taking his every step and of being followed by his own shadow. Days when he would lie in bed for what feels like forever, trying to figure out what he wanted. He knew, he knew. He just didn’t understand, and Dipper hated whatever he couldn’t understand. He hadn’t been able to figure out this one in years, and it bothered him. He wasn’t able to come to any conclusion other than:   
  
_Dipper Pines, something is seriously wrong with you._  

Maybe today, he thought. Maybe it’s not just my own shadow today.   
Eyes only half open, he stared at his sketchbook. He’d been drawing random monsters for the past two hours. Some he remembered from Gravity Falls, some just jumped out of his imagination. Every page had a certain shape somewhere on it, small and hard to notice. Triangles. The spell to summon him had once been written on one of these pages, but he had ripped it out ad thrown it away, because he didn’t want Mabel to see it. After all, she loved to grab his sketchbook and look at the drawings, because she thought they were great and that Dipper could become an artist if he wanted to. But Dipper wasn’t interested in the act of drawing, he was interested in the _things_ he drew. 

Eyes hit the clock.   
Almost Midnight.   
_Tick Tock_.  
He shoulsd sleep, he’s got two lectures in the morning and work in the afternoon.   
But today was bad. The feeling wouldn’t leave, wouldn’t let him sleep.    
  
_Are you here?_ Dipper asked loudly in his mind.   
  
_Why is it that I feel like you’re here sometimes, when you’re not?  
Is it even possible for you to be here?_   
  
“Triangulum, entangulum. Meteforis dominus ventium. Meteforis venetisarium.“ _  
  
_ He heard himself say the words as if it wasn’t himself talking. He had tried this so often. Nothing ever happened. Or did something happen? Was he here, laughing at the stupid young man trying to summon him? Watching him struggle maybe, even?   
  
Dipper did not look or act desperately. He was careful not to do that, because there was always the possibility that he _was_ watching. And Dipper wouldn’t show any weakness. Not until he figured out what exactly it was that he wanted. But the day went by as the clockhands passed 12, the comfortable darkness of the night embraced him, and nothing happened at all.  

The next day however was the same, and that was new.   
The strange feeling had never before haunted him two days in a row. And Dipper should know, he kept a small journal about it ever since he was 14. That was when it all started. Mabel had noticed a few times. But Dipper had reassured her that when it happened, he was just having a bad day, or that he was missing Gravity Falls. He wasn’t sure if Mabel believed him. She was smarter than most people would think. Good thing he had something to make sure she wouldn’t dig any deeper.   
  
“You’re still here.”   
He said these words after waking up, after sitting in his bed for 30 minutes and focusing on the strange feeling, deciding if it was really still there or not. When he was very sure about it, he grabbed his journal and took note of the time and date.   
  
Then he said it again.  
 “Triangulum, entangulum. Meteforis dominus ventium. Meteforis venetisarium.“ _  
_ Nothing, of course.   
Still, there was change.   
_Maybe today._  
  
He had a quick breakfast, just cereals. He didn’t have time for anything fancy. Mabel had often told him that he should eat more healthy stuff.   
“Try natural yogurt with fruits, it’s perfect for the morning – delicious and healthy!”   
Dipper didn’t feel like it.   
Three minutes in the bathroom, a splash of water on his tired face. Didn’t help against the dark shadows under his eyes, but he had learned to embrace these. Mabel once even said that a friend of hers thought that Dippers messy hairstyle, three day stubble and the constant dark circles under his eye made him look somewhat “sexy” and “mysterious”.   
He stuffed his wallet, keys, cell-phone and laptop into his huge backpack. He was ready to go, but went back to his room one more time to get the journal, too. Something was different today, so he should try to record every small difference.  

Then he wanted to leave, but he couldn’t.   
It was as if an invisible force tried to keep him in his room, though nothing was there.  
The sketchbook was still open from last night, on the desk next to his bed. Dippers fingers brushed over the open page. Brushed over the familiar triangular form.   
He felt strange.   
Weird.  
Uncomfortable.   
Tired, but not physically.   
_  
If you’re really trying to not look desperate, you’re not doing a very good job._   
  
Wait, did he think this to himself, or was it someone else?  
Dipper blinked. He couldn’t tell.   
“Are you here?” he asked, the question that has been asked so many, many times.  
   
**_Always._**   
Again, Dipper couldn’t tell if it was his own thought or not.    
  
“Show yourself!”   
The look on the young mans face darkened.   
  
_Do you really want that,_ ** _Pine Tree_** _?  
  
_ His eyes widened.   
Was it happening? Was it finally, finally happening?   
He took a deep breath.   
_  
Yeesh kid, I knew you’d miss me, but you’re actually being kinda creepy about it. Look at what you’ve grown into! It’s been a while. Lookin’ fine sapling, I wouldn’t mind possessing_ ** _this_** _body.  
_  
“Where are you?!”, Dipper yelled without thinking, looking around himself, looking for the triangular shape that has been haunting his dreams.   
_  
I would’ve shown myself sooner, but as you might remember, I’ve been erased._   
  
“You should have been able to come back when Stan recovered his memory. We all knew that and we all took the risk.”   
  
_That’s rich, kid. You were the one_ ** _convincing_** _the others that even if Stanley recovered his memory, I wouldn’t be a threat anymore. Incredible that you even managed to convince good old Sixer._   
  
Dipper heard the familiar laughter, but it sounded like it was far, far away.   
  
_But Stanleys recovered memories weren’t enough to bring me back. So you technically don’t have to feel bad about lying to your family, Pine Tree.  
_  
Of course this wasn’t the reason.   
The laughter seemed to come closer, it felt like it was reaching out to Dipper.   
  
**_It was you, Pine Tree._  
You and your strange obsession with me.**   
  
No need to tell him. Dipper knew. It was his fault entirely. 

 _However…_   
  
Dipper shivered. He still couldn’t see anyone and he wasn’t in the mindscape either. Everything was still in color. He had started scratching his arms. A bad habit, showing that he was nervous.  
  
_I’m not back to full power and I won’t be for a long time. But thanks to you trying to summon me multiple times over the past few years, drawing me into your cute little sketchbook about 253 times, and thinking about me whenever you’re not focusing on something else, I can now show myself to you, and you only._   
  
“What do you want?”, Dipper asked. He was shaking now.   
_  
Hahah. Oh no, Pine Tree. You’re not the one asking questions. You will tell_ ** _me_** _what it is that_ ** _you_** _want so desperately.  
_  
The voice suddenly had a clear location. It was right next to Dipper, whispering the words into his right ear. He turned around, breathing heavily, but there was still nothing.  
  
_Why are you scared? You wanted me to be here so badly. If you tell me what you want, I might just give it to you, since thanks to your fucked up little head I’ll be able to come back into this world, one sunny day._

Dipper was silent.   
  
_Speechless, huh? How about you give me access to your mind then? You might have guessed it, but I’m incredibly bored and you’re the only person I can bother right now. If you don’t know what you want, I would love to find out myself. How about a deal?_ ** _Show me the darkest corners of your mind, Pine Tree. Let me in and I’ll give you whatever it is that I find there, what it is that you want._  **

Then he noticed. The room had been drained of colors after all.   
He was in the mindscape.   
Something, or someone, touched his shoulder from behind.  
Without looking, without even thinking, Dipper grabbed the hand.  
  
“Deal.”   

 


	2. Wishes

Laughter.  
Way too loud.   
It made Dippers head spin.  
What he saw were all of his dark desires spilled out right in front of him, above him, and on the walls of his blank mind. What he had given him access to **.  
  
Him**. Bill Cipher. The demon that had tried to end the world years ago. The demon he had now let into his mind, willingly.   
  
“Oh, Pine Tree, Pine Tree, **Pine Tree**! This is so much **better** than I would have ever imagined!“  
  
The last time Dipper had heard Bill laugh like this was when the rift had opened and the apocalypse had started in Gravity Falls. Not a particularly nice memory. Bill was floating above him in his usual triangular shape, and Dipper didn’t dare to look at him, or at the pictures and scenes the demon pulled out of his mind.   
  
He stared at the ground as if there was something incredibly interesting, but even like that he couldn't ignore what his own mind was showing him. All those dreams from the past weeks, months, years. Dirty little secrets he would never tell to anyone, wouldn't even write them down in a diary of some sort, wouldn't even admit them to himself. He saw himself, tied up, wounded, moaning and begging for _more, more, more_. The silhouette of another person doing these things to him, and if it wasn't for this dreamed up version of Dipper moaning Bill's name, the demon probably wouldn't have guessed.  
  
“Y’know kid, my guess was that you wanted revenge on someone and didn’t want to dirty your cute little hands. Summoning me to kill or torture someone, that’s not uncommon among you meat sacks. But this? Ahahahahaha!”   
  
Dipper felt his face heat up and his heart throbbing so hard he was afraid Bill could hear it. The demon was laughing so loud that it hurt his ears.   
  
“This is **hilarious**!”, the demon yelled, “I thought Sixer was weird about me, but boy, you’re worse!”   
  
Dipper kept his eyes closed. He knew what he was getting into. He hadn’t thought twice about taking the deal, because he needed to find out if that really was what he wanted. He needed to see these pictures in his mind, needed to force himself to look at them, because he had locked them away. He had been telling himself that this can not possibly be what he wants. No human would ever want something like this. But there he was, kneeling on the floor of his own dark mind, his entire body shaking because these desires were real, and they were his. His alone.  
Bill had changed his shape. He came closer.   
  
“Look what I just picked out of your messed up little dreams,” the demon said, grinning.   
  
An actual grin, because he now had a mouth. A human body, but not entirely human, as he still only had one eye, and where a second eye should have been was nothing but a black hole. He was taller than Dipper, had wild, golden hair and his fingernails were like claws. He wore tight, long pants, but no shirt. His skin was tanned and full of strange, thin tattoos, mysteries to be solved. His one eye was glowing bright yellow with the familiar cat-like slit that Dipper had stared into so many times, so many years ago. He was exactly what Dipper had imagined – or wished – him to be like.   
  
Bill came closer.   
“Naughty little Pine Tree. But I’m a man of my word, so you’re going to get your end of the deal now,” he said.   
  
His grin was way too wide to even look remotely human. It sent a shiver down Dippers spine and the young man started shaking again. He was scared, and _thrilled_.   
  
“I’ve seen everything, Pine Tree. No wonder you haven’t been in any relationship in all these years. You can’t, right? Because when you ask yourself what you want, you think of _this_. You think of _me_.”   
The demon was so close now, so close, Dipper could just…   
  
**“Dipper Pines, you are truly messed up.”**   
Slender fingers lifted Dippers chin. He stared into one eye, and one black void.   
It was horrifying.   
Weird.   
Wrong.   
Deadly.   
It was exactly what Dipper wanted.   
And he wanted to cry.   
Why? Why did he want this? Why couldn’t he just be a normal, decent human being?   
  
Bill’s lips collided with his own, and Dippers hands immediately moved to the demons chest because he needed something to hold on to. The demons kiss was hungry, possessive, so full of all the messed up emotions that have been boiling up deep inside of Dippers mind. And he kissed back. Opened his mouth in submission and let the other take every bit of control.   
When Bill broke the kiss, Dipper looked horrified and turned on at the same time.   
  
“It’s adorable how even after I’ve seen all this, some part of you still denies that these are your own and very real desires.”   
Bill grabbed him by his neck and slammed him into the ground. Dipper screamed at the pain, panting and trembling as Bill pinned him down. Blue Flames engulfed the young mans wrists and kept him in place. The pain wasn’t real, because they were in the mindscape. But for Dipper, it was part of the thrill. So he could still feel it. Or part of it.   
  
One more kiss.   
Bill began to undress him.   
It was almost too much already. Dipper was hard, and Bill once again broke into shrill, almost screeching laughter. Of course he would laugh, it was pathetic how turned on Dipper already was when Bill had hardly even touched him yet.   
“I can give you so much more than this, Pine Tree.”  
Exactly what he wanted to hear.   
  
An agonizing scream left Dipper’s throat as Bill sunk his sharp teeth into his neck, drawing blood. Dipper struggled in pain. The demon bit down one more time, his teeth sinking even deeper into the soft skin, the claws on his fingers ripping off Dippers last few pieces of clothing.   
He was now naked, unable to move, and above him a horrible demon ready to do with him as he pleases. But the thought was not a bad one. It made his blood boil. It made him feel _alive_.   
  
“Why…” Dipper whispered to himself in disbelief.   
  
Bill let out a quiet laugh.    
“Maybe you should’ve been born a demon. You don’t seem too happy with your boring human self.”   
  
“I don’t want this.”   
  
“You **do**. This was the deal. I’m giving you exactly,” he paused and scratched his sharp nails all over Dippers chest, making him scream, “What you want.”  
  
Dipper knew that it was the truth. It was all over. All this time of trying to convince himself that he was just an ordinary human…   
He wasn’t.   
  
_Dipper Pines, you are truly, absolutely messed up._  

Bills hands wandered all over his body, slowly and teasing, his mouth sucking and biting Dippers neck every now and then. He managed to make him go crazy within very few minutes.   
  
“Bill, please—“   
  
“Please what?”   
  
The demons eye seemed to glow even brighter now, it’s color changing to red for a moment, making Dipper stare at him in fear. Bill grinned again, very widely, showing off his razor sharp teeth.   
  
“You will tell me exactly what you want,” he said, his fingers closing around Dippers throat, “ **now**.”   
  
Dipper started shaking again, crying even, he struggled to breath and wanted to yank away the hand on his neck out of reflex, forgetting that his own hands were unable to move. And even so, he felt all of his fear moving straight downwards, turning him on even more.   
  
“Destroy me,” Dipper breathed out, soft sobbing following his own words, “Break me. Do with me as you p-please.”  
  
“And?” Bill whispered very close to Dippers ear, sending shivers through the young mans body.   
  
“Fuck me.”   
Tears streamed down his face.   
  
_I’m so messed up.  
Twisted.   
I don’t deserve to even be called a human.   
I’m possibly causing a future apocalypse just by letting him near me._   
  
But despite all of these thoughts, despite knowing just how wrong all of this was, Dipper couldn’t help but admit that _it felt right._   
  
“Gladly, Pine Tree,” the demon said, his voice now husky and low. He let go of Dippers neck and reached for his belt, opening it and getting rid of his own pants. Why was he naked except for pants? Probably something Dipper imagined some day, in some twisted dream.   
  
“I’ve done this before, you know. Fucking with humans is always fun after all, no matter if literally or not.”   
Bill tilted his head and looked at Dippers scared expression, his crying and his weak struggle against his own desires. Bill’s fingers touched Dippers lips, brushed over them, then a single one pushed into his mouth, in and out, in and out.    
  
“But the difference is, no one has ever _wanted_ me to do something like this. Not even Sixer. He was obsessed with me, and he kind of wanted my love or something like that, but even he would have never wanted **this**.”  
  
Bill simply watched as Dipper started to suck on his finger, probably pretending it to be something else entirely. After all these years, his little puppet was still full of surprises. And Bill couldn’t even deny that he loved it. 

Oh, they would have so much fun.   


* * *

  
  
  
Dipper’s body in the real world was shaking, as if he had the worst nightmare there could be. In the mindscape, he was experiencing heaven and hell at the same time. 

„Make some noise, kid. Let me hear you,“ Bill muttered into his ear, and Dipper moaned out loud, shivering and panting as Bill fucked him at a painfully slow pace. It felt incredible, it hurt so much, but he wanted more— more— 

„More, Bill, p-please,“ He begged, trying to move his ass against the other’s cock. 

„Thirsty little slut,“ Bill commented with a laugh, but he didn’t go faster. Instead he grabbed a fistful of Dipper’s hair and tugged roughly on it, earning a pained noise from Dipper. 

Everything wasn’t real, but it felt so real, it was horrible and amazing, so wrong but so _right_. 

„I can’t believe what you’ve turned into… My little Pine Tree, all grown up and wanting nothing more than a demon to fuck his brains out,“ Bill said, grinning. 

Tears gathered in the corners of Dipper’s eyes.   
He couldn’t even defend himself.   
It _was_ what he wanted. 

„Is this what you’ve been fantasizing about when you’ve gotten off in the past years? Did you fuck yourself on your fingers and think about this pathetic, dreamed up human form of me to do these things to you?“ 

Dipper didn’t want to say anything, but then Bill’s hand was suddenly around his neck, choking him again, and he couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. Everything hurt. Bill had beaten him up badly before he had started to fuck him, and his entire body was bloody and sore. But the pain made him feel real. The pain reminded him of being alive. The pain was good. He _wanted_ it. 

„I…“ Dipper choked out, having a hard time to talk with how hard Bill’s grip around his neck was, „Y-yes… this… is it…“ 

Bill grinned and just increased the pressure on Dipper’s throat. Dipper cried and struggled, but it was in vain. When Bill finally let go, he coughed hard and sobbed. But he didn’t have any time to calm down, because Bill was suddenly pounding into him harder and faster than before, and it made Dipper scream in both pain and pleasure. Bill squeezed his ass and fucked him almost brutally. Dipper’s entire body was tense and trembling. He wasn’t sure how long he would be able to endure this, but he _needed_ it. 

It had been so many years since he had last felt like this.   
_Alive._  
I’m still alive after all.  
I'm so glad.   
So glad...

„Aaah… Pine Tree, you’re a really good fuck,“ Bill groaned and kept going faster. 

Dipper wanted to tell him to shut up and just do his thing, but in the end the demon’s teasing talk just turned him on even more. He was crying, but kept moaning the demon’s name. 

When Bill came, and Dipper as well, he wasn’t sure whether what he felt was good or bad. He felt amazing, he felt satisfied - he _felt_ something, for fucks sake, but he was also crying. Crying over his entire existence, over how fucked up he was and over the fact that this was what he wanted, what he needed, what had been missing in his life. It was wrong, wasn’t it? For him to want this. To want Bill. It was very wrong. He couldn’t even predict how things would go on from here, how dangerous it really was to let Bill near him.   
  
But did it really matter? 

The things humans did just to feel a little something.


	3. Fulfillment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three week time jump, and explicit (but consent) sex scene ahead.  
> By the way, Bill's talking is only in italic when Dipper is awake / not in the mindscape.  
> He must be in Dippers mind to be able to talk to Dipper when he's awake.  
> It's important for later on story, so I thought I should mention it.  
> 

* * *

  
  
It had been weeks since the deal he made with the demon. And Dipper would be lying if he said he regretted it.  
He didn’t regret even one thing about it. If anything, he felt so much better. So _alive_.  
As if he had been dead for the past 8 years and now his heart was beating and feeling things again, pain and fear mostly, but _he felt something_. The thought almost made him cry, because he was so glad. He didn’t know why he had been feeling dead for so long, why he could hardly even remember what he’d done these past years other than studying and having the same kind of conversations with Mabel and his parents a million times. 

Everything was different now. Even Mabel had noticed.  
  
“You’re in such a good mood lately, bro-bro, did something happen?”, she had asked, and then she had proceeded to yell on and on about how dipper must be crushing on someone. Dipper laughed a little. She wasn’t entirely wrong.  
  
He was always there now, not just in his dreams. He followed him through the day, talked to him sometimes. And Dipper didn’t mind. No, not at all. He _enjoyed_ Bill’s company. And Bill himself seemed to get more and more attached to him, too.  
After the first few times of Bill completely wrecking him in his dreams, making him wake up all sweaty and shaking, the demon simply disappeared without a word. Until Dipper made Bill realize that the deal could’ve been read as only needing to fulfill his wishes once. There hadn’t been any need for Bill to do it more than once.

Dipper smiled.  
He had caught Bill Cipher off guard.  
That way he made the demon admit that it wasn’t just what Dipper wanted, it was what Bill wanted, too. And that was when they had started spending more time together, even outside of the dreams. The demon couldn’t do anything else, he was still pretty much erased from this world except for Dipper. And being _that_ bored, of course he would stay around. Bill was able to talk to him through his mind thanks to the deal they made. Sometimes Dipper could see him right next to him like some kind of ghost, and he wasn’t sure if it was just his imagination or if he was really there and Dipper was just the only one able to see him. 

This night he went out for a drink with Mabel and her boyfriend, whose name Dipper still couldn’t recall. But honestly, who cared. Mabel would mention the name eventually, Dipper would remember it for a few hours, and Bill would probably make him forget again.  
  
“Not your usual kind of bar,” Dipper said, raising his glass to touch Mabel’s.  
“Derek likes the music here, so he convinced me to come here at least once,” she replied, laughing as the guy next to her gave her a kiss on the cheek.  
Ah, there it was. The name.  
He was a nice guy, and he did have an interesting taste in music. But there wasn’t anything more Dipper could say about him. Almost sad, after all this time they spent together, the three of them. Years even. Wasted time. So much wasted time…  
  
_You really don’t like him, hm?  
_  
Yes. I don’t know why, because he’s nice.  
  
_Maybe it’s because he’s boring._  
  
Maybe.  
  
_Well, not everyone can be as interesting as me, right Pine Tree?_  
  
Oh, shut up Bill.

Dipper smiled.  
“There! You’re smiling again! Whoooo are you thinking of? Tell me!”, Mabel yelled and laughed and hit him in the shoulder.  
  
“Ouch!”, Dipper said, rubbing his shoulder and still smiling, “No one you know, Mabel.”  
  
“But there IS someone! HAH!”  
  
“Maybe. It’s nothing serious.”  
  
_Aw, Pine Tree. You’re hurting my feelings._  
  
I said shut up, idiot.  
  
_Careful what you call me, sapling. Maybe I won’t be in such a good mood later tonight. I can’t wait for you to get home and fall asleep._  
  
Dipper felt a warm rush through his entire body. He really hoped he wasn’t blushing, but no one would see it anyways in the dim lights of this bar. Mabel and Derek left for a dance to a song the guy apparently really liked. Dipper knew the original version. He liked it too. What was played here was a remix people could better dance to. The lyrics were… suggestive. Very much so. 

Dipper chugged down his drink.  
  
_What a nice song. I’d like to dance with you to this one too. Or do other things._  
You’re really impatient today, Bill.  
_Don’t forget that I can force into the mindscape too. Shall I take you right now?_  
Dipper was starting to feel hot. Damn it, Bill.  
_You’re adorable._  
And you’re being an asshole.  
  
The song went on.  
Dipper’s lips moved as he quietly sang along.  
“Now I must admit that I have played a part in the way that things have gotten out of hand,  
but it’s escalated almost to an art, I wanna fix it but I don’t think I can…” 

 _Are you sure it’s not you who is impatient, Pine Tree?  
_  
Dipper began scratching his right arm without noticing.  
  
_You want me really badly right now, don’t you?_  
  
His hands started shivering a little.  
  
_You’re thinking about where we could be alone, aren’t you?  
_  
Dippers eyes went over the dance floor, spotted Mabel and –  
Name forgotten, again.  
He could just tell them he wasn’t feeling well, and go home. But right now, this would take too long. The music, the drinks, the people dancing and moving their bodies together in more or less intimate ways, everything got him fired up and made him want the demon right here, right now.  
  
_That’s sweet sapling, but if I fuck you here they are gonna throw you out, and I don’t know what your sister will have to say about that._  
  
I know, I know.  
  
Even though everything was happening in the mindscape, Dipper would still make obscene noises in real life.  
  
He jumped from the barstool he’d been sitting on and quickly made his way through the moving bodies and drunk teenagers as well as adults. He considered going for the toilet, but then he went outside instead, inhaling fresh air for a moment to see if it will calm him down.  
  
Two long arms trapped his body from behind, but he could only see them, not feel them. He saw Bill placing a soft kiss on his right shoulder. Dipper took a deep breath, wanting to lean into a non-existent touch.  
  
_I’m taking back what I said earlier about how I can’t wait for you to get home._  
Bill had lowered his voice.  
  
_I can’t wait to fuck you in some dark alley because you need me that badly._  
Dipper bit his lip, hard.   
  
He walked away from the club and made sure that no one was there. No one would look here for him, either. And he wouldn’t be gone for long. His world turned grey, and Bill pushed him against the stone cold wall behind him, and this time Dipper could feel it. He groaned and looked at Bill with half open eyes, clouded with lust.  
  
“We have… to be quick”, he breathed out as Bill was already busy placing kisses and bites all over his neck.  
  
“Then suck me off.”  
  
Dipper couldn’t hold back a soft moan. The demon giving him orders like that was exactly what could get him going very quickly. He didn’t mind that he would have to get himself off in this case. This was great. He could keep his voice down better that way, too.   
  
“I thought you were in a hurry?”, Bill said with a grin, ruffling Dippers hair, then yanking on it. Dipper let out a small whimper, then he nodded. Bill usually wanted him to answer questions like that, even if he was just mocking him with them.  
  
“Down with you, then,” the demon whispered into his ear, then pushed him to his knees. Dipper hastily opened up his own belt and tugged down his pants, then Bills. The demons glowing eye stared down at him as if it wanted to devour him whole. Dippers face was flushed, he was panting and began to stroke Bills cock.  
  
Bill apparently had no patience, because his fingers gripped Dippers hair and moved his head forward, starting to thrust into the young mans mouth right away. Dippers muffled moaning was music to the demons ears.  
  
“You don’t know just _how_ much I enjoy to see you like this, Pine Tree”, Bill said with a groan, pushing and pulling in and out of Dippers mouth, who had started to touch himself immediately. Dipper used both of his own hands, fucking himself on his fingers and using the other to pump his cock while sucking Bills. His eyes rolled over in pleasure. He was getting close already. Talk about quick.  
  
After a few minutes Bill suddenly yanked his head back. The grip hurt and dipper whimpered and moaned, his eyes desperately looking up at the demon. Bill licked his lips, and Dipper couldn’t believe how sexy that simple gesture was.  
But Bill was just as fascinated by Dipper. When had a simple human ever been able to turn him on this much?  
  
“Ah—Aaah… B-Bill, please—“  
  
“Shut up and lie down on your back.”  
  
The demon was in the mood to try something new, and why not reward his precious little plaything for always being such a good boy? As expected, Dipper obeyed and got into the position he was told.  
  
“What are you—“  
  
“Didn’t I tell you to shut up? Use your mouth for something better.”  
  
The position Bill took then made Dipper hold his breath. Sixty-nine, really? Bill never lowered himself to do something like this. A hot wave of excitement and pleasure took over Dipper as he took Bill’s dick back into his mouth, and the demon took his.  
  
Oh god.  
Dipper wouldn’t be able to handle this for long.  
  
Trembling and moaning he did his very best to please Bill, but the demons skilled and unnaturally long tongue distracted him from sucking properly. He couldn’t help but buck his hips up, trying to fuck Bills mouth. The demon’s lips curled into a grin. Dippers muffled moaning got louder and louder with every second, his nails dragging along the demons hips just for the sake of holding onto something.  
  
Way too early, he came right into Bills mouth, bucking up his hips a little too hard. Dippers eyes rolled back, moaning with the other’s cock still in his mouth. Bill took it out for a moment to change his position, and to take a good long look at the young mans pleasured face. He then kneeled right above Dippers face, and Dipper understood, starting to suck him off again.  
Bill’s moaning got louder and he gripped Dipper’s hair again, _hard_ , thrusting faster into his mouth. The young man made whimpering sounds and his entire body was still shaking from his own overwhelming orgasm.  
  
“Almost forgot how much you love it when I almost rip out your pretty hair.”  
  
The demon laughed and stared down at him with a manic expression, the kind of face he always made when he was about to come.  
Wide eyed and creepy.  
The stuff nightmares were made off.  
The stuff that turned Dipper on like nothing else ever would.  
And then Bill came, with his Pine Trees name on his lips. 

 


	4. Regret

It was the middle of the night.   
Dipper was asleep.   
Bill wasn’t.   
He never was, demon and all. 

He’d been around the human for quite a while now, and he had noticed how it had started to affect him. He rolled his one eye.   
_Affection_.   
Unbelievable.   
And he sure as hell didn’t like it. But what could he do? His powers were still too weak; he was still not able to invade other people’s dreams. This might take years. He really didn’t have anything better to do than to stay with his admittedly favorite human. 

He was watching him sleep. So sweet, so peacefully. At least that’s what it looked like.  
Bill knew it wasn’t true.   
He’d seen and _done_ enough to know that while Dipper honestly believed the fulfillment of his sick desires made him feel better, he was actually destroying himself. He _made_ Bill destroy him. He had started to ask for more and more ridiculous things, more humiliation, more pain. It didn’t take Bill long to understand that Dipper seemed to be addicted to a certain kind of pain.   
  
Pain, as experienced in the mindscape, seems to be physical, but is mental in reality. At some point he wouldn’t be able to take it anymore. Dipper thought it was fine because it was all in the mindscape, but his body had already started to react, and he had started throwing his barely healthy lifestyle completely away. He wouldn’t be able to keep this up forever. And just recently, Bill himself had started to dislike the situation.   
  
What good was his favorite human if he kept hurting himself like that just to feel alive? And what had made him this way? Was it the possession in his childhood? Was it Weirdmageddon? His sister didn’t seem to have any lasting problems with that. Was it really just that Dipper Pines was a lot more weird than humans usually are?   
  
At first Bill had taken great pleasure in hurting Dipper and fucking him senseless, but this had somehow turned into something he didn’t like anymore. It didn’t feel like _he_ was the one hurting the human, more like Dipper was hurting himself. It didn’t even feel like Bill was the one in control anymore. He was simply fulfilling Pine Trees wishes. It bothered him. He was always supposed to be the one in control. Always. 

He wasn’t able to touch him outside of the mindscape, and for tonight he wouldn’t appear in his dreams anymore. Still, Bill reached out to faintly brush his fingers over the birthmark on Dippers forehead. If it had been a real touch, it would have been a very gentle one. The demon almost couldn’t believe himself, but he didn’t want this stupid human to die.    
  


* * *

 

It took Dipper a while to finally open his eyes. He’d been lying awake in bed for a few hours and didn’t feel like getting up. He had forgotten what day it was, but yesterday had been a tough night. Been drinking too much. It’s been fun. It didn’t cross his mind that it was weird to go out drinking all alone and call it a fun night.   
He groaned and finally sat up straight. A good day to stay in bed, but the growling of his stomach was starting to get on his nerves. And why was Bill ignoring him? Dipper had been trying to talk to him all morning, but the demon didn’t answer.   
  
He got up from his bed, went to the bathroom and didn’t do much more than quickly splash some cold water into his face, drying it with his sleeping shirt. He didn’t really look at his reflection. Maybe he should have. The dark circles under his eyes had become worse over the past few weeks. His hair had become too long, almost touching his shoulders, and he hadn’t bothered to shave in a while, either. He didn’t notice. After all, he forgot about everything that wasn’t really important.   
  
What _was_ important then, again? 

“Where are you?”   
Still no answer. It bothered Dipper.   
  
Bill had told him before that it would probably take years for him to be able to show up in other people’s dreams again. So Dipper was the only human being he could be around. And he knew for a fact that Bill hated his own dimension. He had told him once.   
“Two-dimensional, utterly boring, nothing is happening there at all and whatever lives in it doesn’t have emotions that could be toyed around with like yours.”   
  
His words. Bill didn’t have much of a choice than to stay around him.   
So why didn’t he talk to him now?   
  
Dipper opened the fridge and sighed deeply. It was pretty much empty. No choice but to go and buy something. Maybe he should get Chinese take-out? A single Pit-Cola was left in the fridge. It would do to stop his stomach from growling, for now. 

When he went back to his room, he could clearly feel that Bill was watching. 

“Why are you ignoring me?” Dipper asked, gathering the clothes he had been wearing two days ago. Yesterdays clothes smelled too much of smoke, but these were still fine. He’ll wash his stuff in the afternoon, or tomorrow. Probably. Eventually.   
  
“Bill, seriously. I know you’re here. What’s wrong? Angry at your own pitiful existence or something?” 

Bill was indeed watching, and the mocking comment made him furious. Usually he would have dragged the other into the mindscape right now, giving him a good lesson on why he was in no position to talk to him like that. But he knew by now that this was just Dippers way of getting his attention, and eventually the pain he desires so much.   
Not today.   
Bill decided that for one day, he simply wanted to watch and observe.

“Fine, be a sulking stupid nacho then.” 

Bill wanted to strangle him. 

Dipper heard someone knock on his door. He quickly put on his shirt. The doorbell was broken and Dipper had forgotten to fix it. He didn’t know for how long already. But did it matter? Hardly anyone ever came here. This was probably just someone from the house management, as always.   
But it wasn’t.   
He opened the door.   
It was Mabel.

“Goodness, look at you!” she said, furrowing her eyebrows and crossing her arms, “Dipper Pines, what the hell have you been doing lately?”   
  
Dipper was too surprised to form any kind of answer. Mabel never showed up just like that, she usually--   
  
“You didn’t answer my texts for weeks! I even tried to call you! I was so worried, and so was mum by the way!”   
  
Oh.   
They had been trying to call him, too?   
He hadn’t noticed. Had he been in the mindscape too much? Or…   
  
“Sorry, maybe I forgot to turn my phone back on.” he said.   
  
“For THREE WEEKS?”  
Damn, had it really been that long?   
  
Dipper sighed and pushed his hair back. It was too long and had started to cover his eyes a little.   
“Look, Mabel, Im sorry, I just…”   
  
“Just what? Look at the MESS you’ve made here! There’s clothes and food lying around everywhere and it looks like you haven’t cleaned anything for the past two months!”   
She walked in without asking and closed the door behind her.  
  
“Dipper Pines”, she said with a warning tone to her voice, “You will tell me what is bothering you, right now.”   
  
He stared at her.   
Bothering?   
Nothing was bothering him.   
  
“Nothing, Mabel, I’ve just been lazy is all.” He said.   
  
“When was the last time you went to university?” She asked, looking really angry. The kind of angry look when she just _knew_ that her twin brother was lying to her. Dipper started to scratch his left arm. Mabel couldn’t help but notice that both of his arms looked sore and reddish.  
  
“Dipper...”, her tone changed, a lot more calm now,  “Please, I’m really just worried about you. Let me… let me help. Something happened, right? Did someone hurt you? Did you lose something important? Do I have to beat someone up? Just tell me, please. You know I’ve always got your back, whatever it is.”   
  
“I don’t need help. I’m fine. I’ve just been a little too carefree and should probably clean up here.” 

_You’re definitely not okay, Pine Tree, but sure, keep telling yourself that._

Not now, Bill. 

Dipper sighed.   
“Look Mabel, I’m really sorry. Studying and work has been getting a bit much. I guess I just need some time off or something.”   
  
“Then why didn’t you tell me sooner?”, she asked.   
Sad eyes.   
Dipper couldn’t handle those.   
  
“I didn’t want to bother you, I mean, you’re living a happy live with your boyfriend—“  
  
“Are you serious right now?”   
He blinked. Mabel suddenly looked furious. Did he say something wrong? 

_Oh boy, you just_ **_really_ ** _fucked up._

Shut up already!

“I broke up with Derek a month ago! You were at my place, listening to my crying for HOURS! Dipper, what the hell?!”   
  
Oh shit.   
No wait, how?   
How could he just forget about something like that?   
The guys name was one thing, but this?  
  
But no matter how hard he tried, he only remembered little bits from that day. He knew that it had happened, but it felt like he hadn’t really been there. As if he’d been watching this scene of his life instead of playing it. 

“I… I’m sorry Mabel, I didn’t forget, I just wasn’t thinking for a moment—“   
  
“You haven’t been thinking about anything at all for a LONG time now, Dipper!”   
  
“Mabel, I—“   
  
“You know what, do whatever you want and call me when my brother is back.” 

_If he will ever be back, that is._

“I said **shut up, Bill!”**

Mabel’s hand had already been on the door handle, but now she stood frozen in place.   
“What… did you just say?”  
  
Dippers face was nearly as white as the wall.   
Shit.   
He had said that out loud.   
He’d been getting so used to talking to Bill out loud lately that he didn’t pay attention.   
Mabel looked at him with a truly horrified expression. He started shaking.   
  
“I… I was just talking to myself.”   
  
“I’m not dumb, Dipper. Or are you even Dipper? Are you Bill right now?” 

_You wish, Shooting Star. You wish._

“No! No I’m not, it’s me Mabel! Bill doesn’t exist anymore, you know that!”   
  
“Then WHO were you talking to?!” she cried, looking really scared. She grabbed an umbrella that was lying around near the door with one hand, the other still on the handle.   
  
“Tell me something only Dipper would know. _Now,”_ she said. Her hands were visibly trembling, but her voice sounded like that of a movie heroine ready to kill.   
Dipper panicked. For a moment he considered asking Bill for help, making him remember something that only he could know, because his mind was blank and he couldn’t think of a single thing. 

_I won’t help you._

Dipper bit his lip.   
When did it get so hard to remember things, anything at all?   
Quick, something…   
  
“W-when we were in 2nd grade, on photo day, you were looking really great but that dumb girl put a piece of chewing gum on your hair. You… you were crying but then I had the really stupid idea to just shave both our hair off. You laughed, we did it, and we took the picture together. Mum was furious, and Dad was laughing his ass off. We were grounded for three weeks. But it was…” , Dipper had to pause.   
  
His eyes were wide and filled with tears.   
What was happening? Why did it feel like these weren’t even his own memories? Why was it so hard to recall any real feelings about this?  
  
“It was… _It was fun_ …”, he choked out, tears starting to run down his cheeks.   
Mabel lowered the umbrella she had pointed at her brother, and then it fell to the ground. She slowly came closer and pulled Dipper into a hug.   
  
“Dipper, I’m sorry…”, she whispered.   
  
“No, no… I’m the one who should be, I’ve been terrible, I don’t deserve to—“   
  
“Sssshh. Shut up now. It’s not your fault. But… but Dipper, please. If… If Bill is bothering you or messing with your head, then…” 

_Am I, Pine Tree? Go on, tell her._

Dipper flinched.   
“No Mabel, he’s not really here. I’ve… I’ve just been thinking too much lately.”   
  
His sister looked hurt.   
“I want to believe you Dipper, I really do. Will you be okay?”   
  
“Definitely. Don’t worry Mabel.”   
  
She sighed.   
“I have to get to work now. Please tell mum that you’re okay, too.”  
  
“Will do.” 

 

 


	5. Change

Once Mabel left, Dipper had the worst mental breakdown in years.  
  
He was sitting on the floor and had put his shaking arms around his legs, drawing them closer to his body, feeling as if this position could protect him from whatever had made him cry. He didn’t even know. He didn’t understand. He hated it. He _hated_ that he just wasn’t able to understand this!  
  
“B-Bill. Please talk to me. Take me to the mindscape. Please…”  
Hot tears left stains in the shirt he dried them with. If Bill would make him fall asleep, he’d be able to stop the tears. Everything would stop. Everything…  
“Please!!”  
He screamed.  
  
And it happened.  
The world went grey.  
Dipper took a deep breath and relaxed a bit.  
The mindscape clearly comforted him. 

“Bill…?” he asked weakly.  
The demon was standing right there, but he was oddly quiet, as he had been all day except for when he had interfered while he was talking to Mabel. _Interfered._ He’d done that on purpose, hadn’t he?

Bill still didn’t say anything. He was simply looking down on him. 

“Bill, I need you. Now. Please. I need…”  
Dipper got up from the colorless floor and came closer to the demon. He cupped Bill’s face with both of his hands and kissed him. Bill didn’t react at first, but then he pushed Dipper away. The young man looked confused.  
  
“W-what do you want me to do? I’ll do anything, please, just tell me what—“  
  
“ **Stop.** ” 

Dipper froze. He expected to get beaten up or something, expected Bill to tell him what he’d done wrong and then punish him for it, something like that. Something you would expect from a horrible demon that had once tried to cause the apocalypse. But Bill didn’t do anything at all.  
  
“As much as I love having _fun_ with you, this isn’t fun anymore,” the demon said, his voice colder than ever. Dippers eyes widened. He could feel Bill’s fingers under his chin, lifting up his face so he would have to look at him. But what he saw in the demons face was no lust, no thirst for blood, not even hate, nothing like that.  
It was concern. 

“Pine Tree, you keep coming to me whenever something in the real world goes wrong. You want me to wreck you almost every day so you’ll simply forget about everything and can go on pretending none of it ever happened. You forgot about the fact that Shooting Star’s relationship went downhill because you literally asked me to _fuck it out of your brain_ right after. Your words. Because you didn’t want to deal with your sister being sad.” 

“My real world problems got _nothing_ to do with you!” Dipper yelled, feeling his body shaking in fear. Not the kind of fear he liked. It was the crippling fear of losing the one thing that made him feel alive at all. Losing Bill. 

“Really, Pine Tree? You need the pain and humiliation that I can give you the same way other humans need drugs and alcohol. And guess what, I’m _tired_ of giving it to you. I’m a _demon_. I play by my own rules, not by yours.” 

“We had a deal!” 

“You said it yourself, sapling. The deal could be read as only fulfilling your wishes once. The deal has no meaning anymore.”

“You can’t go to anyone else! You told me yourself that you can’t!” 

Bill’s eye narrowed.  
“Even my own boring dimension is more interesting than you right now, Pine Tree.”  
  
Something was off. Bill had expected the other to get desperate, begging him to stay.  
But if anything, Dipper was getting angry.  

“So, I’m just not interesting anymore, huh?”  
Dipper was actually _laughing._ It seemed surreal to Bill that this was the same innocent kid that fucked over his plans for world domination 8 years ago.  
  
“How about a new deal, then? “ Dipper asked, smiling innocently. 

“You’re suggesting a deal to _me_?” 

“You can let me wake up, but you have to stay within my mind and talk to me for the rest of the day so I won’t completely freak out. In return, I will do something to surprise you. Something to spark up your interest.” 

Bill hated to admit it, but he was curious.  
“All of that just so I’ll stay for a day to comfort you? You need help, kid.” 

“I’m not a kid anymore, Cipher.”  
  
_You are._ Bill kept the thought to himself. To him, it seemed like Pine Tree never really grew up. He had changed, yes, but he was still a child. 

“If that’s all. Sure,” Bill said, his right hand burning with the familiar blue flames, “Surprise me, Pine Tree. It’s a **deal**.”

Dipper seemed to relax and smiled a little.  
He shook on it.  
And he woke up right away.  
  
_I’ll just make myself comfortable in your head then. You have the the entire rest of the day to surprise me._

Oh, I don’t think it will take me that long. 

Dipper smiled. With the demon being inside of Dippers mind, Bill wouldn’t be able to watch what he was doing. He’d only be able to hear and read his thoughts. As long as Dipper managed to not focus his thoughts on the task, Bill would soon enough have the surprise of his lifetime. And Dipper was actually very good at controlling his thoughts. Otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to hide _this_ from Bill all these months.  
  
He got up from the floor and almost fell over. His body was weak and exhausted. Oh, right. He hadn’t eaten anything yet. 

_At this rate you’ll die before the day ends._

I know what I’m doing, thanks.  
  
He went to his room. There, in the corner, was a chest that once belonged to Mabel. A lot of her stuff was still in there. It was meant for childhood memories, old stuffed animals, photos of the past few years, postcards from Gravity Falls they got every year. Stuff like that. A treasure chest, kind of. Dipper opened it and started looking for something, careful to focus his thoughts on something else entirely. And boy, did he focus on that _something else_.  

_Stop thinking about having sex with me._

Dipper smiled.  
  
Why, does it bother you? 

_I will make you regret about trying to manipulate me into what you want. You will do whatever I want, NOT the other way around._

Uh-huh. And how exactly will you make me regret it? I can’t wait. Also, did you just admit that I can seduce you into having sex with me? I thought you just liked to hurt me, but you’re actually into me, aren’t you?

There was silence for a moment. 

 _Maybe you can surprise me, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stay. Wasn’t part of the deal. Never thought I’d say that, but I’m really done with you. I like my humans better with a little more emotion and—_  
  
Less like you?  
  
Dipper grinned.  
  
He had found what he was looking for. It was a gun, but not just any gun. It looked a lot like the memory gun that had erased the demon out of his great uncles head, 8 years ago. But this one worked a little… differently. If it worked at all. They had never tried it out before. There hadn’t been any reason for it.

He held it up right to his own head.  
  
“Surprise, Bill,“ Dipper whispered, and pulled the trigger.

 


	6. Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a monster for writing this.  
> I'm also putting a warning here for implied rape/noncon. 
> 
> "Control" by Halsey was an inspiration for this chapter and gave it it's title.  
> I recommend listening to that song while reading.

“Surprise, Bill.” 

Bill’s eye widened. How?  
How had this stupid, ordinary human been able to hide this from him just by focusing on other thoughts? And since _when_ had he been able to control his thoughts so well?! 

**_What have you done?!_**

Dipper did not answer.  
Something was happening to the young man, he was still awake, but he was lying on the floor with a seemingly terrible headache, making pained noises every now and then. Bill didn’t understand, and it made him furious. Dippers mind seemed to alter itself in some way, some kind of force within it changed. Things only a dream demon would notice. 

**_What was that gun? Are you trying to erase me again? You fool!_ **

Dipper seemed to laugh. Bill couldn’t see it, still in his mind, and he decided to leave right now. There was nothing he could do to prevent Pine Tree from destroying himself, but he was fucking done taking any part in it. 

And that was when he realized.  
He couldn’t leave.  
There was no way out of this mind, not anymore.

**_You will tell me what you’ve done, right now!_ **

Bill’s eye went red, his body black, he changed his form to his usual triangular shape and then to a gigantic six-armed pyramid within Dippers mind. He tried to use his every bit of energy to break out of here. But nothing worked. Some kind of force field, opposing to his own energy, was keeping him in. The demon’s body started to shake out of anger, and something else he couldn’t quite recognize. 

_**That’s it.** _

Bill used his privilege of being inside Dippers mind to make the young man fall asleep, dragging him into the mindscape. _Literally._ He grabbed Dipper by his hair, dragging him over the grey floor, then smashed him against the wall of his apartment, again, and again, and one more time. Making him bleed. Getting even more furious remembering that the human _enjoyed_ this. 

“You think you can outsmart me, Pine Tree? Do you know who you’re dealing with? **Do you know what you’re dealing with?!** ”  
The demon screamed at him, throwing the other to the floor and stepping on him, hard. His one eye stared down at Dipper, and every other human being would have been intimidated, scared to death, begging for their life.  
  
But Dipper Pines laughed. 

“You tell me, Bill.”  
  
Suddenly, Bill was forced back into the human form he had picked out of Dippers dreams, and the demon fell to his knees. He was too confused to even struggle. He did not understand what was happening, at all. It was almost as if he had… lost control. Completely. Bill’s eye was wide and he now knew what the strange new feeling might have been.  
Fear?

“What have you done?” the demon asked one more time. He still couldn’t believe any of this. He couldn’t believe that any human would be capable of doing something like this. 

Dipper smiled weakly. It was a sad smile, pitiful even.  
“You said you didn’t like how you weren’t in control anymore, didn’t you, Bill? Well, here’s the thing: You never were. You underestimated me greatly. Did you really think that after all these years I have spent obsessing over you, I wouldn’t be well prepared for your return? Did you think that after I’ve beaten you within the mindscape when I was only 12 years old, I wouldn’t be able to perfectly control my thoughts 8 years later?” 

No. That couldn’t be. No one had ever been able to do something like that, no one… 

“The gun is similar to the memory gun that erased you back then, but not quite the same. Great uncle Ford and me build this one together after Grunkle Stan had recovered his memories. It surprised me that you thought I was able to convince Ford just like that. You, of all beings out there, should know his paranoia very well. He wouldn’t shut up about you coming back until we created this.”

A picture of the gun Dipper had shot himself in the head with earlier appeared right behind him. 

“We came to the conclusion that erasing you out of someone’s head wasn’t save enough. So this gun was made to _trap_ you inside a person’s mind instead.” 

Bill stared at the young man in disbelief. He was still on his knees and unable to move. Unable to change his form. Unable to do anything at all. Dippers mind control was stronger than his own, something no human had ever been able to do. And Bill came to the horrible realization that everything he had just been told was true. He had not been in control from the start. Dipper had always just manipulated him into doing whatever he wanted, and now he was able to _force_ him. 

This couldn’t be true, right?  
He was an all-powerful demon, a being of pure energy with no weaknesses, right?  
But this was the mind of Dipper Pines. And he couldn’t leave.  
He had made a grave mistake.  
He should have left when he still had the chance.  
He should not have agreed to the deal. 

No, no, no, **NO**! 

“Y’know," Dipper sighed, slowly walking around the demon in circles, “I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to do this. Because I really prefer you being the dangerous, sadistic and bloodthirsty demon. The one who forces _me_ into submission. I would’ve never expected you to become so soft. What was that about, Bill? Did you actually want to _help_ me, by signaling Mabel and then leaving me?”  
He laughed a little.  
“The gun wasn’t meant to be used for this, but who cares. It’s too late now.” 

“You’re really not much of a human anymore, kid.”  
   
He didn’t know what else to say. This was utterly wrong. Not only had Dipper completely turned around the situation between them, he also correctly interpreted Bill’s every move. When did his actions become so easy to read? When did _he_ , the demon of nightmares and master of manipulation, become the victim of manipulation?

Dipper was now right in front of him. There was an almost gentle smile on his face. He brought both his hands to Bill’s cheeks, and kissed him tenderly. The demon wished nothing more than to be able to change out of this form, but Dippers pure mind-force didn’t allow him to even lift a single finger.   
  
“You started to care about me, didn’t you?” Dipper asked, “That’s sweet. No, really. I’m kind of glad you do. I don’t know if what I’m feeling about you is love, or just a messed up obsession. But what’s the difference, really?

Bill’s look was deadly.  
“Don’t talk to me like that. I don’t really give a shit about you, Dipper.” 

“Oh? No affectionate calling me ‘Pine Tree’ or ‘Sapling’ anymore? You’re hurting my feelings.” 

“I will find some way out of this. And I will make you regret this. I _will_ find a way to kill you, Dipper Pines, and it won’t be the last thing I do. I’ll torture your soul even after your death. You really shouldn’t mess with things you don’t fully understand.” 

“I don’t even understand myself, so I really don’t care, Bill.”  
  
Dipper knelt down in front of him. He started to kiss the demons neck and softly let his hands wander over the others chest. Bill inhaled sharply. This was really not how things were supposed to be.  
  
“Never thought I’d see you like this,” Dipper said, his hands moving to Bill’s crotch and starting to rub him through his pants, “I like it. Not what I prefer, but enjoyable anyways.” The young mans voice was so cold, so empty of every emotion, and yet there was a certain weird sadness to it. Bill closed his one eye. This wasn’t happening, right?  
This couldn’t be happening!  
  
Suddenly, he felt himself move. He didn’t move on his own, it was the other controlling him.  
_Like a puppet._  
Oh, the irony.  
Bill lied down on his back, lifting his hips and slowly taking off his pants, all while Dipper placed kisses all over his chest.  
  
Bill’s body started to shake a little, but that was actually him struggling at full force against what was happening. It was pathetic that even when he tried to fight back with everything he got, he couldn’t even put a scratch on the absolute control Dipper had over his own mind.  
  
Dipper rolled his hips against Bill’s, a moan on his lips. He pulled the demon into another kiss and Bill couldn’t help but start feeling aroused, too. Fuck. He didn’t want this, because he was a demon, and demons _never_ succumbed to the wants of others. But he had become somewhat addicted to his touch, addicted even to this pathetic human form Dipper had dreamed up for him, addicted to the way the young man moaned and screamed his name when he fucked him senseless.  
  
“Stop,” Bill breathed out, hating himself for how _fucking weak_ he sounded.  
Dipper smiled a little, softly kissing his cheek. Bill hated it.  
  
“I won’t stop controlling you unless you’re willing to dominate me like you always do. If you don’t want that, I’ll make you.”  
  
Bill couldn’t even decide what was worse. Being completely under control while doing this was horrible, but he honestly didn’t want to take action right now, either. He felt utterly defeated.  
  
“Do whatever you want,” Bill said, and closed his eye. 

He had lost. 


	7. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone reading this!  
> I'd like to take a moment and thank all you for your comments and kudos. I really appreciate them, especially because I've never written and uploaded any fanfiction in english before. It's not my first language, so I hope there aren't too many mistakes.

* * *

 

It was late in the evening when she finally went home from work. Cold wind made her shiver and stuff her hands into the pockets of her coat. Her cell phone was in the left one. Mabel was completely lost in thoughts. Just what exactly had happened? Was Bill really there? But he wouldn’t be able to possess Dipper unless he agreed to it with a deal, right? Ford had once explained this to her. She had asked him a lot about Bill.   
Just in case.   
Just in… what case?   
  
Mabel hated herself for biting on her perfectly manicured nails. Damn it. If Bill was possessing Dipper, then— but no, that couldn’t be. Bill wouldn’t have been able to dig out their childhood memory in such a short amount of time. That, too, was a thing Ford had told her. Bill can get any memory out of a persons mind, but it does take him a while, especially when possessing someone. Also, Dippers eyes looked normal. No possession, then?   
  
Just earlier, Mabel had talked to her mother, asking if Dipper had called back.   
Of course he hadn’t.  
Liar.   
  
“What are you trying to hide?”, she murmured.   
  
Then she took out her cell phone. Sure, she had no idea what was actually happening, and maybe Dipper was really just seeing ghosts. But that wouldn’t make the situation any better. It was way too risky. Also, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she had kind of seen it coming. This was Dipper they were talking about. He wasn’t able to hide anything from her, no matter how smart he thought he was.   
  
“Hi. Where are you at the moment? I need your help. I’m not sure if it’s serious or not, but I won’t sit around and wait until something really bad happens.”  
  
She paused.  
“Actually, not me… _Dipper_ needs your help.” 

 

* * *

 

Dippers mind had become nothing but a terrible, empty void.   
  
Bill asked himself how much time had passed since he got trapped in here, but there was no answer. Could have happened yesterday, or a few hours ago, or months ago. His sense of time was gone because he couldn’t get out of here, and he also couldn’t see what Dipper was doing outside.   
He had changed back into his triangular shape. Not that it mattered. He would be forced into the half-human form again sooner or later. As much as he used to love what they did, he was now absolutely grossed out. Just recently Dipper had dreamed up a copy of Bill, so he could have the most messed up version of a threesome. Disgusting. And it made Bill furious that the idea had not been his own, back when he still had enjoyed it.   
  
“You hate the fact that we’re not so different after all, don’t you?” Dipper had asked him once. And he was right. That was exactly what Bill hated so much. 

Being all alone with too much time to think, in a world where nothing happened at all, Bill thought that maybe this wasn’t so different from his own dimension after all. But it still didn’t comfort him.   
_Comfort._   
A demon needing comfort.   
Hilarious.   
He wanted to rip his own eye out for even thinking about something like that. 

It was not like there was absolutely no way out of this. He had tried quite a few times, but the difficult thing about it was that he couldn’t risk Dipper to notice it. Dippers control over his mind was much weaker when he was fully asleep. It was still ridiculously strong, and Bill would never understand how he managed to do that. The demon was glad to at least be able to hide his own thoughts. Most of them, at least.  
  
Whenever Dipper was asleep – and satisfied - the demon tried to take over. If he’d be able to possess him, he could try to make Dipper kill himself in order to get out of his mind. The problem was that this was his only idea, and since he didn’t know how exactly the weapon that had trapped him in here worked, it might all go horribly wrong. If Dipper died, Bill should have a chance to escape in just the right moment. The moment right before the humans brain would die, to be exact. But he might also fuck it up and die along with Dipper.   
  
He might also never succeed in possessing him at all. Up until now, Dipper had never let his guard down, not even in his sleep. He was still awake right now, but Bill didn’t bother trying to talk to him. Didn’t want to, either. The fact that Dipper was awake was all he could tell. The human had started to hide everything from him, so Bill wasn’t even able to get a small glimpse of what he was doing, or who he might be talking to. 

“If it helps you to know, I’m not talking to anyone at all most of the time.”

Shit.   
Bill hadn’t even noticed him there.   
  
The mindscape changed to what looked like Dippers room. Because Dipper was too lazy to imagine anything else than the last thing he saw before falling asleep. He needed to focus his thoughts on more important things, after all.   
  
“Don’t I even get some kind of hello? Rude.”

A nice spit in his stupid fucking face was all Bill really wanted to give him.  
He noticed that he was still in his triangle form. 

“I’m not in the mood. It was a boring, ordinary day. But I thought maybe a little chat with you before going to sleep would be nice,” Dipper said, yawning and stretching himself. 

“And what makes you think I want to talk to you?”, Bill spat out. 

“Got anything better to do?”   
Dipper smiled and tilted his head. 

“Yes. Plotting to kill you and everything you love in the worst way I can imagine.”

“Including yourself?” 

Bill’s eye twitched.   
“Shut up. You don’t love me. And I sure as hell don’t want you to, either. This isn’t love. Not sure if you’re even capable of love, as messed up as you are.”   
Damn it. What was he saying? He should have ignored the comment. 

Dipper smiled. The same sad smile Bill had seen so often now. It was this exact expression that showed the true emotion behind everything he was doing. His eyes spoke of emotional numbness, with a glimpse of sad memories. The ghost of someone who died a long time ago.  
It was a smile Bill had learned to fear.   
  
“Do you think a man who hates himself this much is able to love someone else?”, Dipper asked. He sat down on the colorless bed, crossing his legs. 

“If you’re looking for pity you definitely summoned the wrong demon.”    
  
Bill had lowered his glance. Not _this_ again. He cursed himself for actually feeling some real affection towards Dipper. And no matter what he said, it seemed like the human was able to look right through him. Could this situation become any worse? Why did he still care, even after everything that had happened, after everything Dipper had done to him? 

“Y’know, I really miss you calling me Pine Tree. Didn’t expect you to act so heartbroken.” 

“I am **not** heartbroken. Whatever makes you think I have a heart.”   
How dare he talk to him like that. 

He suddenly felt himself change into a different form. The tiniest bit of fear came over him, along with the change. The form was human.   
  
“I thought you weren’t in the mood, but looks like you can’t go a single day without giving in to your thirst”, he growled.   
  
“I’m still not in the mood.” Dipper answered, confusing the other.   
  
Bill then noticed that this human shape was a bit different than his usual one. He had two eyes, and he didn’t look… intimidating, not at all. He was about the same height as Dipper now, and he was wearing boxers and a shirt, just like him. Bill moved to the bed. Not on his own, of course. Dipper was pulling the strings.  
  
“I hate you”, Bill whispered as he was forced to lie down on the bed and put his arms around Dipper, drawing him close in an affectionate manner. The little shit was mocking him. Maybe he deserved it. For having any stupid, unnecessary, useless human-like emotions at all! 

“Mmmmhm”, Dipper hummed, placing a soft kiss on his cheek, “Sure.” 

“You’ve really become a monster, congratulations.” 

“Takes one to know one.” 

Bill didn’t want to complain too much. Dipper could always change his mind, and he really wasn’t up for that. The human form he had right now was pathetic. So weak. Vulnerable. It made him feel even more like an open book to the other. Should he just give up and play the part? 

Dipper looked like he was half asleep. He was lying on Bill, his head resting on the demons chest. Bill noticed that he was free to move again. He sighed. This was pure cruelty. If this guy were a demon, he’d be exceptionally good at his job. Lost in thoughts, Bill started to play with the others hair, twirling the messy little curls in his fingers.   
  
“Kiss me”, Dipper suddenly said, looking up to him. If he really wanted a kiss, he could just force him to do it. But that was obviously not what Dipper wanted right now.   
  
“No.”   
Bill looked away. No, he wouldn’t.  
  
“You’re scared.”   
  
“No.”   
  
“Then do it.”   
  
The demon didn’t dare to look at him. Was Dipper making him feel this? He could control everything in here, maybe he could even influence his emotions? The desire to gently and passionately kiss him, to hold him in his arms and listen to the humans calm and steady heartbeat until he truly fell asleep -   
It was right there, but was it his own?  
  
“Fuck you”, Bill whispered, finally looking at him.   
There was that smile again.   
  
“Not today.” 

And they kissed.


	8. Breaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Violence and Rape/Non-Con.   
> (I'm so sorry for this.)
> 
> By the way, I made a playlist with a song for each chapter up until now:  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYC037A5lIqUO7o8SfTNN-dSzHwvQwTHy  
> 

Silence.   
So close.   
He was so close to freedom, so close to taking over his body.   
  
Dipper had finally let his guard down a little. Not completely, but it could be enough. But did Bill really want to kill him? He didn’t know. It didn’t matter. And there probably wasn’t any other way. He needed to get out of here somehow, for his own sake, and for Dipper’s sake, too. After all these months he had spent with him, all the despair he’d seen in his eyes and the way he had watched the human cling to his last bits of humanity and throwing them away in the next second – Bill had seen enough. He was convinced that Dipper Pines would be better off dead. And now he had the chance to end it all. 

So close. 

Bill concentrated every bit of energy he had left to break Dippers mind control. And it was starting to work. The mindscape changed to a different shape, changed to weird shapes, runes and bits of numbers floating around in the demons own mind, a silent explosion of thoughts from outside of this universe.   
  
He almost had him.   
Just a little bit longer, just a little bit more. Convincing himself again and again that no matter what he might or might not feel for Dipper, he needed to get out of here.   
  
_He’s better of dead, Bill.  
You’re the only one who can end his pitiful existence.   
You’re basically just trying to help him._   
  
Believing this was a lot harder than he thought it would be. Where did all of his anger go? The threats to make Dipper’s death as miserable as possible and torture his soul, what about them? Bill didn’t feel like doing any of that. He just wanted to make this quick.   
  
Very slowly, Bill opened his eyes.   
Dipper’s eyes.   
_Finally._   
  
The moon shined through the window into the small room, making it a little easier for Bill to see. Human eyes were truly low quality. Carefully, still adjusting to the real human body, he got up from the bed. He had to be quick, and he had to be quiet. Dipper was still fully asleep and there was no sign that he had noticed what was happening. But he knew by now that the young mans mind control was nothing to be toyed with.   
  
What now? Looking for a knife in the kitchen? Bill remembered that Dipper didn’t own any really sharp knifes. He didn’t need them because he never cooked. What about the sleeping pills he usually took? But would too many of them be deadly or not? 

The ticking of the clock on the wall made him feel a little uneasy.   
  
_I’m going to make you feel more than just a little uneasy if you don’t stop right now._

Fuck.   
Dipper was conscious.   
No more time to think.   
  
Bill panicked and reached for the next best thing he could possibly kill this body with – a cutter from Dippers writing desk. But as soon as he had in his hands, he felt his control getting weaker and weaker, and the body slowly stopped obeying him. Bill desperately tried to fight back. The arm he was holding the cutter with was shaking as he tried to bring it closer to Dippers heart. So close. He had to. He had to…! 

_Stop, Bill._

“SHUT THE HELL UP!”, Bill screamed, and right in the moment Dipper seemed to hesitate, he stabbed him with full force. 

But he missed the heart.   
Dipper had _made_ him miss.  
The cutter audibly landed on the floor.  

_Thanks for that one, but I’m going to take over now._

“No you won’t…”, Bill coughed out, feeling his control slip away, reminding him of the nightmare when he first had lost it. He could still turn this around. He wouldn’t give up just like that. His vessel started to shake as they both struggled for dominance. Bill managed to throw himself against the wall and put both hands around his neck, nails digging into the skin as he tried to strangle himself. Inflicting real pain to Dippers body made the human hesitate to take it back. But this wouldn’t do. He needed something else, something more effective, something faster, he needed – 

The window. 

**_No! Don’t you dare!_ **

Bill managed to make a step towards the window, and another one, and one more. Gritting his teeth at the pain in his stomach from the wound and from the hands he still tried to strangle himself with. So close! He threw the body against the window.   
A cracking sound.   
One more time.   
Almost.   
His right hand was still on Dippers neck.   
The left elbow crashed into the glass, again and again.   
Almost…!   <

**_STOP!_ **

He jumped, and with him Dippers body through the breaking glass. 

 

* * *

 

Mabel sat in the waiting room of the hospital. Her tears had stopped falling about half an hour ago, but she didn’t feel any better from crying. Her fingers were tightly clutched around her cell phone. Her parents were on the way. Mabel was only here first because the neighbor girl who had seen Dipper throw himself from the 4th floor happened to know the twins. She had called an ambulance on Dipper and also given them Mabel’s address. So she had been the first they had called. Might also have been because their parents hadn’t picked up their phone right away.  
  
The other day she had told Ford that she didn’t want to wait until something really bad happened, and now something really bad had happened. 

Her phone rang.   
She felt almost too weak to hold it up to hear ear.   
  
“Hi. I assume you’ve read my text.”   
Her voice was broken.   
  
“Mabel, dear, I’m so sorry. I will be there tomorrow. I just wasn’t finished with… No, forget it, that’s not important right now. Please stay strong. Are your parents there?”  
Ford sounded kind of tired. He probably hadn’t slept much ever since Mabel had told him that Bill might be back.   
  
“They are on the way.”   
  
“I promise you, I will be there as soon as I can. And we will solve this. There’s many ways. We defeated Bill before, and—“   
  
“And we’ll beat him again.”   
  
Mabel smiled, at least for a second. She needed to remind herself how lucky they were. After all, her brother could have been dead. 

 

* * *

 

_He could have been dead._

A familiar nothingness of grey, white and black greeted Bill. His form was that of an ordinary human, the same form Dipper had caressed and kissed so lovingly not long ago. Now these wrists were in shackles, hanging from the ceiling on invisible chains. Bill didn’t bother to struggle, or move at all. Naked, on his knees and with his arms hanging in the air, he thought about just how sweet death must be for any human. 

“I didn’t think you would do it.”   
Dipper was sitting cross-legged on the floor, right in front of him. Instead of looking down on him, he did the exact opposite. His expression was sad, and cold. It was much more unsettling than any sadistic grin or laughter could ever be. 

“I thought you’d understand me,” the young man went on, “Understand that I need you. That I love you. Everything could still be like it was before you decided that you want to leave me. You could have simply stayed and accepted it. You always loved messing me up, why is it any different now just because you’ve become aware of the fact that you’re not in control? You could have just waited. I’ll die anyways, one day. What’s a human lifespan to you?”

Bill gritted his teeth.   
Of course he could have done that. It would have been so much easier. 

“I’m actually flattered. I mean, I know you kind of did this because you care about me.” Dipper slowly got up from the floor. He came closer. Bill shivered. He could feel that the human wasn’t really sad, or disappointed, or any of the emotions he was acting out right now.   
  
No, Dipper was absolutely furious. 

He gently cupped Bill’s face with both of his hands, forcing him to look up. The demon was still gritting his teeth, and his expression was nothing but pure hatred. Defeated, but still so defiant. 

“You can’t keep this up forever. You need to stop,” Bill finally said.   
  
“Say, do you still think pain is hilarious?” Dipper asked, completely ignoring the demon’s words.   
  
He was looking for signs of weakness in Bill’s eyes. Just the fact that he _had_ two eyes right now made the demon feel even weaker than when he was in his usual half-human, half-demon form. Dipper stroked Bill’s hair for a moment, then suddenly yanked on it forcefully.   
Bill took a sharp breath, but otherwise he made no noise.   
  
“Because I do, Bill. Back then I didn’t understand what you meant. But when you’re not able to feel anything else at all, then a little pain is _incredible_. That’s why you like it so much, right? You don’t really get to feel anything unless you possess a human body, so of course you’d be thrilled over pain. Just like me.” 

“You’re too weak and scared of getting hurt in real life. That’s why you’re obsessed with me. Obsessed with the mindscape itself, because everything feels real but isn’t,”  Bill replied with a pained expression, “You probably went downhill after you build the gun with Sixer, realizing that these messed up dreams of yours could one day become a reality if you use this weapon. I get it, Pine Tr— _Dipper_. You really don’t have to explain it to me. But it’s still affecting you. You think you’re on the safe side as long as everything happens in here, but you’re wrong.” 

“ _Affecting_ me? I’m in hospital and I don’t even know how many of my bones are broken. Also, there’s a stab wound near my stomach. But thanks for being _so worried_ about me. I’ll return the favour.”   
  
Dipper smiled, and effectively killed off everything else Bill still wanted to say.   
The demons eyes were wide open as Dipper kissed him. The chains disappeared and he was forcefully pushed to the floor, hands that once used to be gentle touching him everywhere, scratching him, dominating him. Bill knew where this was going, even though Dipper had never done it before. Dipper wasn't into playing the dominating part, and neither was Bill into playing the submissive one. He felt so many, many things he was never supposed to feel in his entire existence.   
  
He felt weak.   
Vulnerable.   
Scared.   
  
He felt as if he had truly become nothing more than a pitiful human being. And, worst of all, he felt _guilty_. Because he couldn’t help but believe that all of this was ultimately his own fault.   
  
“No, stop. Seriously, stop! You don’t even want this right now!”, Bill choked out, but it didn’t stop Dipper from going down on him, slowly licking the tip of his cock, then putting his lips around it. The demon started to shake, desperately trying to hold back his moans, but it didn’t help. Something inside of him was yearning for this, begging for more. He wanted to scream and struggle against it, and at the same time he wanted nothing more than to buck up his hips and fuck Dippers mouth. He was addicted.   
  
“How does it feel, being so very, very human?”, Dipper asked absentmindedly, letting go of Bill’s dick, moving up to his face to fetch a quick kiss. He bit down on the demons lip, hard, making both of them taste blood. Bill shivered. Dipper started to rub his own dick between the others legs, teasingly pushing against his hole.   
  
“Don’t”, Bill breathed out, “Stop this. Dipper, p-please.”   
  
“Wow, I didn’t expect you to know the meaning of that word.”   
  
Dipper pushed it in without a warning, making the demon scream out loud. He put his hands around Bill’s neck, fucking him while choking him at the same time, something he always loved so much whenever Bill was doing it to him. Bill rolled his eyes back, crying out Dippers name, waves of pleasure and pain shaking up his weak form.    
  
_Stop.  
_**_Give me more._** _  
I don’t want this!  
_**_Harder, fuck me harder!_**  
No, Stop! 

Bill’s vision became blurred, and it took him a while to realize that it was from tears.


	9. Drowning

The mindscape was oddly quiet. It had been for a while now.  
  
Dipper was still unable to wake up in real life. So of course he stayed in the mindscape, but after what he had done to Bill he really didn’t feel like talking, and neither did the demon. But even without talking, they both were able to _feel_ little glimpses of what the other was thinking.   
  
Dipper was lying face down on his bed, in the dreamed up mindscape version of his room. They were most certainly not in this room in real life. Dipper had no idea where he really was. Maybe he was in hospital, maybe he was on his way there. Maybe he fell out of his window about 5 minutes ago, still lying on the streets and about to die. Who knew? Time wasn’t really a thing in the mindscape. 

Bill was sitting on the desk, cross-legged. He had not changed back to his triangular form. He didn’t even bother changing to any other form than exactly the one Dipper had last forced him into – an ordinary human being, now with fresh cuts, bruises, scratches and burns all over his body. There was no reason for him to change right now, no reason to heal the wounds, no reason to use any of his energy, at all. All he’d bothered to do was putting some pants own after Dipper was done with him. Decency, or whatever.        
  
His fingers brushed over the open sites of Dippers sketchbook. It was filled with drawings of gnomes, zombies, eye-bats, that one shape shifter the kids had once encountered, and so many, many pictures of Bill. Almost too small to be noticed, but they were there. Bill was surprised that even after this incredible damage, Dipper still managed to dream up his own room down to every last detail. Then again, he should’ve learned by now to not underestimate his powers in the mindscape.

After what felt like an eternity, it was Bill who first gave up and sighed deeply.   
“Look, I can feel your guilt all the way over here, but you’re feeling bad about the wrong thing,” he said, not looking at Dipper.  

It took him a while, but Dipper reacted, moving his head to the side.   
“What’s bothering you so much, then? If it’s _not_ the fact that some worthless human made you feel helpless and scared, fucked you into the ground and then tortured you using knifes and fire?”  
  
Dipper didn’t like the way they seemed to be able to feel into each other’s emotions. It was one of the things he was not able to control. He didn’t know why, but maybe it was just a thing about having a demon inside of your head for such a long time. Maybe this meant that their minds were starting to merge into one, or something like that. Nothing Dipper had thought about when he had shot himself with the damn gun.   
  
“I’m sorry,” he suddenly choked out.   
Both of them didn’t dare to look at the other. 

Then Bill began to laugh quietly, shaking his head.   
“Demon. I’m a _demon_ , kid. Mankind’s natural enemy. Your _worst_ enemy. What the fuck are you apologizing for? For giving me a small taste of the sweet pain we demons love to inflict on your kind? Seriously, you gotta step up your game if you really want to torture me. I’m not like you. I’m not human, and I never will be.” 

“Then why did you cry?” Dipper asked quietly. 

“I’m not having this conversation.” 

“I can feel that you’re nervous about something. Scared of something. You said I’m feeling bad about the wrong thing. What is it, then?”   
Dipper was now sitting upright, looking at him. 

“Don’t ask,” the demon simply said, his face a blank expression. 

“Come here,“ Dipper said, his head nodding at the bed he was sitting on. 

“Why don’t you just force me?”  
Bill glared at him. He did not like where this was going. 

“Because I don’t want to force you to do anything right now. I’m simply asking you to do something. I won’t try to control you. You can’t possess me anyways as long as I’m still unconscious.”   
Dipper wasn’t sure what he wanted, either. The only thing he knew was that he was curious. 

The demon sighed, seemingly annoyed. He hated the look on Dippers face. Hated how it seemed to ask him, _just what are you so afraid of?_ But he ended up doing what Dipper had asked him to do. Jumped from the desk, moved to the bed. He stopped, standing right before him, still hesitating.   
  
“What do you want, then?” Bill asked, even though he knew it already.   
Dipper got in a kneeling position on the bed in order to reach Bill’s shoulders and draw him a little closer.   
  
“Hold me,” he whispered near his ear, and Bill shivered a little. It was just words, just two stupid little words. Stupid, meaningless and yet so… so powerful.    
  
“Why?”, the demon murmured, following Dippers order. He gently pushed the young man back on the bed, lying down with him, closing his arms around him from behind. The brown curls tickled his nose. He couldn’t help but place a soft kiss on his shoulders, then on his neck. Dipper flinched a little.   
  
“Why not?”, he tried to avoid the subject.   
Funny, the way they both wanted to talk about it but couldn’t.    
  
“Answer my question and I’ll answer one of yours,” Bill suggested. His grip around Dippers chest and stomach tightened. All of this felt warm and familiar, and it felt good. It scared him.   
  
“Okay,” Dipper sighed, “It’s because I think I love you, but I also don’t understand, and I thought maybe by doing things only lovers would do… I thought it would make me help understand myself a little better. I mean, what is this? How can I love someone like you? I don’t know. I don’t get it… Now you. What are you so afraid of?” 

Bill closed his eyes. For a few seconds, he just wanted to let himself enjoy the moment.   
“I’m afraid of the things you’re making me feel.” 

“That’s a short answer. Not fair,” Dipper complained. He was starting to sound a little drowsy. But that might just be because the way Bill was holding him made him feel so… _safe_. As if he could sleep without having to worry about anything at all. He knew that this wasn’t the case, but the feeling was nice regardless. Bill’s slow and steady breath against his neck made him sigh and close his eyes, pressing his body a little more tightly against his touch. He was completely relaxed. 

“Next question. What happened to you? What made you like this? Traumatized by Weirdmageddon or something? Tell me.” 

“I don’t know. I think it started after our second summer in Gravity Falls. It was a great summer, and we had a lot of fun. But when we went back home, I suddenly remembered our first time there so vividly, so clear. And then I started to forget little things about that second summer. Almost as if I… had not really been there. Does that make any sense?”  
  
Dippers voice was very quiet. He went on.  
  
“And then I felt like that for the rest of the year. And the year after, too. The next summer, 2014, I refused to come to Gravity Falls again, because I thought maybe my brain associated it with bad memories and that this was the cause of my weird mental state. But it wasn’t. Even though I stayed in California for this entire summer and did a lot of other things with new friends from High School, at the end… I still felt the same. I kept a diary about all the things I had done in summer 2014. But none of it felt _real_. My only clear memories, the only memories I could draw real emotions from, were still the ones from 2012.” 

He paused. For a moment he had to ask himself why he was telling Bill all of this, but then he decided that he just didn’t care anymore. There was the possibility that he was about to die. And also the possibility that even if that wasn’t the case, with him being wounded like that and in such a weak emotional state, Bill might just try one more time to take over and kill him as soon as he’d wake up. At this point, nothing mattered anymore. 

“Go on if you want to,” Bill muttered. 

“I then started,” Dipper went on, “to think that maybe it was you, or some other demon messing with my head. But that didn’t seem right either. And then I started to think that maybe I just missed the weirdness, the adventures, the… the _rush_ it all gave me. And I started to ask myself if I missed you, too. I went back to Gravity Falls one more time with Mabel in 2015. That was when our great uncles returned from their little adventure to take a break and spend the summer with us. I still suspected that you could be messing with my head, so I told Ford about it. He was way ahead of me and showed me the unfinished work of what we simply called the ‘ _Dream Trapper’_. I’m obviously not going to explain to you how exactly it works. Anyways, you were right. It was this weapon that made me realize what I wanted.” 

He took a deep breath, suddenly feeling not so comfortable in Bill’s arms anymore, because he felt guilt crawling all over his back. 

“I tested it on myself, you know. Tested the way it would affect my mind with dreams. The gun has a self-timer. So I tried to calculate the exact time when I would reach the first REM period. I probably don’t have to explain sleeping periods to a dream demon.” 

“Of course not,” Bill said, “You probably took sleeping pills to make yourself fall asleep at just the right time, then set the timer of the gun to something between 90 and 100 minutes after that first point of falling asleep. And? Did you manage to actually _capture_ dreams by doing that?”   
  
Bill couldn’t deny that he was curious, and he also slowly started to understand how Dippers mind control had gotten so ridiculously strong over the past years.  

“Yeah. It took me a whole while, and all the failed experiments messed up my sleep quite a bit so I had to recalculate, but one night… it worked. The gun trapped a dream in my head, so instead of normally waking up in the morning, I woke up in the mindscape, and after another while I found myself able to control the dream. I’m sure you can tell what happened then. I was living an ordinary life on one side of the coin, and on the other side I was still experimenting with the gun, trying to figure out more and more about my own mind, and learning how to control it.”   
  
Dipper went silent after that.    
  
“All of that just in case I might be back one day. So you would be prepared for my return with no reason to fear me... You fucked yourself up by overdoing the experiments on your own mind, good job,“ Bill said, „By the way, I’m familiar with human psychology. It’s the one thing that makes you interesting after all. What you just described is what they call a Depersonalization-Disorder. Usually shows up along with other mental illnesses. If I were to take a wild guess, you probably suffer from Depression, Anxiety and Borderline personality disorders. But oh well, I’m neither human nor a psychiatrist, and _you_ sure as hell never went to see one.“  
  
He felt Dipper cringe in his arms. That was answer enough.   
  
“And because you weren’t able to focus on anything else,“ The demon went on, „You couldn’t help but also think of me when it came to your sexual desires. And now you think _this_ is love?”   
Bill gritted his teeth. It all made sense. Dippers real mistake was that he had never told anyone about his problems. Why didn’t he at least tell his sister? He should’ve gotten help a lot sooner. Instead, he had driven himself into a corner and focused on solving the problem without any help, seeing it as just another mystery, a code that could be cracked. 

“I don’t know,” Dipper breathed out, suddenly shaking a bit, “Do you think it is?” 

“Obsession and love are the same to a demon. We don’t understand the human concept of love. Or so I… thought. But I’ve been feeling so many things I thought I couldn’t in the time I’ve spent with you. Is this a side effect of the damn gun? I’m sick of it. I don’t want these emotions.”   
He contradicted his own words by hugging Dipper even more tightly. Their legs were intertwined. Because he could feel the others sudden anxiety, Bill started to soothingly caress his hair and moved his right hand to the human’s heart, feeling the beat.  
   
“Bill, do you love me? Or are you obsessed with me, if it’s all the same to you?” 

A long silence followed.   
Dipper didn’t mind.  
Everything suddenly felt so good, so right. Except for the crippling guilt he felt when he saw the cuts and burns on the demons arms. He could make them disappear, of course. But he felt like Bill wanted him to see them. _What a mess_ , he thought.   
_Let’s make this mess last for just a little longer._  

“I’m afraid of falling in love with you,” Bill finally answered. He then shifted into a different position, turning Dipper around so he could see his face.    
  
_Or maybe I already did_.   
  
He couldn’t help but kiss him with a sudden burning passion. It wasn’t lust, or possessiveness, or any of that. The kiss was a desperate one, full of feelings that both of them just couldn’t understand, no matter how smart they both thought they were. Bill broke the kiss, panting, and Dipper looked at him with tears in his eyes, and with his usual blank, cold and dead expression.  
  
“Fuck”, Bill cursed quietly, “Pine Tree—Dipper—damn it, I just can’t stand this anymore. I can’t keep watching you destroying yourself. I don’t know why I care, I don’t know if it’s just because I’m trapped in here or because you’re fucking with my emotions, but it doesn’t matter. You need help. For the sake of all that is holy to you stupid humans – _let me help you_.” 

The tears proceeded to roll down his cheeks, and Bill gently kissed them away.   
Dipper managed to give him a weak smile.      
  
“How are you going to help me, if you can’t even help yourself?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter answered quite a few of your questions.  
> As always, I'll be happy about any comments and appreciate them very much!


	10. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much again for all your comments and kudos.  
> It's been so long since I wrote any fanfiction at all, I almost forgot how much fun it is!

* * *

At 1 pm sharp, Mabel showed up at the hospital again. Only this time, she did not come alone. It was the third day after the incident. Ford had arrived in California the day before, and it wasn’t like he had anything else to do, so he stayed with Mabel. She was glad about it.  
  
“Mom said she will come here in her break time. Dad probably in the evening,” Mabel said. They walked through the hospitals main entrance. Mabel didn’t like hospitals. They were supposed to be comfortable, so why didn’t they make these places a little more colorful? All this white and grey and sometimes bits of green were just depressing. It reminded Mabel of movies in which humans were used as lab rats and ended up being screwed up superheroes. Or villains.  
  
Ford had been pretty quiet ever since he arrived here, and nervous. It was obvious because he was talking faster than usually and spaced out a lot. Just like it took him 5 Minutes to realize what Mabel had just said.  
  
“No problem, I’ll wait with you,” he finally reacted.  
  
Mabel sighed.  
Yesterday, the doctor had mentioned something about it being odd that her brother was still in a coma. Or not, because his breathing was normal, so it seemed like he was really just asleep. It made Mabel cringe. Of course the doctor and nurses wouldn’t know about a dream demon who just loved to mess with people’s sleep. 

“Miss Pines?”  
  
Mabel shot up from her seat in the waiting room, where she had just sat down a few seconds ago. A nurse had called her.  
  
“ Y-yes, that’s me?” she stuttered.  
  
“Would you please come with me? The doctor wants to talk to you.”  
  
“To me? What happened? But… of course! Can my great uncle come with me?”  
  
The look on the nurses face was a little suspicious, but then she nodded.  
“Yes, follow me please.”  
  
Mabel had to draw Ford out of his chair, because again he hadn’t been listening at all. They used the elevator to go to the third floor. In front of one of the patient’s rooms the doctor was waiting for them.  
  
“Ah, only Miss Pines please,” he said as soon as he looked up and saw Stanford.  
  
“Why?”, Ford complained, furrowing his eyebrows.  
  
“He woke up, and he wants to see his sister. The thing is, we normally wouldn’t allow this. It’s too soon for him to see anyone.”  
  
“But?”, Mabel asked worriedly. She had a bad feeling about this.  
  
The doctor sighed.  
“Yes, but… but he threatened to hurt himself if he can not see you immediately, at least for a few minutes. He wants to talk to you alone for a moment. I really don’t like this, but I will make an exception. I will give you 10 minutes. If something is wrong, the nurse will stay right here in front of the room.” 

Mabel felt like someone had smashed her face with a chair.  
  
“I should really go with her. She shouldn’t have to do this alone!” Ford protested.  
  
“I won’t stop you from going with her,” the man in the white coat said, “I’m just saying that it seems like Mr. Pines doesn’t want to see anyone else.”  
  
“I’ll go with you, Mabel.”  
  
She didn’t know if Ford accompanying her was a good thing or not. Right now, she only felt something sting and twist in her chest, making her tear up a bit. She wanted to see her brother. To hug him and tell him what a goddamn idiot he is, and that things were going to be okay. And now she had the chance to do just that.  

She entered the room, and there he was, lying on a white bed. Dipper was staring out of the window as if he’d never seen the sun in the sky before. One of his legs was lifted up, and his left arm was attached to an infusion pump. He didn’t move, maybe he couldn’t.  
  
“Dipper!”, she cried out, stumbling to his bed.  
He was there, and he was alive.  
  
A few tears escaped her eyes. He was alive, and they would be able to help him now, somehow. He didn’t have to deal with all of this alone. They would stick together, just like they always did.  
  
But then Dipper turned around to face her, and Mabel’s eyes widened.   
  
“N-no…” she breathed out, stumbling away from him, her back hitting the wall. She covered her mouth with her hands, and the next thing she heard was a clicking sound from the other side of the room. Ford was holding something that looked like the memory gun Mabel remembered, but a little different in design, and smaller. And he was pointing it at her brother.  
  
“Save it, Sixer. I’m already trapped in his mind. Maybe you shouldn’t have given him one of these,” Bill said with Dippers voice. The slit pupils of his eyes had betrayed him.  
  
“Get… get out of his body! leave him alone!”, Mabel cried.  
  
“I’d love to,” Bill answered, “but I can’t. By the way, what part of _Mabel Pines only_ did that nurse not understand? Get the hell out of here, Stanford. **Now**.” 

Stanford did not lower the gun.  
Bill grinned.  
“Good to know that you don’t care about your nephew’s well being at all. You’re ready to trap me in his mind without even thinking about the mental consequences for him. Good old Sixer, still the same paranoid Anti-Hero at heart. But I don’t have time for this. I will talk to Shooting Star only.”  
  
The demon wasn’t showing it, but he was nervous. Dipper wouldn’t be in deep sleep for much longer. He only had 8, maybe 10 minutes at best. It was just his luck that Shooting Star had to bring _him_ into the game. Bill’s plan was to explain everything to Mabel and hope that she wouldn’t tell her brother about the fact that they talked. There was a good chance that she would be cooperative. But with Sixer around, he was pretty much screwed.  
  
“How do you know of this weapon?” Stanford asked, still not moving.  
  
“I told you already, Dipper used it on me, I’m already trapped in here. Now if you would kindly go fuck yourself and leave me and Shooting Star alone, that’d be great.” 

Mabel just stared at the scene in front of her, feeling like her entire world was crumbling down, shattered to little pieces. She was scared to death. But she was still Mabel Pines, and there was next to nothing she wouldn’t do for her brother.  
  
_Get it together, Mabel.  
He would have done the same for you.  
_  
“It’s okay, Ford. Please wait outside,” she said.  
  
“Mabel, you can’t—“  
  
“You heard her, Sixer. Get lost.”  
  
For a moment, Stanford and Bill were just glaring at each other, both of them seemingly ready to break the others neck.  
  
“I will come back in here in 5 minutes, unless I hear anything that sounds off to me. If you hurt her I’ll make you regret your entire existence, Cipher,” the old man spat out, slowly leaving the room and quietly closing the door behind him.  
  
“Alright, Shooting Star. Listen carefully. I don’t have much time to talk to you. I can only possess Dipper when he’s in the deep sleep phase, and even then it takes a lot of effort because he hardly ever lets his guard down. Right now I bothered to take over his body for one reason only: to talk to you,” Bill said, wondering where he should start.  
  
The poor girls face was about as white as the hospital wall.  
“What the hell are you even talking about? What do you want?” she asked, trying to get her broken voice to sound a little more confident. Bill couldn’t help but appreciate the way she was trying to be brave for Dipper’s sake. Souls like hers tend to spark the interest of demons. That kind of heroic soul that didn’t easily break, humans that cry for a minute only to stand up tall in the next and save the world. Oh, it would be fun, but Bill was in no position to play around.  
  
“I want to get out of your brothers mind.”  
  
“You… can’t?”  
  
Bill gritted his teeth. There wasn’t much time, so he had to carefully choose his words.   
“Look, long story short, I’m trapped in his mind and I’m not sure if there’s any way to undo this other than killing him. That's what I tried to do, and I failed. I won’t try again. Call it a ‘change of heart’ or whatever. Your brother needs help. Say, Shooting Star, in the past 8 years, did it ever occur to you that something is wrong with your brother? That he might be suffering from mental illnesses? That he kept obsessing over things that were way in the past? Did you ever _talk_ about that? Please don’t take too long to answer this, because I really don’t have the time. He’s going to wake up soon.” 

Mabel was overwhelmed. What the hell was going on? Help? Bill wanted to help Dipper? Did the damn demon think she was going trust him just like that?

The demon sighed, thinking about what to say to make the girl talk.   
“I know that you can’t trust me, and I don’t expect you to believe me, but you can’t trust your own brother right now, either. And Stanford? Seriously, of all people that could’ve helped him, you called _Stanford_? Do you realize he cares more about getting rid of me than he cares about the rest of humanity?”

“What do you even want me to say? Yes, I kind of did notice the things you just told me, but we never talked about it—or did we? I… I don’t know anymore. But Dipper was always just fine!” she finally said. Her back was still firmly pressed against the wall. She didn’t dare to get any closer to her possessed brother’s body.  

“Alright. There’s a way for me to prove to you that what I’m saying is true. You got something to write, kid? Hurry.”  
Bill’s voice was calm. He was trying really hard to not sound like a threat to Shooting Star. He really needed her help after all. She might be the only one able to actually understand Dipper’s situation.  
  
Mabel tried to stay calm and reached into her purse, grabbing a pen and a little notebook she always carried with her. She didn’t know what to expect when she handed it to Bill. But the way he talked sure was a lot different than what she remembered. No way in hell could she trust him, but she could at least listen to what he had to say.  
  
Bill quickly took pen and notebook and started to write something up.  
“This is a spell,” he explained while still writing, “To protect and adjust memories. We demons use it a lot, being immortal and all – too many memories to take care of, it gets a little crowded in our minds. It won’t work all that well for you since you’re just human, but it should be enough to make sure you don’t forget about anything important.”  
  
“Why would I forget about something? And why would you want to help me? Seriously, quit the games. I’m not twelve years old anymore.”  
As confident as she tried to sound, she was terribly scared and wanted to run away.  
  
“I don’t exactly want to help _you_ , I want to help your brother. And, obviously, I’m doing this for myself too. I want to get out of here,” he paused, then sighed deeply, “…I’m out of time. Dipper is going to wake up very soon. Whatever you do, _don’t_ tell him about the spell. Best would be not to tell Ford about it, either. I’m not asking you to trust me, because obviously you can’t, but your brother isn’t the same anymore. If anything, I’ll ask you to be _careful_. Goodbye, Shooting Star.”  
  
Bill closed his, or Dipper’s, eyes and fell back into the pillow of the hospital bed, suddenly sound asleep. It happened so fast that Mabel could only blink.  
  
“What—Wait!” she yelled, but no reaction.  
  
Dipper, or Bill, or both of them, seemed to be gone.  
Asleep.  
If what Bill said was true, Dipper would wake up now, right? 

“Mabel? Is everything alright?”  
  
Of course, Ford.  
Mabel took a deep breath.  
“Great uncle Ford,” she started, not looking at him, “I’d really prefer you wouldn’t pull a gun on my brother.”  
  
“I’m sorry, dear,” his voice implied that he was truly sorry about this, “I would never hurt Dipper. I only did it to intimidate Cipher, but it didn’t work, as he already knew what the weapon was—“  
  
“What did Bill mean when he said you gave Dipper one of these?”  
  
Stanford was taken aback. His niece was now directly looking at him, and what he saw were very hurt eyes, full of suspicion. Eyes he couldn’t possibly lie to.  
  
“Listen, Mabel, I’m sorry for keeping this from you, but if Dipper didn’t tell you either… We build this weapon together, years ago. He wanted to take one of them with him. He told me that it was reassuring to just have something up his sleeve if Bill should ever come back.”  
  
Ford glanced at Dipper, frowning.  
“I didn’t expect him to use it on himself. The gun could have been used on anything that has a soul and mind. It was meant to only be used in a case of emergency. In case of a second Weirdmageddon.”  
Mabel shuddered. As much as she loved her memories from summer 2012, she’d rather forget about this certain event.  

Suddenly, Dipper moved, or at least tried to move a little. Mabel gasped a little when she realized that he had opened his eyes, and this time they really were _his_ eyes.  
  
“Dipper…” Mabel whispered.  
  
“Excuse me,” the doctor stepped into the room, “You really have to leave now. I will contact you immediately when he is well enough to have visitors.”  
  
Mabel nodded slowly.  
_What a mess._  
She decided to think carefully about everything Bill had told her before she would tell anyone else about it.   


* * *

 

Bill was lucky. 

Thanks to the doctor stepping in at just the right moment, Sixer and Shooting Star didn’t get a chance to tell Dipper that he had just been possessed. The demon had to focus on keeping this a secret. He knew very well that it was just a matter of time until Dipper found out. But, as much as he hated to admit it, Bill was scared of the consequences. So postponing his next punishment just seemed like a fancy idea.  
At the moment he was alone in the mindscape, because Dipper was awake and listening to whatever the doctor had to tell him. Though, it didn’t seem like Dipper was really interested. 

“I know you don’t really care, but since this is kind of _my_ body too now, you should really listen to what your doctor is telling you,” Bill sighed. 

Dippers voice echoed through the mindscape as he answered.

_He said it’s basically a miracle that I survived a fall from this height with just a few broken bones, and that my healing process is going very well. I’ll need crutches, but I might already be able to leave the hospital next week. What did you do?_

Sharp as always.  
“Me? I tried to kill you, but you should be well aware of that,” the demon said.  
Wow, lying used to be easier. 

_Don’t lie to me. I’ll make you regret it if you do._

Bill frowned.  
Should he tell him the truth?  
  
_I heard that._  

Well, fuck.  
He was able to hide most of his thoughts, but whenever Dipper was onto something the demon might be lying about, he slipped up.  
  
“Alright, fine. I didn’t want you to get angry about it. I possessed you earlier for about 10 minutes, but I didn’t do anything other than to take most of your pain and speed up your healing process with demonic spells.”  
  
There was no use lying about the possession part, it should be obvious for Dipper that Bill wasn’t able to use spells within the mindscape that would affect the outside world.

_Why?_

No more mistakes now, Bill told himself and focused the little power he had in this space on hiding his conversation with Stanford and Mabel.  
  
“I already told you, we share this body and mind now and I won’t get out of here until you die. I failed trying to kill you, and I could try again, but I won’t,” he paused, asking himself why exactly he won’t try again, and he _hated_ the answer to that question, “You can’t deal with real physical pain. There’s hardly anything that scares you more. So I decided to help. I really, honestly didn’t do anything bad to your body or to anyone else.”  
Well, that was not a lie. Talking to Shooting Star wasn’t exactly a bad thing. And this exact wording made Dipper believe that he was telling the truth. 

_You could have told me what you wanted to do._

“You wouldn’t have let me.”

_True. Alright, I’ll let it slip. Thank you, I guess._

Bill held back a very relieved sigh.  
This could’ve ended way worse. 


	11. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Yep, there's smut in this chapter, and it's pretty violent but consensual.
> 
> But I know the majority of you like it anyways, so enjoy.  
> I hope there's wifi in hell.

* * *

  
Dipper’s back hit the grey wall.   
  
His legs were pushed apart and he was drawn into a rough, bruising kiss, a hand entangled in his hair to forcefully keep his head in place. He shivered and moaned into Bill’s mouth, his arms resting on the demons shoulder, trying to draw him closer. The way the demons tongue skillfully danced around his own made him feel dizzy for a moment. It was just kissing, but for Dipper it was more intoxicating than any alcohol or drug could ever be.   
  
Bill broke the kiss, his one eye hazily staring down at Dipper, who smiled.   
“This the worst you can do? _Come on_.”   
  
Oh, it was on.   
  
He growled and yanked Dippers head back, making him gasp, then he sunk his sharp teeth right into his throat, breaking through the skin. Dipper started shaking, his hands moving to the demons back, his nails digging in.   
“Aaah… Shit, yes…! Harder!”, Dipper panted out, rolling his hips against Bill and gritting his teeth at the pain from his neck. It was no secret to Bill that teasing Dipper’s neck in any way was the easiest way to get him all worked up. The demons right hand moved to the other’s crotch. The rough grip around his arousal made Dipper cry out, shivering in anticipation. Bill’s other hand wandered to Dipper’s mouth, pushing two fingers inside. Obediently, he began to lick and suck on them. 

Words couldn’t express how much Dipper loved every little second of this. No matter how often they had done this before, he still loved the demon’s rough touches, and he especially loved the cold and disinterested look on his face. Because in just a few minutes, the ice would melt and Bill wouldn’t be able to pretend not to like this any longer. He could already see it in his eyes. The want. The _lust_.   
It was right there, and soon enough Bill would give in to it. He didn’t even have to do anything to make it happen. After all, Dipper wasn’t the only one addicted to this. 

“Turn around and kneel,” Bill ordered.   
  
Dipper gladly obeyed. He was shaking out of pure excitement.   
  
“Count.”   
  
For a moment, he was confused. But then a burning pain exploded on his back, sending waves of pleasure through his body and shocking him at the same time. He screamed out, held his breath for a few seconds.  
The belt. Damn. _Yes_. This was going to be really, _really_ good.   
  
“One,” he choked out, supporting himself with his hands against the wall.   
The demons eyes narrowed. He lunged out and let the belt hit Dipper’s back twice as hard as before. Another agonizing scream. Music to Bill’s ears. Even if his control right now wasn’t real, even if the truth was that Dipper could end this any second if he wanted to, it still felt good.   
  
“Two…”   
  
One more time. Dipper cringed, hissing.   
“Three...!”  
  
The next one hit exactly the same spot where number two had left a red mark.   
“Aaaah! Sh-Shit…. F-four…!”  
  
“Ah, ah. No cursing, just counting,” Bill hummed.   
  
He waited ten seconds, watching Dipper shake in fear of not knowing when the next wave of pain would hit him. What a _sight_. The demon wondered how long he would be able to hold himself back, with Dippers bruised body and bare ass exposed to him like that. He couldn’t help licking his lips, just breathing out for a moment.   
  
The belt smacked down on Dippers ass, hard.   
“Five… F-Five…nngh…” the young man breathed out. His cock was standing tall by now, twitching and yearning for attention. For a moment he considered touching himself, but as soon as he started moving his hand the belt came down on his right shoulder, making him scream out and instinctively move his left hand to cover the hurting area. He felt tears gathering up in his widened eyes.   
  
“Six…”   
His throat felt hoarse.  
  
“Don’t touch yourself.”    
  
Then Bill hit him three times in a row, fast and intense. The pain was almost too much. Dipper’s arms gave in, unable to support his position any longer. He broke down.   
  
“Seven… Eight… N-Nine…,” he sobbed.   
  
Bill smiled.   
“Good boy.”   
  
The last hit.   
Dipper couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. He coiled up on the ground, whimpering and groaning not only at the pain on his back, but also at the pain from his ignored and fully erect dick.   
“Ten,” he cried, his entire body shaking.   
  
He abruptly got turned around to lie on his back, and it hurt like hell. With his burning and bruised back being pressed against the floor, Dipper couldn’t prevent more tears from rolling down his cheeks. Bill lifted his legs so they would rest on the demons shoulders. Dipper stared up at him, and his expression said _go on please give it to me please fuck me already I need it I need you-  
_  
“Beg,” Bill said, biting his lip. He stroked his own erection for a few seconds, then proceeded to teasingly rub it between Dippers legs and against his twitching hole.   
  
“Please,” Dipper moaned, “Fuck me...”   
  
“Louder. And you know what I like to hear.”   
  
He teased him even further, pushing just the tip of his cock inside, leaving him to shiver and moan louder than before.   
  
“Aaah—fuck— Please, please Bill! Fuck me! I need you, Bill… _Bill_ …!”   
  
The demon hummed, seemingly pleased.   
“There you go. Almost thought you forgot my name for a second.”  
  
And then it happened, like a switch somewhere in his head suddenly flipping. It wasn’t Dipper’s influence. Bill simply lost control over himself, just like that. His one eye turned red, and a shiver went through his half-human body. He couldn’t hold back anymore.   
  
“ _Fuck,”_ Bill cursed, then slammed his cock inside Dipper.   
The young man screamed, his eyes tightly shut, his expression full of pleasure and pain. Bill grabbed his wrists, holding him down. His thrusts were hard and fast. He was too turned on to even think. All he wanted was to make Dipper scream his name, make him cry from the pain, make him beg for more.   
  
“Say my name,” the demon growled.   
  
“Bill… Bill—H-harder, please, Bill! BILL!”   
  
Dippers voice right now was like a drug to Bill’s mind. His right hand let go of Dippers wrist and moved to finally take care of the other’s cock, stroking and pumping him roughly, just the way he liked it.   
  
“Aaah—Bill… Bill, fuck, I’m so close—More, please, don’t s-stop—“   
_This is it, don’t stop, harder, more, more,_ ** _more_** _!  
_  
Dipper came. His vision was blurry from tears and his orgasm shook up his body, incredible waves of pleasure making him scream the only name that mattered. Trembling, he kept clinging to Bill and cried out at the demons last hard thrusts before he came as well, slowly filling him up.     
_Fuck. Yes. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you…_     
He closed his eyes. Both of them were trying to catch their breath.   
  
“Satisfied?” Bill whispered after a few minutes.   
  
Dipper smiled a little, and simply nodded, pressing his exhausted body against Bill’s.  
  
“Then rest.”   
A soft kiss on his forehead. It made Dipper sigh, and he relaxed.   
  
“I love you, Bill,” he hummed.   
  
“Don’t.”   
After that, everything went silent.  

 

* * *

 

 

When Dipper opened his eyes again, he found himself on the bathroom floor of his hospital room. It was the middle of the night. How much time had passed since he got here to have some _fun_ with Bill? He groaned. Getting back to the bed would be hard. Getting up from the floor at all, that was. His left hand reached out to the sink, and he tried to pull himself up, standing on the leg that wasn’t broken.   
  
_Careful._  

„Shut up. I know what I’m doing.“   
  
He cursed, shakily breathing out. But he managed to stand up. Supporting himself on the sink with his left hand, he tried to grab his crutches with the other. He had left them leaning against the bathroom wall before he went to the mindscape. Very carefully, afraid that he might knock them over, he successfully took both crutches.   
A relieved sigh.   
Wasn’t all that hard after all.   
The day before, another patient had been put in his room, since it was big enough for three beds and Dipper was soon to be released from the hospital. Which is why he had to go to the bathroom in order to not wake the other guy up with his… nightly adventures. 

_Or you could’ve gone at least three days without it, y’know._

Dipper smiled.   
„But you were so _good_ today, Bill. How am I supposed to resist when I can feel that you’re in the mood?“

Bill didn’t answer anymore. 

Very quietly, Dipper went back to his bed. Sure, he could’ve gone without it. But the doctor had told him that his family would be allowed to visit him tomorrow, and the thought had made him anxious. He was sure that he could deal with his parents somehow, but Mabel? As much as he loved his sister, he definitely did not look forward to explaining anything to her. And lying to her. Didn’t even know if it would work out. She probably had figured out too much already.   
So this little _distraction_ was exactly what he’d needed in order to get some sleep now. He made himself comfortable again, drawing the white sheets up until they reached his nose. 

It was only in moments like these that he kind of wished for his dreamed up version of Bill to be real, so he could embrace him and fall asleep with this warm and safe feeling in his chest. He sighed. The cushion would have to do. 

* * *

 

  
“We were so worried!” their mother cried out, carefully pulling Dipper into another hug, “We could have lost you… I’m so glad you’re alright. The doctor said you could leave the hospital this week. I got your old room at home ready. You’re gonna stay with us for a while so we can take care of you. You can do the university stuff on your laptop too, right?”  
  
“Yeah, mom.”  
  
He was actually glad about it, for multiple reasons. First of all he hadn’t eaten well in the past months, so having his mother cook for him would be a comfortable but temporary solution. But the more important point was that as long as he stayed around his parents, Mabel wouldn’t ask too much about Bill. After all, the entire Weirdmageddon thing officially never happened. Their parents probably wouldn’t believe them anyways, so both Dipper and Mabel had long ago decided to keep all of this to themselves. His dad was busy with work, so only his mother and Mabel had come to visit him. They could have visited him a few days ago already, but all of them had been too busy.   
  
“Anything you need, dear? Should I bring you some new books, or your gaming console?” His mother asked.   
  
“Books would be nice. Any fantasy book from my room at home is fine,” Dipper answered with a smile.   
  
He was desperately trying to ignore Mabel’s glare. Also, he had to focus on blocking Bill out from this conversation, as he didn’t want to get interrupted again.  
  
“Alright,” their mother sighed and pushed the hair out of Dippers face, kissing him on the forehead, “I won’t ask you about what exactly happened, not now. Let’s save this for some other time, when you’re home, alright?”   
  
Dipper was so, so glad about that. More time to come up with whatever he was going to tell his parents.   
“Yes, thank you. I love you mom.”   
  
“Good. I have to go now because I have an appointment… but Mabel will stay here a little longer. Oh, and make sure to eat! You’ve gotten so… so thin,” she said, suddenly fighting with tears. Dipper didn’t look at her. He didn’t want to see this.   
No one should be sad because of him.  
He wasn’t worth any tears.   
  
“It’s okay, mom. I’ll be fine.”   
She shook her head and took a deep breath, then bid goodbye one more time before leaving the room. And then everything was silent, in a very uncomfortable way. Mabel was texting someone. 

“So,” she finally said, “Are you gonna tell me the truth about what happened now?”   
  
Dipper bit his lip. He knew that Mabel was angry, because it had become obvious to her that he was keeping things from her. And they used to never have any secrets from each other. They had been best friends for their entire lives. If one of them fucked up, the other would always understand and be supportive. Dipper was well aware that he had been tearing a rift into their sibling relationship, into their trust in each other.   
  
“Mabel, it’s… it’s complicated. I don’t know where to start,” he said quietly.   
  
“Is Bill really in your head?” she asked.   
  
No point lying about that, not anymore.   
“Yes.”   
  
“So you admit it now. Is it true that he’s trapped in your mind?”  
Everything was silent for a moment.   
Dipper stared at her.  
“How…?”   
  
“That’s… that’s what he said, and I want to hear it from you. Is it true? And why did you do that? I’m sure we could have found a way to get rid of him, right?” Mabel whispered, looking at her brother with those sad eyes he couldn’t handle.   
  
“He… told you? You talked to Bill?”   
  
Absentmindedly, Dipper started to scratch his right arm again, his eyes fixed on the bed sheets. They had _talked_. That other time, when he had let his guard down and Bill had possessed him. Bill probably told Mabel everything. Or not? What did they talk about? Would Mabel tell him everything, now that their bond of trust was kind of broken?   
  
Someone was knocking at the door. He almost didn’t realize that another person entered the room, until he looked up.   
Dipper gritted his teeth.   
Things just got even _more_ complicated.   
  
“Long time no see, great uncle Ford.”


	12. Liars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone dislike Dipper yet? No?  
> Well, things are just gonna get worse.  
> Enjoy! :)

* * *

“Long time no see, great uncle Ford.”   
  
Dipper sighed and smiled a little. He couldn’t show that he was not happy to see Stanford at all. He glanced at Mabel. As always, he had underestimated his own sister. This situation just got really, really bad. He always had his ways to deal with Mabel, but his great uncle was an entirely different story.   
  
“Glad to see you alive and well, Dipper”, Stanford said, taking off the hat and scarf he’d been wearing as he entered the room.   
  
Dipper had to resist rolling his eyes really, really hard. He knew Stanford very well after all, and he understood his way of thinking better than anyone else in the family, because it was too similar to his own. Mabel wouldn’t think of the possibility, but for all Dipper knew about him, there was a high chance that Ford was planning to kill him.   
After all, the original purpose of that special weapon was to trick Bill into entering any mind - preferably not a human one to prevent unnecessary sacrifices – and then immediately kill it. This would kill the demon for good. Erasing him out of someone’s mind with the memory gun was clever, but would always assure his return, because memories could always be recovered. But if Bill was unable to leave someone’s mind, and then died along with it…   
That was Stanford’s goal. 

Dipper knew, and having the same rational way of thinking as his great uncle, he also knew the old man’s priorities. Mabel meant well, but she unknowingly put Dipper in a very dangerous situation. Of course he wasn’t mad at her. After all this time, after everything that had happened, Mabel was still the one person he could never be upset with. She was the one person he really, honestly didn’t want to disappoint. Maybe she was the last living thing that really reminded him of being human. 

“I realized earlier,” Dipper began, carefully thinking about his use of words, “That he possessed me and talked to you. Since Mabel knows, I’m guessing you know it already, too. I used the Dream Trapper on myself.”  
He took a deep breath, faking a desperate and sad voice, and started to scratch his right arm again, not knowing for a moment whether it was out of real or fake nervousness. He had to convince Ford, somehow.   
  
“I _had_ to. Please believe me when I say I didn’t have any other choice,” he tried to think of something that would make him tear up a bit as he went on,   
“Bill started haunting my dreams, and he wouldn’t leave. He gave me horrible nightmares, torturing my mind in order to make me agree to a deal, so he could use my body as a vessel. Of course I didn’t agree, but at some point I was way too close to give in. I tried to ignore the nightmares, telling myself that they were nothing but dreams and none of it would ever be real, but…”   
  
Maybe Dipper should’ve become an actor. This performance was worthy of an Oscar. And, best of all, he actually saw Ford’s face lighten up a bit and showing pity. It was working.  
  
“I’m sorry for what happened to you, Dipper,” Ford said, sitting down on a chair next to his bed, “But why didn’t you tell Mabel, or anyone else?”  
  
Dipper bit his lip.   
“I didn’t want her to worry. I’m sorry…”, he glanced at his sister for a moment, then lowered his head and stared at the white sheets, “I know I should’ve told you. It was a mistake. I thought I could handle it alone, and I realized too late that I couldn’t. And when it became too much, I decided to trap Bill in my mind and—and…”   
_And kill myself_ , he thought, and then actual tears rolled over his face.   
No sign of the others doubting his words. Perfect.   
  
“Dipper,” Mabel breathed out, very close to crying at the realization that her brother had tried to kill herself in order to get rid of Bill, “You really… really should have told me! You’re always there for me, and I want to be there for you, too. It’s just… you never let me. I know you’re doing this because you don’t want to bother me, but I want to know when you’re in trouble! I… I almost l-lost you there…”   
  
The tears fell, and her sobs made it hard to understand the last words. And in this moment Dipper’s fake despair became real.   
No, no, **no**.   
Mabel shouldn’t cry, not because of him, never.   
He had to fix this, somehow. He had to make her believe that everything would be all right.  
   
“D-don’t cry, Mabel, please! I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. I’ve made a terrible mistake, I know, and I’m sorry—I’ll tell you everything. I won’t keep things from you anymore. Please, just… just don’t be sad. I’m okay. I will be okay, somehow. We’ve always managed to get out of any trouble, right?”   
  
It was much easier to lie and act something out in front of Stanford.   
  
“I want to believe you,” Mabel sobbed, “but you keep lying to me, telling me you’re alright when you’re not! I want to listen to your problems, I want to talk to you about it, I want to help you, but…”   
  
“I’ll tell you everything from now on. I promise,” Dipper assured.   
Technically, he wasn’t lying about that.   
  
“As for what we will do about Bill,” Stanford said, clearing his throat for a moment, “You know that we can’t talk about this. He might hear everything. Are you able to keep your vision from him?”   
  
If it weren’t for the awful situation he was in, Dipper would’ve laughed at this question. Bill wasn’t able to see or hear anything he did. The demon was completely isolated from this world.  
  
“Yes, I think I can. I’m trying to keep him out of conversations, too, but it’s hard. But if we write things up instead of talking it shouldn’t be a problem.”   
  
Dipper was heavily relying on Mabel to insist on knowing the plan. If she were to leave him alone with Stanford… He shuddered. He didn’t want to die. No matter how miserable his life was at the moment, he still wanted to live. 

 

* * *

 

Bill was waiting, and waiting, and waiting.  
It felt like forever, but it could’ve also just been 15 minutes, he didn’t know. He was alone, which meant Dipper was awake, which also meant that it was only a matter of time until he would be in a whole lot of trouble because of his little chat with Shooting Star and Sixer.   
And he was starting to actually feel anxious. It used to be such a ridiculous thought.   
  
Fear?   
Bill Cipher, _afraid_ of something?   
  
Not long ago this would have sounded like a joke. A joke that now wasn’t funny anymore. He had tried to act tough about it in front of Dipper, not just out of pride, but also in order to make the human believe that the pain didn’t affect him all that much. That he didn’t really care about getting hurt, and thus couldn’t be tortured. But as much as Bill tried to convince himself too, it just wasn’t the truth.   
  
He was scared, and scarred.   
None of the physical pain was real, but having no control over the mindscape at all, it all felt very real. It was horrible. Bill wasn’t used to pain. Never before had he experienced any pain that he didn’t inflict on himself for a little kick, possessing people through the history of mankind. But this was out of control, out of _his_ control, and there was nothing hilarious about this, not anymore.    
  
And much worse than that was this weird sadness and despair that was sometimes creeping up on him, because Bill had no idea if Dipper was _making_ him feel it or if these feelings were his own. There was no way to tell. And by now he didn’t even change his form anymore, not only because it was pointless, but also because he had stopped feeling like… himself. If he ever got out of here, he knew that the first thing he’d do would be making himself forget about the little _session_ they had after he had tried to kill Dipper. He really, really didn’t want to think about it anymore. 

“I can make you forget, if you want to.”   
  
Again, Bill almost jumped at the sound of Dippers voice.   
“ _Fuck_ , can you stop creeping up on me like that? I know you think it’s hilarious, but it’s really, really annoying,” the demon complained.   
  
Dipper was suddenly right in front of him, pulling him closer for a very quick, soft and seemingly loving kiss. The fact that he was being gentle was exactly what scared the demon so much.   
“But I _really_ like listening to your traitorous little thoughts before letting you know that I’m here,” Dipper muttered against his lips, “Besides, you used to do the exact same thing all the time. Have a taste of your own medicine.”   
  
The mindscape changed to the all too familiar room. Dipper walked away from Bill and flopped down on the bed, making himself comfortable. Bill didn’t dare to move. He couldn’t tell if the human was angry or not.   
  
“What do you mean, you can make me forget?” he asked.   
  
Dipper glanced at him, and then he shrugged.   
“There’s a way. I’m not sure if it will work, but logically it should. Though, you didn’t exactly earn it, did you?”  
  
There it was.   
Time to panic.   
Bill felt himself being drawn to the bed, lying down next to Dipper, who then proceeded to pull the demon on top of him, cupping his face with his hands.   
  
“You really, really fucked up. And you know it, right?” Dipper said, his voice very calm and almost a little tired.   
  
Bill desperately focused on hiding the two remaining important thoughts.   
_Hide your fear, and hide the spell you gave to Shooting Star_.   
“I know,” he breathed out, a defeated look on his face.   
  
“You wanted to help,” Dipper continued, “But you do realize that Stanford might try and kill both of us, right?”   
  
Dipper absentmindedly caressed Bill’s cheek.   
“We both didn’t expect him to be here,” the demon answered, “I really, really only meant well—I didn’t know Shooting Star would be there, either, I just wanted to heal you—“   
  
“You’re lying.”   
The look on Dippers face could have killed someone.   
  
“You _wanted_ to talk to Mabel. That’s why you possessed me in the first place, and you healed me in order to please me, so I’ll forgive you. Am I right?”, he asked, tilting his head and staring right into Bill’s widened eyes, piercing through his thoughts. Looking for the lies. The demon felt something twist in his human stomach.    
  
“No more lies, Bill,” Dipper hummed, pulling the other’s face closer to kiss his cheek. The demon closed his eyes.   
  
“Yes. You’re right. Of course you are, but I still just wanted to help you. I couldn’t possibly have known about Stanford being there,” Bill defended himself, “I know I fucked up, but I don’t have a death wish either. If I could have avoided Sixer, I—“     
  
“Alright, shut up.”   
  
Bill tensed, and a shiver ran down his spine.  
  
Dipper smiled.   
“I’m impressed, you’ve managed to hide your fear very well. This is the first time I’m actually _feeling_ it,” the human said, “Not so tough after all, are you? But believe me, I don’t actually want to hurt you. I love you, Bill. But you could be a little more… cooperative.”   
He sighed, and went on,   
“So, at least help me out now. How are we going to get rid of Stanford?”   
  
Two bright yellow eyes stared at him in disbelief.   
  
“You… _what?_ You don’t mean that right now, do you?”, Bill whispered. Under other circumstances, he would have laughed. Was Dipper actually ready to kill his own great uncle, just to keep him imprisoned in his mind? After all this time, he still didn’t fail to surprise the demon.   
  
Dipper’s smile faded, and he sighed, a glint of sadness in his brown eyes.   
“I wish I didn’t mean it, but I want to be prepared for the worst case. Even if Stanford doesn’t plan on simply killing me to solve the problem, he’d still try everything to get rid of you. And I’m supposed to pretend that this is what I want, too. You _really_ got me into a bad situation here, so help me figure something out. If you manage to come up with one hell of a good idea, I might even forgive you.”   
  
The demon got pulled into another kiss. How was he supposed to concentrate with these beautiful, soft lips moving against his own? He sighed a little. One moment he was seriously scared, the next he felt all safe and sound and affectionate. This rollercoaster of emotions was really hard to handle. Their lips parted again, and he started to spread little kisses and bites on Dippers neck, but the movement was not his own, he was being controlled. Bill knew that right now, the human just wanted a little distraction and relief to make his huge problem seem a little smaller.   
  
“Any idea yet?”, Dipper asked, slowly unbuttoning the other’s shirt.   
  
“You don’t have to kill him. There are… other ways,” Bill muttered. His hands rested on Dippers hips. He wanted to take his stupid clothes off, wanted to kiss him more roughly, wanted to—  
  
“Tell me,” Dipper demanded, gripping Bill’s hair and pushing his face right back to his overly sensitive neck, demanding more stimulation. And control or not, the demon was going to fulfill his desires.   
  
“We could,” he whispered, and his hot breath against Dipper’s neck made the human shiver, “Readjust his memories. Not erase them, that won’t work because of the damn metal plate in his head. But it’s possible to just put a few important memories somewhere else, so he’ll start to completely confuse things. He won’t be able to tell that something happened to his memories, and he’ll eventually be too confused to even know why he came here in the first place.”   
  
“What’s the catch?”   
  
“The catch is that _you_ won’t be able to pull this off, because it’s not a spell I can teach you. I’ll have to do it while possessing your body, and it will take a lot of time. Stanford has to be asleep for this to work, and we’d have to somehow make sure that he doesn’t wake up.”  
  
Dipper hummed.   
“I’m not an idiot, Bill,” he said, smiling a little.   
  
“I know,” the demon admitted, finally taking off the others shirt and starting to place kisses all over his chest. His fingers were playing with the human’s sensitive nipples, earning little noises of pleasure every now and then.   
  
“A deal,” Dipper sighed, “We’re gonna make a deal out of this.”   
  
Bill suddenly laughed.   
“Which one of us is the demon, again?” he asked tauntingly, and was quickly shut down with a rough kiss. Not that he’d complain about the kiss, but he didn’t like the fact that Dipper was playing with the idea of using demonic deals against him. He was in deep shit already, but things could still get worse. Being a demon was all about tricking people into taking a deal, one that leaves enough holes in it’s terms for the demon to get a lot more out of it than the client intended. The deals he made were binding, but more for Bill than for the human taking the deal. And that was a huge weakness not many people knew about. Unless the other person messed up their end of the deal, the demon was unable to call a deal off. If Dipper was aware of this, then Bill’s problems just multiplied.  
  
“I’ll let you possess me, but you will let me see and hear everything you do. You will not kill or hurt my body, or try to, or convince a third party to do it,” Dipper said these words loud and clear, “You will use the spell on Stanford, make sure he won’t be a threat to you and me anymore, and as soon as you’re done I will take over again. In return, I’ll forgive you for what you’ve done and will not punish you.”   
  
“That’s a real lousy deal for my end, Pine Tree.”   
It had been a whole while since Bill had last used this nickname.   
  
“Alright,” Dipper sighed, “And I’ll completely stop controlling your body when we’re having sex. This term will be invalid in case you give me a reason to punish you. I’m being really generous right now, Bill. Don’t ask for any more than that.”   
  
Bill gritted his teeth. The other wasn’t a naive kid anymore, he’d learned to not leave any holes in a deal.   
“So what if I don’t take it?”, the demon growled, but the attempt to intimidate Dipper completely failed. There was that horrible smile again.   
  
“You better.”   
  
All of a sudden, Bill felt tears filling the corners of his eyes. His chest started to hurt in a weird, non-familiar way, and he took a sharp breath. What was happening? He started to shake a little, and felt like there was an invisible weight on his shoulders, something that made him want to just give up, to fall, to stop moving forever. The stinging pain in his chest made the tears fall, and Bill suddenly felt like pressing his upper body against Dippers.   
It hurt. But what exactly hurt?   
Something in his chest, or was it all in his head?   
Was it the heart?   
Which one of his organs was he supposed to rip out to make this stop?!   
  
“Stop! You’re doing something to me, aren’t you?!”, he cried out. Dipper soothingly caressed his back, not smiling anymore, but wearing a painful expression.  
  
“Emotional pain is awful, isn’t it? I can recall these feelings very well.”   
  
Bill’s eyes widened in fear, and more tears found their way all over his face.   
“N-no—Fine, I’ll take the stupid deal! JUST STOP!”  
  
It didn’t get better right away, but the negative emotions stopped pouring down on him like a waterfall. How? How did humans deal with shit like this, at all? Clinging to Dipper and trying really hard not to sob or make any other pathetic, weak noises, he held up his right hand, now glowing with blue fire.   
And they shook on it.

 


	13. Suspicion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of talking through the mind in this chapter, I hope you're not too confused.
> 
> As always, thank you so much for the comments and kudos!  
> On we go; enjoy.

* * *

 

Two days later, Dipper was released from the hospital. Stanford and Mabel had visited him one more time the day before, and they actually had been coming up with more than one possibility to get Bill out of Dippers head.  
  
Mabel considered using a memory gun, but Stanford said he only had one of them left and didn’t take it with him when he came here. Also, he still wanted to get rid of Bill, so he wanted to try and come up with a solution that would kill the demon for good, without killing Dipper.  
  
Dipper didn’t trust his great uncle on this one. He was still convinced that if it weren’t for Mabel, Ford would simply kill him – for the greater good. Stanford then said that he had been researching a ritual that might do the trick, but he didn’t tell anything specifically about it, saying that it wasn’t ready for use yet. To Dipper, that just meant his great uncle didn’t trust him either, and that’s why he would keep big parts of the plan from him. He was definitely suspicious. Dipper sighed. Did he slip up somewhere in his story? He had to be very careful around Ford. Maybe the old man was planning something else entirely. Dipper hoped that he would get a chance to alter his memory sometime soon. 

“So, first to your flat to get some of your stuff, then home?”, Mabel asked as they slowly walked over to her car. She absentmindedly played with the keys in her right hand.  
  
“Yeah, that’d be great. I need some of my study books, and clothes…”  
  
“I’m pretty sure you don’t have any clothes left that don’t need to be washed.”  
  
Dipper rolled his eyes.  
“Yeah, yeah. I still need to get them so I can wash them at home.”  
  
“You mean so _mom_ can wash them,” Mabel added.  
  
“Geez Mabes, what’s with the guilt tripping? I was just released from hospital, in case you forgot,” Dipper said, laughing a little.  
  
“Just teasing you, knuckle-head,” she answered. Dipper could tell by the tone of her voice that she was still very upset. He planned on changing that soon, but it was still hard to even look at her.  
  
“You’re still worried?” he asked quietly.  
  
“Of course I am. And I’m pretty close to freaking out too, to be honest, because I expect Bill to be right next to me at any second. By the way, what is even happening in your head, with him being trapped in there? Is he… giving you nightmares and stuff like that? Manipulating you?”  
  
The sidewalk was suddenly very interesting as Dipper stared down, counting stones.  
“Not… not now, Mabel. I’ll tell you everything, but this conversation will take a while. Later, okay? And don’t worry, I got him more or less under control. He won’t be taking over my body anytime soon. Promise.”  
  
Mabel narrowed her eyes, but her brother didn’t see it.  
“Alright. Then later,” she agreed as they reached their destination, “Need help getting in the car?”  
  
“Nah, I’m fine,” Dipper said, and it was true, his broken leg didn’t hurt too bad and he could manage walking with the crutches just fine by now.   
  
“Good, then let’s get your stuff. And don’t you dare change the CD, I really want to listen to my jam right now.”  
  
Dipper groaned as he got into the car. Fearing that his great uncle might try to kill him was one thing, listening to the same horrible Korean boy band on endless repeat was another. What a cruel world.  
  
“Say,” he started, suddenly getting an idea, “How about we visit Ford on our way home, too? Maybe he’s come up with something new by now. You said his rented apartment was somewhere close to our parent’s home, right?”  
  
Mabel’s grip on the wheel tightened.  
“Sure,” she said with her usual cheery voice, shooting a smile at her brother, “let’s do that!”

 

* * *

  
Of course, Ford didn’t tell them anything new. Dipper was very, very sure by now that the old man was just keeping his mouth shut about his actual plan because he was suspecting him. It made things more difficult, of course, but Dipper didn’t want to visit him to chat anyways.  
No, he wanted to know exactly where Ford lived, how to get there, and figure out a plan how to break into the apartment at night. They went to Dippers flat before, getting some of his clothes and books and other stuff, that _other stuff_ including the dream trapper, another weapon, and Dipper’s strongest sleeping pills as well as some knockout drops. He’d been using both on himself during the experiments on his own mind. He happened to know a guy from back in high school whose father was a pharmacist, and with _just_ the right amount of money, the guy always got him everything he ever wanted. The real reason why Dipper had even bothered to get a job. He hid the weapon within his dirty clothes that Mabel wouldn’t even touch with pincers, and the drugs in his pockets.

The rest was surprisingly easy. While they visited Ford and talked to him, Dipper was analyzing the apartment their great uncle was staying in. It was on the first floor, which was already a great help, and even better – it was very old. Ford probably went for the cheapest he could get when he came here. No need to break in through the front door when all the windows were huge and in dire need of renovation. No one would even be surprised if one of them broke.  
  
Dipper hoped that they were the same old windows in every room as he excused himself into the bathroom, and it was a jackpot. The bathroom windows lead to the backyard. It would have been too risky to try and break into a house in the middle of the night from the front street.  
  
His greatest luck however was that Stanford preferred to drink sparkling water over faucet water, so all he had to do excuse himself one more time and leave the room to get something to drink while Mabel and Ford were talking, then put the knockout drops into every single bottle in the fridge. Better safe than sorry. Of course, everything was still very risky. But he had to take action before Ford did. 

Everything seemed to go smoothly, and Dipper was surprised at himself. Usually, the situation would be too much and his anxiety would flare up like some fireworks. But for some reason he was able to stay completely calm. Not just calm, but also excited, and this weird feeling he could only describe as being _alive_. For now, he thought. Breakdowns always occurred when he least expected them.  
  
„We’re doing this tonight, Bill.“

_Done with preparations already?_

_„_ It was easier than expected.“

_If you really manage to knock him out with these drugs or whatever, there’s honestly not much that could go wrong. I’ll have enough time to carefully choose which memories to switch around._

_„_ It better work out. I might be somewhat of a criminal already, but I really don’t want to become a murderer.“

_Too bad. It would suit the current you. Would almost be fun to watch._

_„_ ‘Current me’?“

_Forget it._

_„_ I know you don’t have a sense of time in there, but it’s 3 pm now. I’m going back to Ford’s place around midnight. He should have gone to sleep by that time, or he’ll be knocked out.“

_You’re saying we might find him collapsed on the kitchen floor? Hilarious._

_„_ Are you able to make him believe that it wasn’t because of drugs, just in case?“

_If I remember correctly, back when we worked together on the portal Sixer had multiple breakdowns like that simply from not sleeping or eating enough. He never really took good care of himself. So, yes, that’s easy to switch._

_„_ Good. I’m on my way to my parent’s home now, I’ll rest a bit there. As in… a little distraction would be nice. Not forcing you of course, deal and all.“ 

_Thirsty little bitch._

Dipper smirked. Couldn’t deny that one. 

 

* * *

 

He went out later than planned, because Mabel had stayed up until 1 am. He was able to see a reflection of the lights in her room in the window of their neighbors, so he waited for them to go out. When it finally happened, he sneaked out. Easier said than done, after all he was still using crutches.  
  
He went out through the terrace door. His parents would hear if he were to use the main entrance. He could try opening and closing it very carefully, but he didn’t want to take any risk. However, if he would actually end up being caught, he could simply pretend another breakdown and that he wanted to leave in the middle of the night to end his life. They would most likely believe it. 

The way to Stanford and back was honestly the worst part about this plan. Dipper wasn’t exactly in the state to take a walk this far. After having gone half the way he considered calling a taxi, but decided that any witness of him going to Stanford’s place was way too dangerous. Instead, he asked Bill if he was willing to take over and go the rest of the way for him, and surprisingly enough the demon agreed.  
  
_That’s really sweet of you, Bill. Thanks._  

“Shut up,” the demon hissed, not only going the rest of the way with Dipper’s instructions, but also using the opportunity to heal his injury a little bit.  

_You know, I think I’m starting to understand why you really wanted to heal me._

Oh no.  
Fuck no.  
If Dipper figured that one out then Bill might just as well wish for death. 

“Maybe it’s because you’re so helplessly in love _and_ obsessed with me that you, intentional or not, project these feelings onto me. So I just happen to feel affection for you too, and don’t want you to be hurt. Not anymore. Now shut the fuck up.” 

It was partly the truth, which was why Dipper believed him. Telling just little bits of the truth, the unimportant ones, had become Bill’s most important weapon in order to hide his thoughts for the past…  
Weeks?  
Months?  
How long had he been trapped in his mind already?

_You’re adorable sometimes. I really love you, Bill. If I’m influencing you on this one, I’m honestly not doing it on purpose. I never would, because I kinda want the real you to love me._

“That sounds really sappy. Our story isn’t exactly the Disney kind of story, Pine Tree.” 

Bill clenched his teeth. Was Dipper telling the truth? Was he really not influencing Bill’s affection on purpose? These were… his own feelings? But why? He should hate him for all the things he’d done, and he was terribly scared of the things that still were about to come, so _why_ did some part of him still care about him? Was this a fucked up version of what humans called Stockholm syndrome?  
  
He shook his – Dipper’s - head for a moment. This really wasn’t the time to think about that. They had reached the street in which Stanford’s apartment was. 

_Go to the alley on your right. You’ll see a fence soon, it’s the neighbour houses backyard. Climb over the fence. Stanford’s backyard is on the other side of this one. Then you just have to carefully break up one of the bathroom windows, and you’re in._

And so he did.  
Breaking the window, or at least carefully doing so, wasn’t as easy as Dipper had made it sound. But with a harmless little fire spell and quite a bit of patience, he was able to melt down two of the hinges and open the windows in a more or less quiet way.  
  
He climbed through the window, and had to stop himself from laughing at the sight.  
  
It was just as Dipper had said, only that it hadn’t happened in the kitchen. Stanford had passed out on the bathroom floor, a toothbrush with the paste still on it lying right next to him.  
Bill crept closer, putting the palm of his hand on the old man’s forehead.  
  
“All safe. He’s completely gone. Good job.”  
Oh, how easy it would be to just kill Stanford right now, right here.  
After all these years, finally…If it wasn’t for the stupid, damned deal. Of course, the deal didn’t say that he wasn’t allowed to kill Stanford, but at the same time it didn’t leave him any loophole to actually do it. He had agreed to alter his mind, and for that to happen Stanford must be alive. And part of the deal was that Dipper would take over right after he was done with the job.  
  
Now, if he were human, he could break the deal by refusing to carry out the job. But that was the big weakness of demons. The human could refuse to carry out the deal, not without punishment of course, but the demon had to fulfill his end no matter what. It was binding, and Dipper seemed to know about that. It made Bill shudder, realizing one more time just how much worse his situation could still become. 

Bill sighed, hiding his fear, stretching his weak vessel for a moment.  
“Let’s get this over with.”  

Dipper had brought the necessary chalk with him so Bill could draw his ritual stuff on the floor, but since the bathroom floor wasn’t exactly suited for this, he first had to carry the old man out of there and into the next room. He then proceeded to draw strange symbols in a circle similar to the cipher zodiac Dipper knew, but he didn’t know any of the symbols Bill was drawing. Of course, it was fascinating to him, which was the main reason why he had made letting him see the process a part of the deal. The only thing he recognized, even though it was weirdly written, was the word ‘ _copula_ ’. 

_Copula? As in, the grammatical term for conjunction?_

“It’s Latin, as you might know, and you might also know that Latin isn’t a dead language for nothing.” 

_Officially for different reasons, but you probably mean because certain Latin words contain magic. But this is a rather common word. What does it have to do with altering memories?_

“The grammatical term isn’t far off from how this works. Not about to get philosophical here, but you humans wouldn’t just be unable to communicate without language, you would also be unable to think at all. Your mind and your memories are heavily tied to the concept of language. Copula means a connection, or a strong bond. Imagine it like… a film tape, for example. A film tape that represents your life and your memories, the tape itself representing the connection between those memories,” he sighed for a moment, finishing up the circle by drawing the last few symbols, “I’ll tell you more about it some other time if you want to, for now the details are to complicated. Long story short, I’m gonna mess with that film tape in your great uncle’s head.”

_I kinda get it, but I’d love to hear more. By the way, the term is used in math as well._

“Math is a language, too,” Bill replied, starting to sound a little tired, “Damn it, could you take a little better care of your body? At least try to eat enough, you’re not making this easy for me.” 

_How much longer?_

“At least 25 minutes.”  
Bill reached for the small, sharp knife in Dipper’s pocket. The urge to kill Stanford started to rise again, but there was nothing he could do. The knife was here for another reason. He needed Stanford’s blood for this to work, but just a few drops would already do. He just took the old man’s hand and placed it right over the weirdly written _copula_ , carefully cutting into one of his fingers. Then he drew an X over the word with that bloody finger. And with that, the entire circle started to glow.  
  
“It’s working.” 


	14. Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, I hope you guys are ready for the emotional rollercoaster that is chapter 14.

* * *

 

And it really did work.   
  
Dipper expected at least something to go wrong, to get caught on his way home or anything like that. But after all, thinking every possible outcome through and coming up with a Plan B or C for everything had not been necessary. Bill did a good job finishing the ritual and cleaning the place of every little trace. It was almost too easy.   
  
And that’s what got Dipper thinking over every little thing one more time.   
Did he forget about something? Or could it be that Stanford had been prepared for something like this, too? But he had asked Bill before if the old man knew about this spell, and the demon denied. He sighed a little as he looked at the ceiling of his room, a little upset that he couldn’t relax even though he went through all this trouble to make sure his great uncle wouldn’t be a threat to him anymore. Or to Bill. Or to both of them.   
  
_What about your sister, now?_  

Dipper didn’t answer. He allowed Bill to talk to him again whenever he was alone. It amused him a little how the demon was honestly glad about it. At the end of the day, Bill had a few human traits he definitely didn’t get from Dipper.   
Sometimes, the whole thing about them switching emotions and all worried Dipper, but he usually shrugged it off because it was way too late to worry about that. The best thing about it was his realization of being able to control it, at least to some extent. He hated to do it of course, he truly did. He didn’t want to hurt Bill. But it was simply good to know that he was able to do just that.   
  
Figuring out how the mindscape worked had been a long process, and letting Bill in was very risky. He had plenty of experience with himself in the mindscape, but having another sentient being in his head was new. Which is why he had been honestly scared at first. And why he had let Bill have his way for a while without controlling him in any way, because he still needed to try if it would work or not.   
  
Bill never noticed, but even before Dipper had used the gun, he had been able to manipulate the demon into doing what he wanted. Not directly, but just by planting thoughts and wants into Bill’s mind. Until Dipper was absolutely sure that he was able to go for full control over him, just in case.   
In case Bill would want to leave him.   
  
Oh, how much easier things would’ve been, if Bill had just decided to stay and not interfere with Dipper’s private life. But it wasn’t a bad thing. After all, it meant the demon honestly cared for him. It made Dipper smile. Being cared for and being wanted – those were nice feelings, really nice. 

_If you’re going to ignore my question, at least give me something else to talk about!_

“Wow, someone’s desperate,” Dipper laughed a little, “You should know that I prefer listening over talking.” 

_I’m not desperate. And I know. But it’s not like I have someone else to talk to._

“Implying you wouldn’t want to talk to me anyways.”

_I wouldn’t if I had someone else._

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” 

_I never sleep._

“I know, it’s just a phrase.” 

_So, are you gonna answer my question or not?_

Dipper eyed his bedroom door. He always talked very quietly to Bill. Just in case.   
“I’ll deal with Mabel today. I’ve done this before, I simply don’t like it, but it helps.” 

_What helps?_

“Telling her all of my problems.”

Bill paused. Inside Dipper’s head, the demon became incredibly nervous. He had to try his hardest to stay calm, so the other wouldn’t notice. He had been right. Right about everything, right about giving the spell to Shooting Star. But right now he also wished he could protect himself somehow, because he was _fucking scared_ of the human’s reaction. He’ll find out eventually, probably today, he’ll… 

_You did that before?_

“I did, but that’s none of your business.” 

_We share this body and mind. I think it is at least some of my business._

“Nothing you need to know.” 

_You’ll shut me out of the conversation then, I guess? You’re nervous._

“Of course I will. I don’t need you butting in when I’m having private time with my sister. And no, I’m not.” 

_I don’t need you butting in when I’m having private time with myself, either. And yes, you are. I can feel it. Wish I couldn’t though._

Dipper smiled a little.   
“Fair enough. You should tell me when you want to be alone. It’s not like I don’t want you to be comfortable inside my head.” 

Bill would never be comfortable in there. Not as long as he was aware of the things Dipper could do to him. And it could still get worse. He had already been onto something when he suspected there to be another reason for healing his wounds, what if he…?

A knock on the door. 

A sigh. 

 “Looks like I can’t procrastinate this any longer. See you later, Bill,” Dipper said, and everything went silent again for the demon before he could protest. Dipper stared at the door, biting his lip. Slowly, the handle went down, and his sister peeked into the room, concern spread all over her pretty face.   
  
“Hey,” she greeted him quietly, “Is everything alright? Do you need anything? Mom said she’ll cook you something if you’re still hungry.”   
  
Dipper shook his head.   
“No, I’m fine. But,” he sighed again, deeply, “I promised to tell you everything, didn’t I? Well, I… I think now would be a good time for that.” 

Just hearing the words lightened up Mabel’s face.   
“You’ll tell me the truth? The whole truth? Don’t you dare lying to me again. I’ll notice.”   
  
Dipper smiled a little.   
“Of course you will. But no, I won’t lie. Promise.”   
  
He sat up on the bed to make room for Mabel.    
  
“You better not or the one who kills you will be _me_!”   
  
“Wow, easy there Mabes!” Dipper laughed, and this time it was a sincere laugh and smile, even though he truly was afraid of having this conversation. Of course, he technically didn’t have to tell her everything. But lying to Mabel was really, really hard – she had something like a sixth sense when it came to noticing her twin brothers lies. Another reason was that Dipper needed this. He knew very well that that he would feel much better afterwards, even if it wouldn’t last. He was aware of his illness, and he knew that telling Mabel everything was hard, but would make him feel better.

Dipper noticed that she had her cell phone in her pockets. But it was only 11 am and they had been at Stanford’s place the day before, so she wouldn’t have had a reason to call him, right…? He bit his lip. No, it should be fine. She wouldn’t trust Stanford over him, he was sure.

“I don’t quite now where to start,” Dipper admitted, staring at the ceiling, “Maybe you wanna ask me instead.”

Mabel moved her hand to bite on her nails, but there was nothing left to bite off. She had already started to bite of the skin from the edges of her nails.

“I don’t know what to ask. How about this: what’s wrong with you?” she asked.

“A lot,” Dipper answered.

Then he began telling her the entire story of how he had started feeling weird and sad ever since that faithful summer, how he had built the gun with Stanford few years later, and how he experimented on his own head with the gun in order to be prepared for Bill’s return.

And once he started to talk about the way he felt, his constant sadness and despair that made him feel so numb that he could hardly ever cry anymore, or even feel anything – that was when something broke, just as Dipper expected, and he started to cry.

Mabel quickly pulled him into a hug.

“I—I—I’m sorry M-Mabel… I’m a horrible brother and a failure, I know, and I’m sorry, I j-just don’t know what to do about this, it h-hurts…”

It was the truth. Everything hurt, he could barely breathe anymore because he was crying so hard, and the comfort his sister could give him only helped a little. Still, he had to go through this. He had done it before, and he knew he would feel much better after this. He would be able to go on. This was nothing but routine.

“Dipper, why did you never tell me that you were depressed?” Mabel whispered, tears in her eyes because seeing her brother like this was hurting her just as much. This wasn’t the Dipper she remembered from the past few years. Sure, he was always a little anti-social, but he had always been fine with that. He liked it that way, she knew that. And of course he had always been the silent type, sometimes too silent, but he hadn’t shown any signs of depression at all.

A shiver ran down her spine.

Bill had been right. But what about that last part…?

“C-couldn’t… didn’t want to… b-bother you…” Dipper choked the words out, still not able to breathe properly, hiccupping and sobbing. Oh god, this breakdown was far worse than the last one. He was shaking, his fingers tightly gripping his own arms. He felt weak and defenseless. The invisible walls that were around him at all times crumbled down.

It’s okay, he told himself.

It’s okay.

You’ll be okay.

Mabel is here.

Mabel will understand.

She’s on your side, no matter what.

It felt like hours until he was finally able to calm down. He already couldn’t remember anymore if he had told her something he shouldn’t have. It didn’t matter. This whole farce would be over soon. Mabel was still holding him, letting him lean against her shoulder, and for now he was just enjoying the moment, enjoying the comfort and warmth. It reminded him of the way Bill was holding him sometimes, even though he was the one forcing the demon to do it. It almost felt the same…

I was right.

As soon as this thought hit him, Dipper’s clear mind was back.   
  
For a moment he concentrated on Bill, trying to get a glimpse of what the demon might be thinking. Dipper had a strange feeling all of a sudden. Was Bill… waiting for something?

“Feeling any better?” Mabel asked, carefully stroking his back.

“Y-yes… would you mind getting me a glass of water?”

Did she tense up all of a sudden, or was Dipper imagining things?

“Sure thing bro-bro. Be right back!”

 

As soon as she was gone, Dipper reached under his bed to grab an all too familiar weapon. He was calm again, and it was time for the next step. But there was still something bothering him. Something just wasn’t… right.

“Bill, what are you doing?” he whispered.

_I’m not doing anything. And what was that about me being able to choose when I want to be alone? I could do with some alone time right now._

“Did you tell Mabel something else? Something I should know of?”

Silence followed, and Dipper could feel it, he could feel the guilt and how desperately Bill was trying to hide something. Dipper gritted his teeth.

“Tell me what it is. Right now.”

More silence.

“TELL ME!”

“Dipper?”

Mabel had been faster than expected. She was standing in the door, a glass of water in her left hand. Dipper cursed under his breath. No more time to think. He would deal with Bill later.

Mabel didn’t react fast enough. She could only take a step back, and then the beam of the memory gun had already hit her head.

It all happened so fast, but it felt like minutes.  

The glass of water fell to the ground, but it didn’t shatter into pieces.

For a moment, Mabel felt dizzy, and like she was about to fall, but she didn’t. Her head started to hurt, everything around her was spinning, and then everything was blurred. Soon enough she realized that it was because she was crying.

“You… you used the memory gun on me?”, she breathed out.

Dippers eyes widened.

No...

No...! How? And why?

Fingers still on the trigger, he stared at Mabel, waiting for another reaction.

His sisters shocked expression turned into a frown.

“How often?” she asked.

“What?”

Dipper’s voice was nothing more than a whisper, and of course he had lowered the gun, he couldn’t just stand there and point a gun at his sister, he couldn’t—

“How often have you done this to me? How often did you make me forget? You did this… you did _this_ , because you didn’t want to _bother me_? How many of my memories are really missing?!”

Mabel had kicked the door behind her shut so their parents downstairs wouldn’t hear her yelling.

Dipper was too shocked to react.

Why… didn’t it work? Hands trembling, he tried to raise the weapon one more time, try it one more time, it had to work—it had to—

But Mabel was faster. She grabbed the gun out of his hand, threw it on the floor, and smashed it with her feet, just like she did back then. 8 years ago. How many memories of those 8 years were simply gone, erased because her brother had thought it was a good idea? It hurt to break the gun wearing just socks instead of shoes, but it didn’t matter, because the crunching sound of breaking glass and plastic parts was incredibly satisfying to her in that moment.

“Answer me,” she demanded, her voice a little broken.

And Dipper panicked. Really panicked this time. He had no plan B for this, no way to get out of this situation. Why didn’t the gun work on Mabel, it always did... _it always did_! He wanted to scream, mostly at himself, convince himself somehow that he was still able to turn this around, that he could still stick to the plan, but he couldn’t calm down. Instead, more tears filled his eyes and he felt like a million needles slowly pierced right through his heart, taking his breath away as he helplessly gasped for air.

“Answer me!! What were you thinking? And what have you done to great uncle Ford?! I know that something happened. He’s supposed to text me every day in the morning at exactly 8 am, and today he didn’t! Tell me!”

Dipper just stared, walking back in fear of his own sister. She… loved him, right? She would always support him, right? Was it over now? Was there no one left…?

Keep calm!  
There’s always a way!   
Just keep calm and figure it out!

He couldn’t.

**_I got you now!_  
**

Dipper took a sharp breath as he felt something familiar. Bill was trying to take over. He was trying to fight back. Of course… The demon had probably planned this. Or at least guessed that it would happen, so he could fight back while Dipper was in a weak state. His entire body started to shake, and even now he couldn’t stop crying, breathing was getting harder and harder and he was sure he would soon pass out. Good. Because if he did pass out, he could stop Bill from doing something stupid!

“W-what’s going on?!” Mabel took a step back from where her brother was standing. It suddenly looked like he was in great pain, holding his head and groaning.

“D-Dipper please! Just tell me what’s going on! Of course I’m angry, goddamnit, but I want to help you! I want my brother back!”

The next thing she saw was so surreal and horrifying that she was very sure to have nightmares about is for the next years. Dipper looked at her, and one of his eyes was completely black with a single familiar yellow slit. The other eye was still his own, his expression twisted in pain and pure anger.

She shrieked, and took another step back as Dipper – or Bill – or both of them, came closer. “S-Stay away… Stay away!!”

“Sh-Shooting Star,” she heard her brother say, and immediately knew that it was the demon talking in his voice – no one else would call her that, “Listen… I told you the truth, didn’t I? You see it now, don’t you? Your brother isn’t the same. He’s not what you believed he was. Not what he seemed to be. I never tortured or haunted him. He lied to you, and to Stanford. He’s keeping me imprisoned in his head for his own— nnggh—enter…tain…m-ment…”

He coughed his last words as Dipper was fighting back, trying to take over. The explosion of fear, anxiety and anger was almost too much for Bill.

“Don’t trust S-Stanford, there’s a high chance he wants to kill your brother—to get rid of me, of course—I’m s-still not asking you to help me but I want your brother to live, so don’t rely on— **Enough!** ”

Dipper was now kneeling on the floor, almost ripping out his own hair in a desperate attempt to stop the pain by inflicting some other kind of pain, and to take his body back. With a hopelessly distressed expression, he stared at Mabel, trying to win her over with his obvious suffering.

“Mabel, please help me! Knock me out! Please, please just do it, you have to, I need to get my b-body—back— **Don’t do it, Shooting Star, please!** ”

Mabel’s head was spinning. Was that Bill just now, using the word ‘please’?

“Mabel—don’t listen to him! He’s a demon, I’M YOUR BROTHER!”

“Are… are you…? Dipper, what you’ve done… that’s just…”  

“Mabel, please just trust me… trust me this once…!”

_Just trust me this once._

Mabel felt herself taken back, 8 years ago, the day they had encountered magical creatures for the first time in their life, and beaten them together. Because they had trusted each other.

She took the remnants of the broken memory gun and smashed them against Dippers head, successfully knocking him out.

 


	15. Obedience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has got to be the most intense chapter yet.  
> \- WARNING -  
> Violence and Rape/Non-Con. It's much worse and more explicit than chapter 8 for example, so if you can not stomach this kind of stuff, PLEASE take my warning seriously!

* * *

  

Dipper opened his eyes. The mindscape wasn’t his room, or a blank space, or anything he tried to recreate. He was unable to change it. For now, he thought. He kind of expected this to happen, because he was still in a weak state.He raised his right hand for a moment and simply stared at it. The trembling didn’t stop. His chest felt heavy and the familiar stinging pain was still there. Usually, the mindscape was his place to calm down, but today was different. Today was a ‘worst case’.But next to all the sadness, the pain, the shock and his massive headache, he was also very, very angry.  
Bill would pay for this.

“It’s only a matter of time until I find you, Bill. And I’m really not up for a game of Hide and Seek,” Dipper said loudly.  
His voice didn’t sound confident enough. It was hard to be threatening when you were hurt, confused and almost at a loss for words. Now Mabel knew, and she wouldn’t forget anymore. All these years, whenever he felt like he needed a shoulder to lean on and cry everything out for once – instead of hurting himself in some way – she was there for him, and every single time she was so worried, and so sad. Because of him. Because he was such a broken mess.  
  
The very first time he'd done this, Mabel had started to turn her own life upside down, so she could do everything for him and try to help in every possible way. They were 16. She tried to be there for him all the time, tried to cheer him up, tried to convince him to go to therapy, or try Yoga and whatever else. She even tried to find him a girlfriend. Her life was suddenly all about him. And he couldn’t stand it. He didn’t deserve to be loved like this. Mabel was throwing away her own precious time and love, and the fact that she couldn't really help him made her sad. She had been suffering because of him. It was his fault, so he needed to do something about it.   
  
That’s why he had decided to make her forget.  
  
He was convinced that he would find his own way of dealing with his problems. He tried different methods of self-harming, finding it useful to get rid of the pain in his chest. In order to defeat pain, inflict some other kind of pain. Simple as that. But that was just a small solution.  
Another one was the countless one night stands with different guys he never told his sister about. Why should he – none of them were romantic, even if some of the guys _did_ try to get to know him better. But that wasn’t what Dipper wanted. He simply wanted to get fucked, and he wanted it rough. The more painful, the better. It went on to the point when his partners in bed started to ask him if he was okay. They became soft and said things like they “didn’t want to hurt him” and that they weren’t “sure if he really wanted this”.  
Nonsense. He liked it, and it distracted him.  
Pleasurable physical pain instead of emotional pain.  
He really, really liked it.  
  
Sometimes, he had talked to Mabel about his illness again, but every time he had made her forget the entire conversation. He had started to write one diary after another, talked to people online about their experiences, and came to the conclusion that none of them would understand. Because none of them had experienced what he had. None of these people would even believe him. What point would there be in going to therapy when he couldn’t even talk about anything that had happened in Gravity Falls?

 _Gravity Falls._  
The mindscape, it was Gravity Falls. It was the Mystery Shack, down to it’s last detail.  
Of course, it had to be a place that both of them remembered very well.  
  
“If you come out now, I promise it will hurt a little _less_.”  
No answer, of course. But he could feel it.  
The fear. _Bill’s_ fear.  
Even if the demon had saved up some energy to pull this off, as long as they were in Dipper’s mind, he was the stronger one. It was only a matter of time.

“Dipper, you’re not yourself anymore!”

Bill’s voice echoed from every direction, so Dipper wasn't able to pinpoint his location. The demon was hiding behind the sign on top of the Mystery Shack, observing Dipper as he tried to find him. He hadn’t bothered changing to his triangle shape, because it was true – sooner or later, Dipper would find him.  
Of course, he was fucking scared. His only chance was to try and talk some sense into Dipper, but he wasn’t sure if that would make the situation any better. Still, he had to try. There was nothing else he could do. A dead end.

“No shit, Bill. Come out already. I have a _goddamn lot_ of time and patience, and you can’t hide forever.” Dipper began to walk around, trying to sort his thoughts and focus on finding wherever Bill was hiding. It wouldn’t take him long, he was sure.

“That anger of yours isn’t your own. You wouldn’t do these things to anyone. Not even to a demon like me. Don’t you realize? Just like I’m taking little bits of your personality, you’re taking some of mine. This isn’t you, Dipper. This is **me**.”  
He couldn’t be 100% sure about this. Maybe it really was Dipper’s own motivation, his own bloodlust, the urge to hurt someone for his own entertainment. But it didn’t seem like him, at all. Bill was sure that Dipper was subconsciously picking up the demon’s character, just like he himself felt things no demon should, because of all the time they had spend together in the same mind.

“And? If these are _your_ desires, then I have all the more reason to punish you, right?”

Bill gritted his teeth.  
“Get a hold of yourself!”

“Do you have any idea,” Dipper answered, his voice suddenly really low, “What you’ve **done**?”  
He had been looking for Bill inside the Shack, but came to the conclusion that the source of the echoing voice can’t be in here. Soon, soon he’ll have him.

“I had to do it, in order to help you! You _need_  help, and you don’t have any close friends other than your sister. She has to know about this, or you’ll never get out of it!”

“That’s not for you to decide! And help? _Help_? You **ruined everything**!”  
The intense screaming made Bill shiver for a moment.  
Still save.  
Still save, try to talk to him more, he’ll soften eventually, just like last time—

“How did you even know about this? I never told you,” Dipper growled. He slowly got back to his senses. A minute later he already felt himself able to change little bits of the scenery. Almost there.

“I knew that you had a memory gun. I saw it once, back when I wasn’t trapped in here yet. And any dream demon knows a thing or two about the worst fear of the one they are haunting. I’d be really bad at my job if I couldn’t have figured it out.”

“Great. Are you proud of yourself? Because in just a few minutes, you _won’t_ be.”

Bill took a sharp breath. He had saved up energy just for a chance to talk Dipper out of his anger, but it didn’t work. What now? Was he supposed to just accept his fate? Just how could he make the human calm the fuck down?!

“Time’s up, Bill.”  
  
The demon couldn’t even react to the fact that the other was suddenly right behind him, whispering these words into his ear. The mindscape changed to a blank, white space. Bill fell to the ground, on his back, and Dipper stepped on his chest. The demon coughed.  
  
“Dipper—please, I—“  
  
“ _Please_? What’s with the pathetic behaviour? That should be my role. You disappoint me,” Dipper said with a calm voice, “I figured it out, you know?”  
  
Before Bill could even ask what exactly he had figured out, Dipper let a sword appear in his left hand and stabbed him right through the stomach with it. Bill cried out for a moment and closed his eyes, but that was it. The weapon disappeared again.  
  
“There. You’re not feeling it. I didn’t realize how it worked until just recently. The things I can make you feel are limited to my own experiences, right? I wonder why it took me so long to realize something so fucking simple. Probably because you’re an exception to that rule. I’m guessing that it’s either because you’re a dream demon, or because my imagination sucks.”  
  
Bill shivered, but didn’t say anything.  
Dipper put more pressure on his foot on the other’s chest.  
“ _This_ is the real reason why you decided to heal me. So I wouldn’t be able to make you feel the pain the way I remember it. I obviously don’t know what it feels like to get stabbed through the stomach with a sword. But I at least would know how it feels to get stabbed right there with a cutter, if you wouldn’t have healed the wound immediately. Very clever, I have to admit. But don’t worry, Bill. I have a whole lot of other painful experiences, so we can still have a **lot** of fun.”

Bill kept his eyes closed. This was the very last thing he’d been trying to hide from Dipper, and now everything was over. No chance in hell of him ever getting out of this situation. _Dead end.  
_  
“This isn’t you”, he said one more time, but it didn’t make things any better to be aware that what was happening to him, and to Dipper, was his _own_ fault. Never before had he cursed his demonic existence, but right now, in this very moment, he did. The Dipper he knew wouldn’t hurt a fly. Both of them had changed, and Bill’s influence had slowly turned the human into a monster.

Dipper smiled. _That_ smile. That horrible, horrible smile of his.  
“True, obviously the desire to hurt others is new to me. I’ve never felt like this before,” his smile slowly turned into a small grin, something that looked so unnatural on his face that he almost seemed like a stranger, “But you know, I’m starting to understand what you like so much about it. And _you_ , my dear, are not a real person.”  
  
For a moment, Bill felt himself taken back to the day he had possessed Dipper for the first time. To the moment when he had taken a look into the mirror, at the humans face wearing his own expression. That was what he saw right now.  
How did things turn out like this?  
How would things go on from here?  
Was there any way left for either of them to get out of this, or were they simply destined to completely destroy and love each other, until one or both of them ended up dead?

Bill felt a familiar burning sensation in his eyes, indicating that he was about to cry. He swallowed hard, not wanting to seem even weaker than he already was. If the last thing he could still protect was his pride, then so be it.  
  
“There’s really no point in playing the tough guy now, Bill. Give it up.”  
  
“Like hell I will,” the demon hissed, and earned himself a kick right in his face. It felt more like a punch, but it sure did hurt. The burning feeling in his eyes became stronger, his breathing faster.  
  
“I might go easy on you if you try begging me to forgive you.”  
  
Bill glared up at him. Seriously?  
“ _Go fuck yourself_ ,” he spat out.  
And regretted it the moment he saw Dipper’s expression change.  
  
“Hah. Good idea.”  
Dipper laughed, and Bill felt himself being drawn in an upright position. His own controlled hands started to take his clothes of, one piece after another, very slowly. Slow enough to give Dipper a nice show. The demon tried to struggle against the control, but not a chance. He didn’t like one bit of where this was going.  
  
“You’ll regret it later,” Bill hissed, now completely naked and on his knees, “You always do. You always regret that you hurt me and come crawling back like a kicked puppy, begging me for forgiveness, seeking love and comfort. _You’re_ the one who’s pathetic, not me. You’re a slave to your emotions.”  
It didn’t seem like Dipper was listening at all.  
Bill’s right hand moved to his own mouth in order to cover the fingers with saliva.

Forcibly, Bill started to pleasure himself. The demon bit his lower lip and held back any noise from his mouth that wasn’t quiet cursing under his breath. His fingers closed themselves around his dick, slowly bringing it to life. His thumb rubbed over the tip, and his other hand moved through his legs, stroking the tights for a moment. Then he felt two fingers pushing against his entrance. He shivered, and Dipper’s intense staring didn’t make it any better. It didn’t take long until he was hard, shivering and sweating, but still refusing to make any noise at all, other than desperate gasps for air every now and then. The grip around his arousal tightened. He felt hot, and for a moment he wished for this moment to be nothing more than one of their countless intimate adventures, so he could actually enjoy the feeling. Not like this. No, not like this…  
  
“Remember that threesome we had once?”  
  
Bill flinched. He didn’t answer. How could he possibly forget? This was about to get worse, and as much as he valued his pride, he really did consider begging Dipper for forgiveness now.  
  
“I gotta admit,” the human said, making himself comfortable in a sitting position on the floor, “Watching is much more fun than I thought it would be.”  
  
“Shut the fuck up and get it over with,” Bill growled, but then a soft moan escaped his lips. His cock was leaking pre-cum already, and the movement of his controlled hands was getting faster. Gritting his teeth, he tried to stop himself somehow, but he couldn’t. At this rate, he would come soon. His body felt like burning up and everything inside him screamed for release. Of course the hands stopped right when he was about to get it.The demon groaned, and a quick look at Dipper told him that the other was just as aroused as he was, touching himself as well.  
  
“You’re still holding back,” Dipper said, a statement more than a question, “Why don’t you just enjoy yourself a little?”  
  
“Because I hate it,” Bill answered. His face was flushed and the tears that wouldn’t fall made his golden eyes shimmer.  
  
Dipper sighed.  
“You’re beautiful like this.”  
  
Bill felt the urge to rip that horrible smile right off Dippers face.  
Maybe scratch out his eyes.  
Maybe stab him with a hundred knifes.  
Maybe pierce thousands of needles into his heart after ripping it out.  
Maybe kiss him.

Foreign arms suddenly wrapped around his upper body, sharp teeth wandering over his neck. Hot breath on his skin made him shiver and close his eyes. A hand moved closer and closer to his crotch.  
A copy of himself, or what he used to be. It really wasn’t hard to guess what Dipper had been implying when he mentioned the threesome. He was right behind him and looked like the first form he’d ever picked out of Dipper’s dirty little dreams. Bill gritted his teeth. Everything inside his mind was screaming. Still, he refused to make any noise, didn’t want to give Dipper the satisfaction. The clones’ hand gripped his ignored arousal a little too hard. It made Bill inhale sharply, but he didn’t move or struggle. No point in doing that.  
  
Dipper moved a little closer, only to let Bill watch closely as he pleasured himself. As much as the demon hated it, it turned him on, and he felt the raging need inside him one more time – the feeling that made him want nothing more in the world than to fuck Dipper into the ground, to make him scream his name.  
He couldn’t hold back anymore.  
Moaning and aching his back, he found himself unable to move his eyes from Dippers beautiful, flushed face, and he couldn’t help but move his hips a little, to the rhythm of the clones’ movements. _Dipper’s_ movements – it was Dipper doing this to him – Fuck, his face – his beautiful expression—his moans—!

Bill groaned loudly as he came hard, his vision going white for a moment. His body turned into a hot, trembling mess, and only the copies’ arms were keeping him from falling. Dipper didn’t finish. He came closer as Bill was still trying to catch his breath. Closer. Too close. He whispered something in his ear.  
  
“Y’know what I love most? Getting fucked really, really hard - _right after I come_.”  
  
Bill inhaled sharply, his eyes widened and he immediately started to struggle.  
“No—Stop—STOP!”  
  
Nothing stopped.  
Everything hurt as the other version of himself buried his cock deep inside him, making him scream. And this time, the tears fell.  
“FUCK YOU, DIPPER! FUCK—YOU—AAH—!“  
  
He cried out. His body was still overly sensitive from his orgasm.  
_Too much, too much…! It’s too much!  
_  
The stimulation was driving him insane. The copy pushed his face, wet from tears, to the floor, thrusting into him from behind, again and again, fast and hard.  
_It hurts! FUCK, IT HURTS!  
_  
He screamed out, and then Dipper moved closer to grab him by his hair. He pushed his cock against Bill’s lips, forcing him to open them. Almost choking, he took him all the way in. Dipper's loud moaning filled the empty, quiet mindscape.  
_I can’t deal with this…!_  
  
Very few thrusts later, Dipper came right into his mouth, making his eyes tear up one more time. He swallowed everything. Bill himself didn’t feel any arousal at all, not anymore. The copy of himself was still thrusting into him. He felt as if he was breaking apart. Desperately, he looked up at Dipper, finally choking out the words he hated so much, “Please… stop…!”

For a moment, everything really did stop, and Dipper brought his hand to Bill’s cheek, caressing it lovingly.  
“I’ll stop,” he said with a very calm voice, despite being out of breath from his own orgasm, “If you agree to stay with me, and do absolutely nothing I wouldn’t allow.”  
  
No. **No, no, no!**  
Bill’s body started to shake.  
And as if Dipper had read his mind and his answer, more thrusts from behind him followed, faster and harder than before. Bill screamed out as his sweet spot was hit, and he didn’t know if it was pain or pleasure, didn’t know anymore if he wanted this or not—no he didn’t—but it felt good—No—!  
Right as the fake Bill came, filling him up, Dipper crushed their lips together and kissed him passionately. Everything hurt. There was no one behind him anymore. Just Dippers lips on his own.  
  
He felt dizzy.  
He was confused.  
He cried.  
He kissed back.  
  
“Make it a deal,” Dipper whispered against his lips, “Stay and obey me as long as I want you to, and in return I’ll never hurt you again.”  
  
“N-no…”, Bill shakily answered, “Don’t make me…! You have to stop—all this—you have to let me go, somehow, you need—“  
  
“Help?”, Dipper asked, smiling innocently, “I don’t need help as long as I have you. Now _agree to the deal_.”  
  
“NO!”  
Bill could already feel it again, the emotional pain Dipper was projecting onto him, just like last time he had forced him into a deal. No, damn it, he couldn’t agree to this!   
  
“I should’ve done this much sooner. Could’ve prevented you from ruining things with Mabel. My mistake,” Dipper murmured and kissed the demons forehead, “It’s not your fault.”  
  
More tears formed in Bill’s eyes, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to deal with the pain.  
_Do it. He will never hurt you again if you do._  
_NO!_  
“Forget it”, Bill hissed, “I’m not playing… by your rules!”  
The aching in his chest was becoming unbearable.  
  
Dipper sighed.  
He played with the demon’s blonde hair.  
  
“That’s too bad, Bill,” he said, “I really hate to hurt you more than necessary.”

For hours, the mindscape was filled with whining, begging and screams.  
Until he gave in.  
Until he truly gave up on himself.  
_It’s okay, it’s over now_ , he heard his voice, _it’s over now. I'll never hurt you again._  
_I love you._


	16. Maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I definitely have too much time here. 
> 
> No warnings necessary for this one.  
> More Mabel and finally some POV of Stanford.  
> Here's a long, calm and sad chapter that should make you think about how this story will end.  
> The /first/ ending, that is.
> 
> Yep, I can't believe I'm doing this, but I have decided to write an alternative ending, and it will be added as a very long last chapter. The second ending will go a different way from chapter 16 on.  
> Don't hope for a happy end tho, both ends are gonna be awful :)
> 
> Enjoy.

* * *

 

 

Stanford Pines sat alone in the room of an apartment he didn’t remember renting. Staring at his notes, he desperately tried to figure out what happened. If something had happened at all, or if it was all in his head. He was getting old, wasn’t he? Had he started to confuse things because of his age? Was he suffering from a disease that made him forget and confuse things? If yes, then how would he know? It would take much more time to figure something like that out.  
He stared at his notes. Earlier, he had received a call from a girl he remembered as Mabel, apparently his grand niece. But the last time he had seen or heard from the girl seemed so long ago. Many, many years. Wasn’t she there when the whole thing in Gravity Falls happened? Weirdmageddon. He remembered that, but Mabel couldn’t have been there.  
He had asked for her age earlier. 21 years old. It didn’t add up. He was completely sure Weirdmageddon had happened about 20 years ago. But his notebooks didn’t say so.  
  
His head hurt, and it wasn’t only thanks to the metal plate installed in it. When had he done that, again? It must’ve been almost 50 years ago, right? No, he didn’t know. He couldn’t tell. _Stanford Pines, you’re getting old._  
Staring at his notes, he tried to remember everything he could about him. About Bill Cipher. About the demon that had ruined his life.  
  
_“Great uncle Ford, please remember! You came here to help me—to help my brother, because Bill is back and he’s in his head! You built a weapon a few years ago that could trap Bill in someone’s mind!”_  
  
He vaguely remembered. A weapon to trap the goddamn demon in someone’s mind, in order to kill him, because erasing him out of his brothers memory 20 years ago definitely didn’t do the trick.  
But didn’t all of that happen long ago? No, it couldn’t be. If these two were only 21 years old, then it couldn’t be. Where they there or not? Did Dipper and Mabel Pines even exist when Weirdmageddon happened, or not? His mind answered both yes and no. He felt like they were there, but logically, they couldn’t have been.  
“So the question is what is the truth, and who could I possibly trust in to tell me the truth,” he loudly talked to himself.  
No way. There was absolutely no way to tell what was true and what not. All of this could be a dream or some fantasy he’s trapped in and he wouldn’t be able to tell.  
Was he going crazy?

Sighing deeply, he reached for the phone and decided to call the only person he had ever truly trusted, despite everything that had gone wrong between them. And it wasn’t like they weren’t at least a little prepared for a situation like this.

_“Hello?”_

“Stanley, it’s me.”

_“Oh hey,”_ his brothers cheerful voice rang, _“I was starting to worry. How’s it hangin in California? Everything alright?”_  
  
How was he supposed to even start this conversation?

“Say… do you remember why I wanted to come here in the first place?”

_“What do you mean?”_ Stanley seemed confused, _“You were all worked up because the kids got in trouble with the damn demon again. Don’t tell me that it was a sick joke or something, because while I am a man of bad jokes, that wouldn’t be funny.”_

Stanford took a deep breath.  
“The sailor got lost in the storm.”

Silence, then an answer, and this time his brother’s voice sounded much more calm and serious,  
_“His treasure is save with me.”_

“Oh, thank god,” Stanford whispered, incredibly relieved about the right answer. It was a code question they had chosen after the events of Weirdmageddon, just in case of Bill coming back, they would always be able to tell if one of them was possessed or not. So they would always be able to trust each other. And right now, it was his only way of convincing himself that he was not crazy.

_“Ford, tell me what happened,”_ Stanley demanded, now sounding very, very worried.

“I don’t know. Something isn’t right. Stanley, did I have trouble remembering things before I left Gravity Falls? And when exactly did I leave Gravity Falls?”  
He stared at the calendar on his wall.

_“Not really. That would be new to me. It’s been two weeks since you left.”_

It didn’t add up, again.

“Something is wrong with my memory. I don’t remember the exact reason why I came here, or what exactly I was planning to do.”

_“You didn’t tell me your exact plans. But after Mabel’s first call, you went through all your documents about Bill. You were looking for a way to force him out of someone’s head,”_ Stanley said, then he sighed deeply, _“Damn it… I should’ve come with you after all. Is there anything I can still do?”_

He vaguely remembered telling his brother to stay in Gravity Falls. But why hadn’t he told him the plan? Had it been something he didn’t want Stanley to know about? Something his brother would have stopped him from doing?  
No. It couldn’t be.  
“Did I find something? Did I tell you about it? The memory seems so far away that I just… can’t reach it. But you’re telling me everything happened about two weeks ago,” he said, “How many years since Weirdmageddon? Was it 20 years, or eight years?”

_“Eight years. And yeah, I think you found a way, and before you left you gave me two pages of nonsense to hold on to. I suppose it’s written in some kind of code.”_

“That’s it!” Stanford called out, and he suddenly had to laugh out of relief, “That’s it. That's what I need. Can you send these two pages to me as soon as possible?”

_“Sure, if that’s all. Hm… hey, Stanford?”_

“Yes?”

_“Be careful. Please.”_

“Of course.”

Lost in thoughts, he tried to find the memory of his motivation to come here. He had tried to figure out from his few notes and the things he had taken with him. Why was there nothing on how to possibly force Bill out of someone’s head, just like Stanley had mentioned?  
It couldn’t be that he had actually decided to kill the boy instead, right?

 

* * *

 

 

As always, Bill had no idea how much time had passed in the mindscape. How much time since he had given up on himself.  
Dipper was still with him in the mindscape. It almost seemed like he didn’t want to wake up anymore. Bill had not been talking for an entire while. He was too busy thinking through everything that had happened, and about the real meaning of their new deal. It was the wording of the deal that was the problem, and Bill – HE, of all beings – had not noticed it.  
He remembered Dipper’s first idea being that Bill would ‘not be able to do anything he wouldn’t allow’. But he had changed the wording of it for the actual deal that happened much later.

_“Stay and obey me as long as I want you to, and in return I’ll never hurt you again.”_

Complete Obedience.  
As long as Dipper wanted him to.  
The wording of this deal was so simple, yet it meant so much more than it seemed.  
The question was if Dipper was aware of the possibilities. He probably was.

Bill blinked.  
Why did he even care?  
It was over. Everything was over. He had lost his entire former existence thanks to this deal. And there was absolutely nothing he could do, not anymore. There was only one way, and it was accepting his fate with Dipper, and accepting any way Dipper decided to go. His own will didn’t matter anymore.  
Still, he was curious about how things would go on from here. Never in his entire existence had he been in a situation like this, so he couldn’t tell what would happen next. Curiosity killed the cat, the humans said, but for him there was nothing left to lose.

“Pine Tree?”

He had started calling him by his nickname again. He was above Dipper, hovering in the air despite being in human form. Old habits.

“Hm?” Dipper answered, not looking up from the sketchbook on his desk.

“How does the Dream Trapper work?”

Dipper turned his head up to look at him. He didn’t seem surprised.

“I don’t know how exactly it works. Ford did most of the work. All I know is that it’s using the same kind of power, force-field or magnetism – whatever you want to call it – that made you unable to leave Gravity Falls.”

Ah.  
The Equation Sixer wouldn’t tell him, back then.  
That very small step that had been between him and his goal of world domination. Incredible how far away, how completely out of his grasp these plans were today. He had been so close. So close to fulfilling his dreams of a world with his own rules. An entertaining and perfect world where anything could happen and nothing was impossible.  
He had been so close, and now there was none of it left, not even the small taste of victory he got to experience back then. All gone.

Gone, just like him.  
Bill Cipher, as the world might have known him, was no more.

“You’re not waking up,” the demon said, a statement rather than a question.

“Tell me something I don’t know, Bill.”

“Depends on what you want to know. I know lots of things, after all.”  
For a moment, he completely forgot about his situation and smiled about his own words. At least parts of his personality were still left. And when he realized it, he thought that maybe it wasn’t that bad to accept this fate.

Dipper laughed a little.  
“Right. I actually have access to every secret of the universe now.”

“Exactly.”

“I can’t think of a single question at the moment.”  
His twelve year old self would have been overjoyed. Too bad that nowadays he was unable to experience joy the way he did back then.

“I guess you have a lot of time to come up with some, Pine Tree.”

Dipper closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.  
“Bill… you’re supposed to hate me.”  
He’d been trying to find the right words for a whole while now.

“I know. I want to, but I can’t. You’re the worst human being I ever met, and I won’t forgive you for what you’ve done. Never. But for some reason I still can’t bring myself to hate you.”  
Bill’s voice sounded kind of melancholic. Nothing hurt anymore, because he had agreed to the deal. The extreme pain he had experienced not long ago seemed unreal now, surreal almost. As if it hadn’t actually happened. He couldn’t forget, but what was left of it – little stings in his chest when he remembered this or that – weren’t enough to even bother him.  
Was it better like this? Had it been worth it?

“Are you reflecting my feelings on this? This whole thing about us… ‘exchanging’ our emotions and personalities, again?”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

Dipper had been wondering about it for a while. It wasn’t exactly among the things he had expected when he had trapped the demon in his mind. The question was: how far would it go? How much would both of them change, if they kept spending years over years together?

“Hm. I have a question now,” Dipper said, tilting his head, “What happens to humans when they die?”

“Their souls spend a few hundreds of years regaining their energy, and will be drawn to a new vessel once ready. The bodies die, not the souls.”

“So technically, you’d still be mine even if I die?”

_As long as I want you to._

“Yeah,” Bill answered casually. He really, honestly didn’t care anymore.  
Pointless. Everything was so fucking pointless.  
After all, Dipper could simply order him to tell him things, or not to lie, or anything like that. He would have to obey every single command. No more pain, though.  
Just pleasure, and something that might be affection.  
Probably way too fucked up to call it love.  
Maybe it wasn’t all that bad.  
Maybe it was the worst.

Bill kept asking himself over and over if it had been worth it to sacrifice his own existence, his freedom, everything that made him Bill Cipher, just to escape the pain. But no matter how often he visualized the question, no matter from how many angles he tried to look at the situation, there was no answer.  
Maybe, maybe not.

“You don’t want to wake up?” Bill asked, hovering upside down in front of Dipper, studying the others expression. It seemed like the human was somewhere far, far away. Not in the mindscape, and not in the real world.

Dipper didn’t answer.  
How would things go on from here? The plan had been to make Mabel forget, then convince Stanford that Bill wasn’t back - that he was getting old and his paranoia was going out of hand. It could have been perfect.  
But now Mabel knew, and the memory gun was destroyed. How could he possibly convince Mabel that things were alright like this? That everything was fine, now that he had Bill under full control? He had asked Bill for possibilities earlier, some kind of magic that wouldn’t hurt Mabel but would make her forget, but the demon didn’t know any way around his own spell either. And he was unable to lie about it.  
  
Maybe not waking up wasn’t such a bad idea.

 

* * *

 

 

  
Mabel Pines was in absolute distress.  
Two days earlier she had knocked her brother out because he asked her to, and ever since he had not been waking up. At a loss for what to do now, she had locked Dippers room from the inside and climbed through his window to her own room, so it would seem like Dipper didn’t want to leave his room.  
But that only worked the first day, and then she had to convince her parents that Dipper only wanted to see her and no one else at the moment, and that it would be very bad for him if they were to question him about things now. She had promised her parents that she would take care of him and that he will talk to them soon. She had brought breakfast and lunch and dinner to Dipper’s room, trying to eat it up herself or throwing it out of the window.  
So many lies.  
Mabel hated lying to people she cared about.  
_Unlike my brother_ , she thought bitterly, but at the same time couldn’t really judge him for it. While she had not known how bad his situation really had become, she always knew that he was putting everything and everyone else above himself. And whenever something went wrong in his life, he blamed himself for it.  
She had always tried to talk him out of this, but in the end it was the one thing that never changed about him. What she had not seen was just _how_ much worse his way of thinking had become.

“Please wake up,” she whispered, not expecting any answer.

A few times in the past two days, she had considered asking Stanford for the spell that would make it possible to invade Dipper’s mind herself, just like they had followed Bill into Stanley’s mind when they were kids. But she didn’t know if that would do any good, and on top of bad things happening, her great uncle’s memory was a mess all of a sudden.  
She was absolutely convinced that Dipper had done this to him. She didn’t know how, but after what happened two days ago it just made sense. Dipper was definitely trying to make them forget about the fact that Bill was in his head.  
  
_“I never tortured or haunted him. He lied to you, and to Stanford. He’s keeping me imprisoned in his head for his own—enter… tain… m-ment…!”_

Mabel shuddered.  
That couldn’t be true, right?  
No, that was most likely a lie to draw her on Bill’s side. Her brother had done something horrible, but it was all because of his stupid complex, because he thought he had to fight everything alone and didn’t want to bother anyone else with his problems.  
Right…?  
She sighed deeply, staring at her sleeping brother. His breath was even. His face didn’t show any expression. No sign of bad dreams.  
And what if Bill had been telling the truth about this, too? What would that even _mean_?

_“Don’t trust Stanford—there’s a high chance he wants to kill your brother— to get rid of me—!”_

No. No, no, no.  
She refused to believe something like this. He wouldn’t. Who would kill someone in their family over this stupid triangle asshole?   
That couldn’t be! Or so she tried to tell herself.   
But she wasn’t twelve years old anymore, and looking at the big picture, thinking of what the goddamn weapon really had been created for…  
Yeah, who would kill someone in their family over a demon who had ruined their life and almost caused the apocalypse? Stanford probably would.  
Maybe. She wasn’t sure anymore.  
She wasn’t sure because she never trusted him as much as she trusted Stanley. Because they never had enough bonding time to even get to know each other. Because only Dipper and Stanford had spend a lot of time with each other, and _both_ of them had always been paranoid and obsessed when it came to Bill.  
No, hold on.  
_Think, Mabel. If he really wanted to kill Bill along with Dipper, wouldn’t he have done it already?_  
She wasn’t sure about anything anymore. But she was Mabel Pines, and if there was something she was really good at, then it was bringing out the best in her brother. Maybe this ability was something she could use on her great uncle too.  
  
Tonight Mabel would bring her brother away from here, to her own flat. She had to talk to Stanford before even considering bringing him there.  
Running away from home and hiding from her parents sounded like something a twelve year old would do. With slightly trembling fingers, she carefully pushed Dipper’s bangs back, exposing his birthmark.  
What’s to become of the two of them now?  
Would she ever be able to fully trust him again?  
_Please, please wake up soon._


	17. Fallen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> I've decided that chapter 18 will be the LAST chapter;  
> chapter 19 will be an epilogue to 18. I'll upload those two at the same day. 
> 
> BUT: There will be a chapter 20.  
> 20 will be one very long chapter with an alternative ending from chapter 16 onwards. 
> 
> This chapter is a bit short again.  
> The next one will be the finale as I had it planned, hope you're ready :)  
> And THANK YOU so much for over 300 kudos!  
> That's more than I ever expected to achieve with this! ♥
> 
> -

* * *

 

 

Dipper wasn’t sure what he expected when waking up, but it wasn’t exactly lying on a bed with his hands tied together on his back.  
He blinked, still incredibly tired. He had no idea how long he had really been asleep but he felt like he got ran over by a car. Groaning, he managed to sit upright after a few minutes and took a confused look around.  
Was this… Mabel’s room?  
But not at their parents home.  
His thoughts were still slow.  
_Okay, one thing after another._ Mabel had been immune to the memory gun. His plan had failed. Bill had tried to possess him, and Mabel had knocked him out. And then he had spent a damn long time in the mindscape. He had made Bill agree to the new deal.  
And then he had procrastinated waking up, because he'd been scared. And Bill was able to keep him in the mindscape, so Dipper told him to.  
Now it was time to wake up.

Oh _god_ , he was hungry!  
What a rare occasion.  
And why exactly was he tied up like that?

Feeling extreme hunger and thirst reminded him of why he couldn’t just stay in the mindscape forever. That, and because of Mabel. If it weren’t for Mabel, maybe dying would be a nice option. But after all he’d already done to her…

He tried to get up from the bed, but he felt dizzy, and when he tried to stand everything turned black for a moment and he fell. His shoulder painfully collided with the floor because he couldn’t use his hands to prevent it. He cursed and hissed at the pain.  
Then he suddenly felt hot, almost feverish. Rapid heavy breathing and trembling followed, his sight still blurred. Within seconds, he felt like throwing up, but was there even anything left to throw up in his stomach?  
“Dipper?”  
Mabel! She must have heard something when he fell.  
His entire body was shaking now and he could only cry out for help once before his extremely fast breathing left him unable to talk.  
“Dipper! Oh, god—Stay still!”  
He heard her voice as if it was far away. But she was right next to him, right?  
“It’s okay. I’m here. Deep breaths, Dipper. Deep breaths.”  
What was even happening?  
He was pretty sure that he had never before felt so awful. Well, not physically.  
  
Minutes passed, and suddenly he noticed that he had been crying, too. His thoughts were too messed up to realize what was happening, but he was starting to see more clearly again. Mabel’s face was above him. She looked so worried.  
_Mabel, don’t worry about me._  
A few more moments passed, and he noticed that Mabel was using one of her legs to keep _his_ legs up. It was only then that he realized what was actually going on. He cursed himself for being so fucking stupid. What the hell did he expect, trying to get up in this state? He didn’t even know how long he had been asleep.  
As he realized his situation, he remembered to concentrate his breathing on his stomach. Slowly, very slowly, he was able to calm down.  
“M-Mabel, th-th—thank you—“  
“Shut up and breathe.”  
  
About half an hour later he was calm, but he still shivered and felt awful. Also, he wasn’t sure anymore whether he was feeling hot or cold, or if he was feeling anything at all. He was barely able to hold the glass of water Mabel handed him.  
Now that was a new low.  
“Slowly. I know you must be thirsty as hell, but I’m afraid if you drink or eat too fast now, you’re just gonna return it to the floor.”  
He had quite some trouble just understanding what his sister was trying to tell him. His head felt like it was about to explode. Very, very slowly, he took one small sip of water after another. He heard Mabel sigh loudly and say something about how extremely glad she was that she had learned about basic first aid stuff back when she got her driving license.  
Everything still seemed very unreal. This whole situation was so… Dipper couldn’t even find a word to describe it. But he definitely didn’t expect this to happen when he woke up. How did he end up here, and why?  
Too… exhausted…  
He was too exhausted to even think about what to do.

  
Mabel didn’t even really get to talk to him, because after just drinking a glass of water, her brother fell right back on the bed. He didn’t fall asleep again, but he seemed really out of it. His eyes were wide open and he stared at the ceiling. No point in talking. Especially not at this time of the day.  
It was 5 am.  
Just three hours earlier, she had taken Dipper from their parent’s home to her flat. She had decided to let him sleep in her bed but had tied his hands up to keep him from doing anything stupid. He’d done _enough_ stupid things in the past weeks. Months, even.  
She hadn’t expected him to wake up at this time. Lucky for him, she didn’t get much sleep herself anyways, worrying too much. Otherwise she maybe wouldn’t have heard the suspicious sound from the other room, as if someone had knocked over a chair or something. But it had been her brother collapsing on the floor.

Sighing deeply, she decided to call Stanford in a few hours.

 

* * *

 

 

  
The mindscape was still shaped like Gravity Falls because Dipper had decided to give Bill a little more freedom in here. In the end, Bill couldn’t do anything he didn’t want anyways, and the demon’s imagination was much more vivid than his own, allowing him to create any kind of fantasy space.  
His memory was also much better than Dipper’s, allowing him to recreate Gravity Falls and the Mystery Shack down to it’s last detail. Dipper felt comfortable here. Especially since his body was pretty fucked up at the moment.

“I don’t know what you expected, you hardly ate or drank anything for a while, and then you decided to just stay in the mindscape because you were scared—“

“Yeah, Bill, I know. I’m stupid. Shut up.”

The demon chuckled a little. Even though he still had absolutely no reason to laugh. He was trying to get used to the fact that he’ll never be himself again, and that he had to do whatever Dipper wanted for however long the human wanted him to. But it was in rare moments like this that he actually managed to get over it and just go o with whatever was left of his existence.

He closed his arms a little more tight around Dipper.  
The colourless attic of the Mystery Shack had only one bed in it, because Dipper found it depressing to see the old bed of his sister without her being here. It made him think for a moment. Wouldn’t it be great if they could just all be here – live here – and have a good time? Or something? And then he laughed, because he remembered saving Mabel from something similar, back in the days.

“What are you laughing about?” Bill asked. The human’s hair tickled his nose as he gently kissed his neck from behind.

“About how I saved the world once.”

“What’s funny about that?”

Dipper stared into Nothingness.  
“I think it wasn’t worth it.”

And Bill laughed, out loud. Of course he didn’t have to tell Dipper what was so extremely funny about what he just said.

The human sighed and curled up a little more, enjoying the way Bill was holding him despite not being forced to do it. It was something the demon had just gotten so used to that he didn’t want to miss out on it anymore either.  
“I still don’t know how things will go on from here. I want Mabel to understand that you’re not a threat anymore and that I just want to live on like that.”

“And you think she’ll accept that?” Bill murmured, laughing quietly.

“Probably not…” Dipper admitted.  
Or will she? Why couldn’t he predict what his sister would do? He hadn’t expected her to bring him to her flat and care for him, all alone. There was nothing Dipper wouldn’t do for Mabel. Was it still the same the other way around? Would Mabel accept Bill being with him at all times?

“Probably.”

 

* * *

 

 

While Dipper was asleep in Mabel’s room, Stanford and Mabel were talking in the kitchen.  
“So Dipper probably did something to your memories… Just, how?” Mabel asked, face buried in her hands. She was so, so done with this entire situation, but she had to keep it up. _Be strong, Mabel. You’ve always been, now just be a little stronger than that._  
  
“Only Bill could have done something like that. And he couldn’t have done it without possessing Dipper,” her great uncle answered.

Mabel flinched.  
Bill helping Dipper… out of his own will, or…?  
She sighed deeply and decided to finally fill Stanford in on this.  
“Bill told me that Dipper is keeping him in his head for his own… entertainment. Could it be that Dipper has power over Bill? That he can… force him to do things like that?”

Stanford looked like Mabel had told her that Unicorns were actually not assholes.  
“Controlling Bill in the mindscape? If that’s the case, then Dipper must have a superhuman mind control. I know what I’m talking about, I’ve had the damn demon in my head myself, and I know what a fight for control in there is like. But… Dipper being strong enough to give Bill orders? While it adds up with what is happening, I do have to say that this is rather hard to believe.”

“Right? And if he really is able to control Bill, then why the whole accident back then?”

For a moment, the old man was quiet. He had to think everything through, but with his messed up memories, he was definitely going to need Mabel’s help.

“Mabel, we… did visit your brother in the hospital, right? What happened there? Specifically, what did he _tell_ us?”

Mabel sighed deeply. It wasn’t that the old man had forgotten about everything, he just had a whole lot of trouble remembering things, and Mabel herself didn’t know what to do about Bill at all. She needed him.  
“Yes, we did. Dipper told us that Bill had started haunting him and giving him nightmares, until he couldn’t bear it anymore. Then he trapped Bill in his head, and in a struggle for dominance the accident happened,” She paused, thinking about whether she should mention this, “Well… y’know, Dipper’s wounds healed really quickly. The doctors called it a miracle. I don’t believe in these kind of miracles, and I don’t remember my brother having magic healing powers.”

“Ah, of course. That’s why I didn’t trust him from the start,” Stanford suddenly said, “It’s because he didn’t tell us what the deal was, right? Or did he?”

Mabel looked up with a confused expression.  
“The deal?”

“Bill can invade anyone’s dreams, but not their mind, unless there’s a deal going on. And unless someone else made a deal in order to harm your brother, which is unlikely in this case, Dipper must have made some kind of deal with Bill to even let him in his mind, and to trap him there.”

“He didn’t say anything about a deal!” Mabel cried out.   
_Goddamnit, Dipper, just WHAT are you doing?_

Stanford went silent again.  
_Of course he didn’t._ This was the reason why he had decided that the boy couldn’t be trusted. Maybe this was the reason why he had decided to…  
God, no. It couldn’t be. He couldn’t do that, no matter how lost the boy might be.  
No, he would find another way.  
The mail from Stanley should arrive soon.

“Mabel… I’m asking a lot of you, but please make sure your brother gets absolutely no chance to leave this room. You can decide this for yourself, but the best would be to mix something into the water you bring him to drink so he’ll be tired all the time. Make him believe that he’s sick and needs to stay in bed and that you’re here to care for him.”  
  
“You’re talking about my brother as if he was an object or an experiment,” Mabel said frowning, “And I really, really don’t like it. Great uncle Ford, please promise me one thing. Whatever you do, please don’t... k-kill him. If hurting him is necessary in order to get Bill out of his head, then so be it – but—but please—you can’t—“

Stanford was shocked to see that he wasn’t the only one to think of this possibility. And maybe it had already been his final decision. Looking at his niece now, with her big pretty eyes all watered up and fighting against upcoming tears, he wondered how he could ever even think about it.  
“I won’t. Don’t worry. I promise that your brother is going to live, no matter what. Please don’t cry, Mabel. You…”, he bit his lip and sighed deeply, “You have to be strong now. I’ll do everything I can. For now, I have to wait for Stanley’s mail. What I left with him should have all the answers I need right now.”

Mabel, still fighting back her tears, nodded slightly.  
“Alright then. I’ll make sure he won’t leave or even try anything,” she promised, “If I know one thing for sure, then it’s that he still trusts me.”

Stanford was reminded of his own words written in the Journals that Bill had burned.  
_Trust no one._

 


	18. Release

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while, but here is the first final chapter.  
> I wanted to make it extra long and I'm still not sure if this is a good enough ending, that's up for you guys to decide. However, that's the ending I wanted from the start. I'll tell you why in the next chapters notes.
> 
> This is the "true" and "good" ending, you could say. Because the second ending will be far worse and also kind of open. 
> 
> hope you're ready!  
> WARNING:  
> Character Death.
> 
> EDIT: Forgot the song recommendations.  
> I recommend "Heavy in your arms" by Florence and the Machine,  
> And especially "My Demons" by Starset for this chapter!  
> My Demons is interesting for this chapter because while it's obviously meant to be read from Dippers POV, the lyrics can be both about Mabel and Bill. 
> 
> -

* * *

 

 

When Stanford received the mail from his brother he’d been expecting, he was thrown into utter despair. Because there _was_ a way to save Dipper Pines from Bill Cipher, to separate the demon from his mind by exorcising him – but it was incredibly risky. So risky that this was probably another reason why he had originally decided that killing the boy to get rid of the demon would be more sufficient.  
What a disaster.  
But he had promised Mabel that he’d try everything he could.

 _“So is that what you needed? Can you like, do something with that nonsense? And how are the kids doing anyways?”_ Stanley’s voice rang out of the phone.

“Yes, it’s what I needed. But…” he sighed, “They are fine, for now. I just… Stanley, I can’t promise that this will end well, and I can’t even tell you just _how_ bad things might turn out.”

Silence filled the air for a good ten seconds.

_“You’re not telling me Dipper is going to die, are you? Or Mabel? Or you? Ford, WHAT do you mean?!”_

“Listen, Stanley. I’ll try everything I can to help the kids. I’m old, so if I fail—“

_“NO! Stop right there! I’m not losing you again—not like this! We’re growing old together, aren’t we?”_

Stanford bit his lower lip.  
“This isn’t goodbye. I’m just saying that it might end up bad for me… or the kids, or all of us. I don’t know. This entire situation is really, really messed up.”

_“Don’t… don’t do this to me. Come on. He’s just a stupid triangle, there must be something more simple we can do. Not something where you risk your goddamn life!”_

“He’s a stupid but powerful triangle. And even though Dipper might have much more control over the situation than I originally thought…”, he paused for a moment and shuddered,  
“Back when Cipher was free to walk in and out of my mind, he didn’t just simply manipulate me. I became more and more like him the more time we spent together. I started to think like him. I realized this way too late and it was one more reason why I had to install that metal plate in my head. And it’s why I can’t just leave Dipper like this, not matter what. We have to get rid of Cipher for good or there might be another Weirdmageddon within the next years. The easiest way would be to kill Dipper. I admit that. But I promised Mabel that I would try anything else but that. There’s another way, but it’s dangerous for all of us. Now, what would you do, Stanley? Answer seriously and don’t lie. Which way would you go?”

On the other line, Stanley was at a loss for words.  
But in the end, his brother was right. He would do the same. He would try to save Dipper, no matter how high the risk. After all, these two and his brother were his only family. There’s absolutely nothing he wouldn’t do for them. Why was it that in this case, he was so completely unable to help?  
_“Dipper…”_ he said, _“I’ve always been so proud of him. The kid’s been fighting his way through life and I know—I’ve seen it—that he’s never had it easy. A little awkward, a little antisocial, a bit of an outcast. Just like both of us were, Ford. You’re right. I hate to admit this, but I’d do the same. I’d try to save him.”_

“There,” Stanford murmured, “That’s your answer, and it’s mine too. Especially because... I never did anything great for my family. All I ever cared about was myself. My education, my research, my life, my revenge on Cipher. My obsession with the damn demon. Everything was always just about me and this time—this time I just—how do I even put this…”  
He sighed deeply, choking back tears.  
“The last years we spent together made me realize that I’ve missed out on the greatest things life has to offer. Family, and Friendship. I’ve wasted my life focused on so many things that didn’t matter. This time, it has to be me. I want to do something for my family just once. You’ve done and sacrificed enough, Stanley. It’s my turn now. But don’t cry yet. Maybe everything will turn out just… just fine.”

_“Hard to believe after everything you’ve told me just now.”_

“I’m sorry.”

Stanley hold back a sob on the other line and answered, _“You better be.”_

 

The conversation had not been private. Mabel was in the bathroom of her flat and had heard most of it. She went back to the kitchen, staring at her great uncle who had just bid goodbye to his brother. He had already told her what they had to do in order to help Dipper. What he had just told Stanley wasn’t the truth. There _was_ no way for this to end well.  
“Great uncle Ford,” she whispered, “I’m not sure if I can do this. Is there… Is there really no other way?”  
He shook his head.  
“I’m afraid not. But you will be fine, Mabel. And if everything works out, Dipper will be, too. I promised, didn’t I?”  
“But how—“  
“I came here using Stanley’s fake identities, because I let him keep mine. And Stanley has been declared dead a… while ago, but I don’t remember when exactly. Am I wrong about that?”  
Mabel shivered and fought her tears back.  
“No, That’s right.”  
“I know this is hard to take for you.”  
He looked at her worriedly, feeling bad about putting such a huge responsibility on a young woman like her. A young woman who should be living a happy, carefree life, far away from all the weirdness he brought into this family like a curse.  
_In the end all of this is my fault_ , he thought, _My curiosity started it all_.  
And now it was time to end it.  
  
“I don’t even know how to feel about any of this… I’m so confused, I just…”  
Mabel was incredibly exhausted from all the despair and problems that just multiplied instead of getting solved. Maybe she would be fine. Maybe Dipper would be fine.  
And maybe not.  
_For him._  
_For my brother._

 

* * *

 

 

A naked body sunk down on another.  
Out of breath, Dipper pressed himself against Bill, who just came as well. Their miserable situation still didn’t stop them from going at each other whenever they were in the mood.  
Bill would be lying if he’d say he didn’t still somehow enjoy it. He wanted to hate it, but his body didn’t. And damn, if fucking Dipper senseless didn’t feel good, then what did? They kissed passionately while still trying to catch their breath. Bill played a little with the human’s hair and hummed into the kiss. Dipper was on top of him, and the demons arms held him tight.  
“Damn that… was good,” he whispered into the demons ear. Another kiss, short but full of love.  
_Love._  
How on earth could this be love? But Dipper didn’t know what else to call it. It was what he felt when he was here in the mindscape with Bill. It was what made his heavy, hurting chest feel light and what made his thoughts seem colourful despite the mindscape being all grey, black and white. It was what made him feel alive, what gave him a rush and calmed him down at the same time. It was what made him sometimes remember what it was like to be happy. If this feeling wasn’t love, then what was it?

“Dipper,” Bill muttered, “It’s been three days since you were moved to Shooting Star’s place. I don’t know if you have some sort of plan, but…”

“I don’t,” Dipper admitted.

The demon sighed, placing a few soft kisses on the others shoulder.  
“I think your sister is doing something to keep you here. Maybe even to move you somewhere else without you noticing.”

“She wouldn’t do something like that.”

“She thought _you_ wouldn’t do a lot of the things you did, too.”

Dipper really didn’t have a plan. He trusted Mabel, though. She wouldn’t do anything while he was still sick, right? What even? Mabel shouldn’t have any knowledge on Bill. And Stanford? Was he still a threat?  
Damn it, he didn’t know.  
Something really bad might be going on, and he just wasn’t able to tell.

“You’re right,” he finally said, “I have to do something. Maybe… Maybe I should get out of here. Just run away. Maybe Mabel is better off without me. I’ll never be lonely as long as I have you, and with your magic I’ll be just fine no matter where I go. Maybe that’s what I should do.”  
Dipper said all that while deeply enjoying the way Bill stroked his hair.

“If that’s what you want,” the demon murmured, “then go for it.”

“What do you think about it?”  
He looked directly into Bill’s eyes.

“Does it matter what I think about it? Or about anything else?”

“My rational side says no. My emotional side says yes. You’re free to choose.”

Bill couldn’t stand the way he was looking at him. It reminded him of his own feelings, and of the fact that he wasn’t even sure whether they were his own or not. Was it possible that he loved Dipper? After everything he had done? It couldn’t be, right? Then why did he still feel like it?  
_It must be his emotions, not my own._  
Bill wondered what would happen if they stayed together for a very long time. Would he become more human, and Dipper more of a demon? Or would they slowly become more and more alike?

“What are you thinking about?”  
Dipper tilted his head, his eyes piercing trough the others golden ones. What a beautiful colour. It was his own imagination that made look Bill like this, he knew that, but he still couldn’t help but fall in love with his own creation.

“How I’m feeling about you.”  
Bill tried to look away, but wasn’t allowed to.

“And?”  
  
“I hate you.”

“You don’t.”

“I do. But I love you at the same time. I can’t explain it properly. I think I’m… grateful. I’m grateful for this very new experience after millions of years in which my only new kind of feeling was the moment when the rift opened in Gravity Falls, my few days of victory. And before that… Do you have any idea what it’s like? To simply exist, hardly being able to do anything at all? Not experiencing anything new because your own dimension is utterly boring and two-dimensional? Not even experiencing much new with humanity anymore because they keep repeating the same stupid mistakes? It’s a miserable life,” he said,  
“I’m not just any demon, Dipper Pines. I’m one of the oldest demons that still exist up to this day. And a demon is what you call me today, but other cultures called me a god. What I am can’t be defined. _Who_ I am can’t be defined. I am many things, many beings and many personalities. I don’t even remember how many. I am _fucking_ old, Dipper, and I’ve experienced everything. And yet you managed to surprise me.”

“I’m sure I’m not the first to love you,” Dipper said.

“By your definition of love, the way I understand it, you are. Maybe this isn’t love. But if it is, then most of humanity doesn’t know what it really feels like.”

The human laughed a little.  
“Is it weird to say that you make me feel special by saying things like that?”

Bill blinked.  
“No, because you always desperately seek any kind of recognition.”

“You understand me.”

“I do.”

Another kiss.  
Both of them sighed deeply, lost in each others lips.

“I think you should do it. Because I’m pretty sure we are in danger,” Bill finally said.

“What makes you so sure?” Dipper asked.

The demon bit his lower lip.

“Knowing Stanford.”

 

* * *

 

 

Without Dipper’s knowledge, he had been moved to Stanford’s apartment.  
Mabel was worried sick. There was so, so much that could go wrong. And they couldn’t exactly afford a mistake.  
Dipper was on the bed. They had tied him up again just in case he’d wake up and try to get away. Or in case Bill possessed him. Maybe there were other reasons too. She didn’t know all the details. All she knew was that they were going to try to force Bill out of her brother’s head.  
  
In her hands was the goddamn weapon that had started it all.

Next to her was a Journal Stanford had been writing for the past years to make up for the lost ones.

The open page was about the dream demon Bill Cipher.  
Mabel wasn’t ready. Not at all.

“I’ll start now,” Stanford said, and all she could do was nod slowly.

The Cipher circle was on the floor. Something similar to it was drawn on Dipper’s and Stanford’s forehead. Now all that was missing was both of their blood.

“At the same time,” Stanford ordered, and Mabel took her brothers hand. She held a small but sharp knife. And she was praying to every god there was that he wouldn’t wake up from the tiny cut. He was on heavy sleeping pills and shouldn’t wake up anytime soon.

She carefully cut into his finger and pressed it against the symbol on Dipper’s forehead. Stanford did the same. And the moment it happened, the huge circle on the floor began to glow. Mabel didn’t dare to get too close to it.

She stared at the empty glass on the table right next to her great uncle.  
He had drunk he mixture in it before they had started the ritual.

Her expression was full of pain. The fingers of her right hand started trembling. Her grip on the Dream Trapper was weak. _Can I really do this? But it’s too late already, isn’t it?_ She thought. And true, it was already too late to turn back. Now that they had started it, she would have to do everything she could to finish it.

“It’s—It’s working, I think—“  
Stanford cried out and dropped to his knees. His breathing became heavy. Within few seconds he was sweating. He started to hold his head with both hands. Something seemed to hurt him a lot. _But what_ , Mabel thought, panicking, _the ritual or the poison_?

“N-no—“, Stanford coughed out after a while, “Something is wrong! It should have worked by now—Why isn’t it—Oh god, Mabel, there’s not much time—!”  
  
Mabel stared in horror as her great uncle coughed up blood.  
That was it.  
Time for Plan B.

Still standing next to her brother, she touched his forehead and began to speak out loud.  
“Fidentus omnium. Magister mentium. Magnesium ad hominem,” she started, and Stanford yelled at her – something about it being too early to try this – but now she was already at it, and she finally wanted to know the truth,  
“Magnum opus. Habeas corpus. Inceptus Nolanus overrates. Magister mentium, magister mentium, magister mentium!”

Mabel immediately collapsed on the floor. She was asleep, entering Dipper’s mind.  
  
Left alone in a silent room was Stanford, fighting against the incredible pain in his head, trembling and gasping for air as he coughed up another load of blood. And for once in his life, he actually prayed, because there was nothing else left to do. He prayed to whatever god there might be that Mabel would succeed.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Dipper had not been prepared for this.  
He had been trying to wake up, and noticed that he was unable to do so. But now he was faced with despair, because all of a sudden Bill was in extreme pain. Dipper was at a loss. Where did it come from? Who was causing it?

Bill had started screaming and crying minutes ago and his form had suddenly changed back to the triangle he knew. Even in this form, Dipper could see him struggle, crying and trembling even. His triangular shape was glowing and shaking.  
“Bill! What’s going on?!” He cried out.  
But the demon seemed to be in too much pain to even talk. Shrill, heart wrenching screaming filled the rather empty mindscape. All of Dipper’s thoughts were focused on Bill. Just Bill, nothing else. There was absolutely no room for anything else. Not now. Why was he in so much pain?  
And how could he stop this?!

“Some….one…,” Bill finally coughed out a few words, “Is trying…. to e—e—exo—exor—m-me—“  
“Exorcize?” Dippers eyes widened.  
The demon nodded weakly, as much as he could in his triangular form.

This was a new level of pain. Bill felt as if the law forces of the universe were trying to tear him apart. And that was probably what was happening.  
Because someone successfully used his exorcizing spell, something that only worked when another mind was willing to take him in, but the deal with Dipper didn’t allow him to leave. It was a paradox, and it would be the end of him.  
He would like to explain it to Dipper, but he felt like he was about to get ripped in two pieces. A stinging pain shook up his entire form, like thousands of needles stabbing through him and shaking up his insides.

“Bill! What can I do? Please, tell me!” Dipper cried out, throwing his arms around Bill despite him being in his triangle form. It didn’t matter in this moment.

“L… me go…”  
Bill’s voice was low and weak, nothing more than whispering.  
But Dipper still got what he was trying to say.

“No,” he breathed out, “I’m… I’m not letting you go. Not after all this. Not… No, I need you! I CAN’T LET YOU GO!”  
It was the truth. He needed Bill. He didn’t know anymore what he would do without these feelings he was only to experience here in the mindscape, and only with Bill. The faint memory of happiness, the satisfaction, it was what kept him going.

“br…. the…. Deal…”

“NO!”

No, he was NOT going to break the deal!

“Dipper…”

Dipper froze as he heard the familiar female voice.  
Then he laughed a little, not turning around.  
“I can’t believe I forgot about this. Humans can’t enter other human’s minds, except when there’s a demon involved,” he murmured, slowly letting go of Bill,  
“Mabel… you shouldn’t have come here.”

“I had to,” Mabel answered.  
For once, she was absolutely ready for anything that might happen. Because this was still her brother, and if kicking his goddamn ass back to reality was what she had to do, so be it. _He did the same for me once._

“Is Stanford doing this?”, Dipper asked coldly.

“Why is it making you angry?” Mabel replied, “Why is it that you don’t want to let Bill go? I kinda know it by now, but I want to hear it from you.”

Dipper looked away.  
It was too late to hide anything, wasn’t it?  
“Because I need him. He comforts me. He… understands. No one else does. I won’t let him go.”

Mabel frowned, trying to come closer, but feeling herself unable to move in the next second. Dipper’s eyes were locked with hers. His expression was cold, and sad. It broke Mabel’s heart one more time.  
“Dipper, you KNOW that you can’t do this!”, she yelled at him.

He tilted his head.  
“Why? He’s completely under my control. Nothing bad can happen anymore. Get out of here and tell Stanford to stop this. Bill is bound to me with a deal. I’m not letting him go. He _can’t_ leave me.”

Hearing Dipper say these words while Bill was screaming and crying right behind him made her stomach turn. _For his entertainment_. Oh, god.

“I can’t tell Stanford to stop,” she finally said, tears gathering up in her eyes, “He’s dying for you right now.”

“What…?”  
Dippers face turned as white as the empty space of the mindscape.  
This… couldn’t be true, right? Why? Why would Stanford die for him? For HIM?!  
He was useless! He was a failure, a disappointment – Why didn’t the old man just kill him instead?!

“It’s the truth. And unlike you, I’m not lying to my sibling about important things like that. Exorcizing Bill Cipher only works if another mind is willing to take him in. I’m supposed to trap Bill in Stanford’s head right after, and our great uncle… took poison in order to kill himself.” _So I wouldn’t have to do it._

“Mabel, you don’t understand! I can’t let him go—he… he’s the only one who’s able to make me feel alive at all!”

“Dipper,” Mabel cried out, “I TRIED to understand you! YOU DIDN’T LET ME!”

He inhaled sharply, remembering what he had done to his own sister with the memory gun.

“But I’ll forgive you,” she sobbed, “If you just stop now. Come back with me. This isn’t real, Dipper. Nothing in here is. When did I become the one to drag _you_ back into reality?”  
She felt herself being able to move again, and immediately came closer.  
Dipper moved a few steps back.  
He was scared.  
“I know you’re scared. You think there’s no help for you, and I know you think no one needs you. But damn it, you’re so wrong! What the hell am I supposed to do without you? I need you just as much as you need me, Dipper! And I will help you, whether you want it or not!”

Dipper was in tears now.  
No, this was wrong, it was all wrong!  
“Why do you even care so much about me?” he cried out, “Don’t you see how horrible I am? Hah… Bill didn’t do anything to me. I tortured him in order to get what I want. Do you still want me as your brother? Do you still want to help me?”  
He tried to sound tough and cold, but the tears in his eyes and his sad expression gave it all away. He had become a monster, but his very core was still human.

“Yes,” Mabel answered without hesitating, “You’ll always be my brother, and I’ll always try to understand and help you.”

“Mabel… I don’t deserve this! I wanted to run away, because you deserve something better, a life without someone like me!”

“You really think that would have made me happy? I’m gonna punch you if you say that one more time.”

Her brother was in despair, and much more so was Bill.

“Pine—Tree—“, the demon cried out, “Please…!”

“NO!”  
Dipper screamed.  
No, no, no! Not after everything he had done to make sure Bill would never leave him!

“Pl… ease… It’s g-going to kill m… rip me apart…!”

“NO! Damn it, I’m not letting you go!”  
  
“Dipper,” Mabel finally said, “If you don’t let him go, our great uncle will die for nothing.”

That line finally broke him.  
He fell to his knees, crying out loud, hiding his face behind his hands.  
Mabel came up right behind him and hugged him tight.  
“Please, Dipper.”  
“There’s no help for me.”  
“There is. And whatever happens, I’m not leaving your side.”  
“I don’t deserve this.”  
“You do.”  
“I don’t deserve you.”  
“I’d be living in a bubbly glittering fantasy world called Mabel Land if it weren’t for you.”

Dipper sobbed.  
“Mabel, I—I love Bill—“

“If you love him you better spare him a painful death.”  
She wasn’t even surprised.  
Not after what she had seen and heard when she entered her brother’s mind.

“PINE TREE, PLEASE,” Bill’s voice had gotten louder and his crying made it hard to hear what Mabel was saying, “PLEASE BREAK THE DEAL!”

And finally, Dipper let a small, sharp knife appear in his right hand.  
He kissed Bill on what would have been his forehead if he were in his human form, and then a small, clean cut ended it all.

_Thank you, Pine Tree.  
I loved you._

  

* * *

 

 

It was very quiet within Stanford’s mind.  
Quiet and clean thoughts. The panic and fear that had dominated the space before were gone the moment he noticed he wasn’t alone anymore. And he wasn’t _awake_ anymore.

“Stanford Filbrick Pines,” Bill said, hovering above him, “ _My old pal.”_

“Hello, Bill. It’s finally over,” Stanford greeted him.

“Oh, you think I’m going down without a fight? I’ve got some time left to get outta here.”  
He was bluffing. He knew very well that he was already trapped, again.

“You’re not going anywhere. But if you want a fight,” the old man smiled, “Care for a game of interdimensional chess?”

He could tell by the expression of Bill’s eye that the demon was grinning.

“I could think of no better way,” he admitted, “to end my million years of existence.”

So they played, and as the game went on they talked about everything.  
About Dipper, about Mabel.  
About Weirdmageddon, about Bill’s betrayal.  
About the 30 years Stanford spent in the demon’s dimension, hiding from him. About how he even managed to hide for so long. About how they had started it together, and they would end it together. Today.

Nothing mattered anymore, and they talked as if they were old friends rather than archenemies, all while playing a game as they waited for their death.

Stanford won.


	19. Epilogue - Forgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again.   
> So, you might be wondering - Why Stanford?   
> After everything that happened, shouldn't it be Dipper dying? 
> 
> Well, Stanford himself explained in chapter 18 what I always thought about the series. It felt so, so wrong to me that Stanley was the one sacrificing himself for his family in the last episode. I mean, really, what had Stanford ever done for his family? He's always been an extremely self-centered person, and his obsession with the supernatural and his revenge on Bill made him forget about the really important things in life. 
> 
> Both Stanford and Stanley are pretty old already in this fanfiction, so Stanford decided that it was time he did something for a family member once and also that his life would have come to an end sometime soon anyways, while Dipper had his whole life ahead of him. 
> 
> However, I want to mention that if Dipper and Bill wouldn't have used the spell to confuse Stanford's memories, Stanford would not have thought things through one more time - he actually already had decided to kill Dipper, because Dipper had obviously been lying to them, not mentioning any deal he made with Bill. 
> 
> So, this is why I decided to end it like this.   
> here's a short epilogue to chapter 18. 
> 
> -

* * *

  
  
Half a year later, Dipper was standing in front of Stanford’s – and technically also Bill’s – grave.

He had never visited it up until now. He hadn’t even been to the funeral. He couldn’t attend it because he got sick and his mental illness only got worse, so he was hospitalized. Now, six months later, he was finally here.

“Hi, great uncle Ford,” he started,   
“I’m here. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for your funeral. And I’m sorry for a lot of other things. I’d say I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done, sorry for my entire existence – but saying something degrading like that would make your death pointless, wouldn’t it?”

Dipper was pretty stable at the moment.   
The time in the hospital did help him a lot. But he was unable to get over what his great uncle had done for him.

“I can’t stop feeling bad about this. Mabel always tells me that it’s what you wanted, that it was your decision, but that doesn’t change anything, does it? It’s still my fault that you’re dead. The first two months I wanted nothing more than to kill myself for what I’ve done. And yet, here I am.”

Stanford’s body had been found in the apartment after some neighbours alarmed the police. Due to his fake IDs and an even more fake suicide letter as well as all the candles in the room and weird symbols on the floor, his death made big headlines as a weird satanic ritual suicide by a man with no real name.

“You left the world with a mystery to solve. That’s just like you.”

Dipper laughed a little, even though he didn’t feel like laughing or even smiling at all.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out, “I’m sorry for everything I have done. I’m really, truly sorry, even if it’s way too late to say that. I’ve been a horrible person, and yet you gave me the second chance I didn’t deserve. All I can do now is promise you that I won’t let this chance go to waste. I’m trying, and I’ll keep trying, even if it’s incredibly hard.”

He still had Mabel.   
And his parents, and Grunkle Stan, and the few friends he had – people who were much more worried than he thought they would be when they heard about him being in hospital. It was because he was slowly learning to care about others again, others who were not Mabel.   
He had always thought that he cared a great deal, the way he was degrading and blaming himself whenever something went wrong for another person. Taking it all up on his shoulders even though he already broke down from the weight. He had thought that all of this was just him caring too much for others.

But caring was different.   
Others were caring about him and wanted him to get better. And if he really cared about them, he had to fight and try to get better, so that maybe one day they wouldn’t have to worry anymore.

“Oh, and Bill?”

A soft breeze went over the graveyard, as if someone or something was trying to answer.

“I’m sorry to you, too. Thank you for your love.” 


	20. Rewind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the final chapter and alternative Ending of "Monsters"!  
> I hope you enjoyed this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> The reason why I wanted an alternative ending is to show you why Stanford's sacrifice was necessary. 
> 
> FOR THIS CHAPTER, YOU HAVE TO SKIP THE ORIGINAL CHAPTERS 16, 17 AND 18!  
> The beginning of chapter 16 is partly the same, which is why it is included here.  
> SONG RECOMMENDATIONS:  
> David Bowie and Massive Attack - "Nature Boy"  
> \- thanks for these songs my friend, you know who you are ;)  
> Emily Browning - "Sweet Dreams" [Sucker Punch OST]
> 
> WARNINGS:  
> Violence and Character Death. 
> 
> -

As always, Bill had no idea how much time had passed in the mindscape. How much time since he had given up on himself.  
Dipper was still with him in the mindscape. It almost seemed like he didn’t want to wake up anymore. Bill had not been talking for an entire while. He was too busy thinking through everything that had happened, and about the real meaning of their new deal. It was the wording of the deal that was the problem, and Bill – HE, of all beings – had not noticed it.  
He remembered Dipper’s first idea being that Bill would ‘not be able to do anything he wouldn’t allow’. But he had changed the wording of it for the actual deal that happened much later.

_“Stay and obey me as long as I want you to, and in return I’ll never hurt you again.”_

Complete Obedience.  
As long as Dipper wanted him to.  
The wording of this deal was so simple, yet it meant so much more than it seemed.  
The question was if Dipper was aware of the possibilities. He probably was.

Bill blinked.  
Why did he even care?  
It was over. Everything was over. He had lost his entire former existence thanks to this deal. And there was absolutely nothing he could do, not anymore. There was only one way, and it was accepting his fate with Dipper, and accepting any way Dipper decided to go. His own will didn’t matter anymore.  
Still, he was curious about how things would go on from here. Never in his entire existence had he been in a situation like this, so he couldn’t tell what would happen next. Curiosity killed the cat, the humans said, but for him there was nothing left to lose.

“Pine Tree?”

He had started calling him by his nickname again. He was above Dipper, hovering in the air despite being in human form. Old habits.

“Hm?” Dipper answered, not looking up from the sketchbook on his desk.

“How does the Dream Trapper work?”

Dipper turned his head up to look at him. He didn’t seem surprised.

“I don’t know how exactly it works. Ford did most of the work. All I know is that it’s using the same kind of power, force-field or magnetism – whatever you want to call it – that made you unable to leave Gravity Falls.”

Ah.  
The Equation Sixer wouldn’t tell him, back then.  
That very small step that had been between him and his goal of world domination. Incredible how far away, how completely out of his grasp these plans were today. He had been so close. So close to fulfilling his dreams of a world with his own rules. An entertaining and perfect world where anything could happen and nothing was impossible.  
He had been so close, and now there was none of it left, not even the small taste of victory he got to experience back then. All gone.

Gone, just like him.  
Bill Cipher, as the world might have known him, was no more.

“You’re not waking up,” the demon said, a statement rather than a question.

“Tell me something I don’t know, Bill.”

“Depends on what you want to know. I know lots of things, after all.”  
For a moment, he completely forgot about his situation and smiled about his own words. At least parts of his personality were still left. And when he realized it, he thought that maybe it wasn’t that bad to accept this fate.

Dipper laughed a little.  
“Right. I actually have access to every secret of the universe now.”

“Exactly.”

“I can’t think of a single question at the moment.”  
His twelve year old self would have been overjoyed. Too bad that nowadays he was unable to experience joy the way he did back then.

“I guess you have a lot of time to come up with some, Pine Tree.”

Dipper closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.  
“Bill… you’re supposed to hate me.”  
He’d been trying to find the right words for a whole while now.

“I know. I want to, but I can’t. You’re the worst human being I ever met, and I won’t forgive you for what you’ve done. Never. But for some reason I still can’t bring myself to hate you.”  
Bill’s voice sounded kind of melancholic. Nothing hurt anymore, because he had agreed to the deal. The extreme pain he had experienced not long ago seemed unreal now, surreal almost. As if it hadn’t actually happened. He couldn’t forget, but what was left of it – little stings in his chest when he remembered this or that – weren’t enough to even bother him.  
Was it better like this? Had it been worth it?

“Are you reflecting my feelings on this? This whole thing about us… ‘exchanging’ our emotions and personalities, again?”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

Dipper had been wondering about it for a while. It wasn’t exactly among the things he had expected when he had trapped the demon in his mind. The question was: how far would it go? How much would both of them change, if they kept spending years over years together?

“Hm. I have a question now,” Dipper said, tilting his head, “What happens to humans when they die?”

“Their souls spend a few hundreds of years regaining their energy, and will be drawn to a new vessel once ready. The bodies die, not the souls.”

“So technically, you’d still be mine even if I die?”

_As long as I want you to._

“Yeah,” Bill answered casually. He really, honestly didn’t care anymore.  
Pointless. Everything was so fucking pointless.  
After all, Dipper could simply order him to tell him things, or not to lie, or anything like that. He would have to obey every single command. No more pain, though.  
Just pleasure, and something that might be affection.  
Probably way too fucked up to call it love.  
Maybe it wasn’t all that bad.  
Maybe it was the worst.

Bill kept asking himself over and over if it had been worth it to sacrifice his own existence, his freedom, everything that made him Bill Cipher, just to escape the pain. But no matter how often he visualized the question, no matter from how many angles he tried to look at the situation, there was no answer.  
Maybe, maybe not.

“You don’t want to wake up?” Bill asked, hovering upside down in front of Dipper, studying the others expression. It seemed like the human was somewhere far, far away. Not in the mindscape, and not in the real world.

Dipper didn’t answer.  
How would things go on from here? The plan had been to make Mabel forget, then convince Stanford that Bill wasn’t back - that he was getting old and his paranoia was going out of hand. It could have been perfect.  
But now Mabel knew, and the memory gun was destroyed. How could he possibly convince Mabel that things were alright like this? That everything was fine, now that he had Bill under full control? He had asked Bill for possibilities earlier, some kind of magic that wouldn’t hurt Mabel but would make her forget, but the demon didn’t know any way around his own spell either, and he was unable to lie about it.  
  
_Maybe it was time to leave._

 

* * *

 

 

Mabel Pines was in absolute distress.  
Two days earlier she had knocked her brother out because he asked her to, and ever since he had not been waking up. At a loss for what to do now, she had locked Dippers room from the inside and climbed through his window to her own room, so it would seem like Dipper didn’t want to leave his room.  
But that only worked the first day, and then she had to convince her parents that Dipper only wanted to see her and no one else at the moment, and that it would be very bad for him if they were to question him about things now. She had promised her parents that she would take care of him and that he will talk to them soon. She had brought breakfast and lunch and dinner to Dipper’s room, trying to eat it up herself or throwing it out of the window.  
So many lies.  
Mabel hated lying to people she cared about.  
_Unlike my brother_ , she thought bitterly, but at the same time couldn’t really judge him for it. While she had not known how bad his situation really had become, she always knew that he was putting everything and everyone else above himself. And whenever something went wrong in his life, he blamed himself for it.  
She had always tried to talk him out of this, but in the end it was the one thing that never changed about him. What she had not seen was just _how_ much worse his way of thinking had become.

She had tried to call Stanford, but something was wrong with his memories. He didn’t seem to remember why he even came here. Mabel was convinced that Dipper had done something – but what, and why?

Suddenly, she felt like something really bad was about to happen.

She jumped up from the bed in her own room and ran to Dippers room. She had absolutely no idea where this feeling came from. Maybe it was Twin ESP or something stupid like that, but whatever it was, it made her feel anxious to no end.

And She was right. When she unlocked Dippers room and opened the door, he wasn’t there, and the window was open. Mabel panicked and rushed to the Window, expecting her brother to lie on the ground of their backyard because he jumped out of a window again, but he was not there.

“Dipper? DIPPER!”

No answer.  
He wasn’t there.

He wasn’t anywhere.

On this day, Dipper Pines disappeared without a trace.

 

* * *

  
  
 

It was 5 years later when Mabel dared to return to Gravity Falls one more time. It was December. She had missed the place, and she had missed her great uncles, but the town held too many memories she shared with Dipper. That’s why she never came back, until today.  
His disappearance had left a scar in her heart that would never heal. The last clue to her brother’s whereabouts was his phone that had been found near a river. Most people were convinced that he killed himself, but his body was never found.  
And Mabel just couldn’t believe it.

Dipper was probably still alive, still somewhere out there. She couldn’t tell what it was that convinced her, but she was absolutely sure of it. No one believed her, of course. But maybe the Stans would.

When she arrived at the bus stop, Candy was waiting for her with a big smile on her face. Mabel forced herself to smile, too, despite being officially back in the town that had started it all. She had missed it as much as she had feared it.  
But the fact that after all these years she was still friends with Candy cheered her up a bit. She fell into the other girls arms.  
“Hi, Candy. I’m back,” she said and kissed her on both cheeks.  
Candy was very excited and wouldn’t stop talking for the next hours. She went on and on about how she had tried to convince Grenda to come, too, but the other girl was too busy with travelling and couldn’t make it. And then she talked about the things that changed in town since Mabel had been here the last time, and about her part time jobs in the museum, the grocery store and many other places, as well as the weird things she still experienced in town sometimes.  
“Those gnomes, I’m telling you! If we’re going to bake cookies or something – I mean it’s December of COURSE we’re going to bake cookies – we better not put them outside to cool down!”  
  
Mabel would be staying at Candy’s place this time.  
She couldn’t go back to that attic she had always shared with Dipper.  
  
It felt weird to be back in this town. Gravity Falls was weird anyways, but seeing the town in December for the first time didn’t help her forget the summers she spent here. The memories hit her hard, but for now she was fine. And she would only stay for a week, so she could be with her parents for Christmas.

“Hey, Candy? Is it okay if I go to the Mystery Shack right away?”

“Sure, feel free to do whatever you want!”

Candy’s smile was as bright as the summer sun and made up for the foggy, grey December landscape. Mabel took a deep breath and smiled again. She didn’t want her friend to worry about anything.

“Thanks. I’ll be back soon!”

  
On her way to the Mystery Shack in the woods, she kind of felt like being watched.  
But no one was there.

 

* * *

  
  
 

“She’s here, she’s finally here.”

_“Yeah. What now?”_

“I don’t know. I’m just so happy to see her.”

_“Me too.”_

“We are happy to see her.”

_“We are.”_

“Is it time?”

_“Not yet.”_

“Can you—can we—can I really do this?”

_“Yes.”_

Laughter.

_“What are you laughing about?”_

“About how I saved the world once.”

And then both of them were laughing.

   


* * *

 

  
“Grunkle Stan! Soos! Melody!”

Seeing these three made her genuinely happy. It’s been so long!  
“Mabel! I haven’t seen you in forever!”  
Stanley got up from his chair, swearing for a second about his back pain, then he rushed over and hugged Mabel so tight she thought she was going to die from suffocation.  
“Grunkle Stan, I can’t breathe,” she laughed, and then he let her go but couldn’t help kissing her on the forehead.  
It felt like coming home, at least a little.

“Mabel, dude! How’s it hangin? You haven’t been in Gravity Falls for… wait, 6 years? How OLD are you?” Soos asked.

Mabel smiled.  
“I turned 26 last summer!”

“Oh, dear. They sure grow up fast,” Melody giggled, and suddenly Mabel remembered that these two had a child. Hidden behind the counter was a small boy. He peeked around the corner and shyly came out when Mabel smiled at him.  
“H-hello!” The boy said, looking at the floor.  
“Awww,” Mabel laughed, “Isn’t he the cutest! Hello, what’s your name?”  
“Luca. I’m not cute, I’m almost eight!”

“He tells that to everyone,” Melody said, chuckling, “Our little one just can’t wait to get older. He’s not only almost eight, he’s also a real trouble maker, am I right?”

The boy’s cheeks reddened and he hid behind the counter once again.

Mabel grinned. He was absolutely adorable.  
It was nice to see Soos, Melody, their son and Grunkle Stan as a happy family. Stanley could have moved out, but when the twins came back from their little adventure, Soos was incredibly happy to see him again. After all Stanley was like the father Soos never had. And that’s why he and Ford had finally decided to settle down in the Mystery Shack, and grow old here together.

“Oh yeah, where’s great uncle Ford?”

Stanley frowned.  
“Not here. I haven’t heard from him for… weeks now, to be honest. I don’t know what he’s doing, but he keeps texting me that he’s fine, so I guess he is.”

“What? But he texted me that he would be here!”  
Mabel was confused. What was Stanford up to?

“Hm… maybe that means he’s coming back soon? That idiot, I’m gonna beat him up once he’s back. How dare he make me worry like that on our old days!”  
Stanley scratched his head. Apparently, he was just as confused about this. But then he leaned a little closer so only Mabel could hear him,  
“He always acts like that when he’s paranoid about Bill coming back. Because he doesn’t want to put me in danger, he always goes out alone and tries to solve some kind of mystery. I can’t stop him from doing that, but damn it, we’re getting old and he shouldn’t… Not to make you worry, but I thought you should know. He’s still not over that.”

Mabel froze for a moment at just the mention of Bill.  
Bill being back would also mean Dipper being back, wouldn’t it?  
But then again, she had no idea what really happened to Dipper. Maybe he really did kill himself. Wouldn’t that have killed Bill, too? _But no_ , she thought, _he’s alive. He’s out there somewhere. I know he is._

There it was again.  
The feeling of being watched.

She immediately turned around and stared at the windows behind her.  
Nothing.

“What’s wrong?” Soos asked.

Mabel shook her head.  
“Are the gnomes near the shack or something?”

“Nah, they stay away ever since Ford used pixie dust to keep them away.”

“Ew, he killed a pixie for that?”

“Well, it keeps the trolls away too, so there’s that. It’s not easy to live in the forest of Gravity Falls, dude.”

Well then.  
Must have been her imagination.

 

* * *

  
 

In a dark and forgotten basement, Stanford Pines was barely alive.

Handcuffs were keeping him in place, tying him to a wooden table that was way too huge and heavy for him to move. His clothes were a mess and all over his body were cuts, scratches, burns and all kinds of other injuries. His leg, he was pretty sure, was broken. He needed his medications and suffered from the loss of them. Not to speak of his deprivation of sleep. He hadn’t eaten in a while, but every now and then _he_ came to feed him. No, he came to _force_ him to eat.

Because Stanford wanted to die.

He couldn’t deal with the torture any longer.  
For him, it was just fun.  
Even without Stanford’s help, he would figure out how to rebuild the machine.

And there he was.

“Hello, Sixer. Hungry yet?” Bill, with Dipper’s face and body, asked with a grin.

It made Stanford’s stomach turn. He’d actually like to throw up, but there wasn’t anything left to throw up.

Bill held two apples in his hand.  
“I poisoned one of them. The poison won’t kill you, but trust me, you’re not gonna like it either,” the demon chuckled, “it’s going to make you hallucinate and suffer from extreme headaches, and once that first phase is over you’ll fall into deep sleep. And guess who’s gonna be directing your dreams? I got some fun ideas for the next one.”

“Dipper… Please stop this,” Stanford coughed out, tears in his eyes.  
  
“Sorry Fordsy, but that side of me isn’t listening right now. Not all of me wants to know what I’m doing to you. I prefer to let this side do the dirty work.”

 _All of me._  
_This side of me._  
Me.  
Ford had noticed this way of talking long ago. Had they merged into one person? Was Dipper completely gone? Was there no hope left? Anything, _anything_ they could possibly do to avoid what was coming?

“You wish you could die so you wouldn’t have to see it, am I right? But guess what my dear Sixer, you’re getting first row tickets. And this time _nothing_ will stop me. The other me doesn’t care anymore what’s happening to you, so I will make sure to keep you alive so you can enjoy the show. We’re almost done here too, y’know.”

The old man’s body was shaking. He knew that this was a promise Bill would keep. The demon wanted revenge just as much as him. The situation was hopeless. He would never get out of here. If just someone would notice where he was! It was almost too late, someone…!

“Oh hey, know what? Shooting Star arrived today. Just in time, huh?”

Stanford’s eyes widened. No, no!  
“Please, no…!”

“Please! As if I would hurt her! I love her a lot, don’t you know? I’m very happy she’s here. I’ll finally meet her again.”  
In Bill’s hands was Stanford’s cell phone. The demon kept texting Stanley, telling his brother that he was alright and just couldn’t talk at the moment. Sometimes he showed him the texts, laughing about how helpless Ford was without just this little device.

“Now, left or right?”, Bill asked seemingly amused, holding up both apples.

“Left,” Stanford groaned, not really caring. God, he really, really wanted to die.

Bill cut the left apple into tiny pieces and began to feed Stanford with them.  
Soon enough, the old man felt like throwing up again, as everything around him began to spin and blur.

“Too bad,” he heard Bill’s voice, “Both of them were poisoned. Sweet dreams, Fordsy.”

 

* * *

 

  
Mabel had spent three days in Gravity Falls when she noticed something strange. Stanford would always text her back, but didn’t pick up when she called him.

“Yeah, same here. He texted me that he’s not able to talk with what he’s doing,” Stanley explained, but he didn’t like the situation either.

“Did you ever ask him just what he’s doing?” Mabel asked.

“Well… Yes, but he said he’d explain it all when he’s back.”

“How long has he been gone already?”

“About a month now.”

That was really weird. I mean, if it was a false alarm and Bill wasn’t involved in whatever he had discovered, wouldn’t he be back by now? And it Bill was involved in it, wouldn’t that also mean Dipper?  
Mabel couldn’t help but still think of her brother. She thought she could spent a few days in Gravity Falls without thinking about him, but it was impossible. Even after all these years… Well, maybe it was really just this town. She was starting to get by fine when she was at home.

“I… I don’t know, Grunkle Stan, but maybe we should call the police and try to find him?”

“I’ve been thinking about that, but…”

“No. No buts. I mean… I don’t want to call a worst case, but if he never picks up his phone, that could be anyone answering those texts.”

Stanley’s face was suddenly as white as the snow that had started to fall outside.

“No… You don’t think…? But who would kidnap him and why?!”

“I don’t know! But it’s strange, don’t you think? We should go to the police—“

Something happened.  
A loud, screeching sound went through the Mystery Shack, and as Mabel was still covering her ears to protect them, she found herself hovering in the air. Panic was written all over her face as she tried to grab some object to hold on to.  
“What’s happening?!”, she finally screamed, but got no answer.  
Stanley was just as shocked as her, hovering below her and yelling something she didn’t understand. Mabel realized that the entire Shack was hovering in the air. And she could only think of one thing causing this. No, no! Stanford wouldn’t do that, would he?!  
Of course, her first thought was that her great uncle might have want to finish what he had once started, but that couldn’t possibly be true. No. God, no! It must be Bill!

The gravity went back to normal and both Mabel and Stanley crashed to the floor. They heard Soos and Melody yelling from another room, and the boy was crying.  
“What just happened?” Mabel asked, her voice shaking.

“I don’t… I don’t know, but if it’s the machine— but it was destroyed, and no one has been down in the basement, and Bill doesn’t know the code to get down there!”

Mabel froze.

“But Grunkle Stan,” she said, tears in her eyes out of fear, “Dipper does!”

For a moment, all of them were silent.

“Stay here,” Stanley ordered, “I’ll go down there right now.”

“But Grunkle Stan, what if—“

“I said STAY HERE! Or leave the Mystery Shack, all of you—I don’t want to put you in danger!”

She couldn’t argue with her great uncle like that.  
“Let’s go,” Mabel said to Soos, Melody and their son, and they all went outside. Who knew, maybe the entire shack would blow up or something. Mabel was in tears, again. It couldn’t be. This couldn’t be happening.  
What if the machine was running again? What if the entire Weirdmageddon thing would happen all over again? What if…?

About half an hour later, Stanley still wasn’t back from the basement.

“That’s it,” Mabel declared, “I’m going down there too. I don’t care anymore. Don’t try to stop me, but please stay here.”  
If what was happening was what she thought, then Bill was involved. If Bill was involved, Dipper was involved. And if Dipper was involved, then she was the best person to try and stop him. He would listen to her, she was sure.

And if it’s just Bill? What then?

She shook her head. No matter what, she had to be strong now and figure out the truth. Her great uncles could both be in danger. She had to help!

The hidden door was open. She shivered as she went downstairs, step by step. Reaching the elevator, she remembered that there was another room here that used to be Stanford’s research chamber. She decided to take a look in there first.

And she then she wished she didn’t.

Stanley was on the floor, not moving, a pile of blood forming under his body. A knife in his back. Next to him was Stanford, completely messed up and beaten, crying quietly and looking at her with shocked, widened eyes.  
Mabel stumbled back.  
This must be a nightmare, and she would wake up any second, right?  
“Mabel…” Stanford sobbed, “Get away from here…!”

Big tears escaped her eyes as she asked, “Is Dipper here?”

“He’s not… himself!”

But he was here. Oh, god.

“Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan, can you move?” she asked, and Stanford just cried harder. It took Mabel another good minute to realize that the knife in her great uncles back had already killed him.  
“No…!”  
A nightmare! THIS MUST BE A NIGHTMARE!

She sunk on her knees, holding her head, crying and desperately trying to wake up from the nightmare. But she wasn’t dreaming.  
“Mabel—Mabel please, please hand me the knife—“

“No, don’t do that.”

Mabel froze in place as he heard that voice. It sounded different, but…  
“Dipper…? Is that you?”

He was standing in the door, not looking at her. He nodded quietly.  
“Don’t hand him the knife. He’s going to try killing himself with it. You don’t want that, do you?”

She was shaking and stared at the knife in Stanley’s back.  
Just a nightmare.  
A nightmare…!

“Of course not,” she sobbed, “What have you done?”

“I didn’t do anything. Mabel, please follow me. I’ll explain everything.”

Explain everything?  
How? How was he going to explain that one of their great uncles was dead, and one of them was almost dead?

Everything inside her brain screamed ‘No!’, but she was unable to listen. She felt like she was in trance or something, following her brother down to the lower part of the basement. He went ahead, and she followed, staring at all the old and newer machines down there with an empty expression.  
Empty. She felt so, so empty.

She finally found him in front of the machine that had started it all.  
She remembered herself, hovering in the air.  
_Grunkle Stan, I trust you._  
She remembered her own words back then. But she couldn’t trust her brother, or could she? She didn’t know anymore. But this was Dipper, right? She looked at him from behind. His curls, the colour of his hair, the shape of his head and neck. His voice earlier. Of course it was him. It was Dipper, her long lost twin brother.

“Dipper, please… please come back home with me. Please make me wake up from this n-nightmare—“

“I will, Mabel. It really is just a nightmare,” Dipper said, not looking at her.

She shivered and didn’t know what to say. Too many tears, too broken to talk.  
Her brother was standing in front of the triangular portal. And it was activated.

He stared at it, not turning around.

“Remember when I saved you from your fantasy bubble? The world you called Mabel Land? I’ve been thinking these past years. A lot. I missed you, I terribly missed you,” he went on, and it almost sounded like he was crying,  
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I really am.”

_For what exactly?_

She still couldn’t talk, her throat hurt and she couldn’t make a sound. She was still crying and everything she wanted to say, every scream she wanted to let out was just stuck in her throat.

Then he finally faced her and she wanted to scream.  
Her brothers left eye and the demons right eye, looking at her as if they wanted to pierce through her soul and take whatever was left of her. The portal started to glow again, and hovering above Dipper was a huge dimensional rift.

“I’m sorry for taking you away from that place. A place where we all can be happy. **Let’s go back to our summer. Just the three—the two of us**.”

   


Mabel woke up in the attic.  
She blinked, then stretched and yawned. A look at the colourful calendar next to her bed made her screech.  
“Oh my god, Dipper, it’s today!” she yelled and jumped up from her bed, ready to wake her brother.  
“DIPPER! WAKE UP! IT’S OUR BIRTHDAY!”  
The boy yawned, turning away and murmuring something about just 5 more minutes, but Mabel jumped on his bed and rolled him over so he fell on the floor.  
“Ouch, Mabel! What’s wrong with you?”  
“Dipper, it’s our 13th birthday! We’re finally TEENAGERS, YEAH!”  
Dipper had hit his head on the floor and rubbed it, complaining about his sisters waking methods.  
“Geez, I know it’s our birthday!” he laughed a little too loud.

“Come on then! I bet Grunkle Stan made breakfast for us!”

Mabel rushed downstairs and Dipper followed her with a smile on his face.  
In the kitchen, not only Grunkle Stan, but also Great Uncle Ford, Soos, Wendy, Candy, Grenda, Pacifica and so many others were waiting for them with a big birthday surprise. Mabel’s smile showed just how happy she was.

And no one questioned Dipper’s yellow eye.


End file.
